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Old 03-08-2020, 03:26 PM #1
Fat Joe
 
 
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Paintball team names: cringe edition

Being part of paintball since basically my entire life, Ive seent some ****. The other day I was playing some of my old Traumahead VHS tapes and hearing the names had me dying. Obviously the classics were great, Dynasty, Avalanche, Ironmen, Ground Zero, Lockout, Aftershock, etc....but I wanted to hear about the ones that were awful, because theres more of those than the former.

Whats the worst paintball team name youve ever heard? Obviously the ones that were trying to be serious get more points.

Mine was "Zero Kewl". Yes. I played on it. No, I didnt come up with it.
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Old 03-08-2020, 04:20 PM #2
Subterfuge
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Treason (not going to name the city)

Who the heck names their team treason? I get you want to be a pirate, but Treason is one of those crimes people hate you for.

Some of their team, perhaps it was the cold, looked permanently pissed. With a name like that, I ensured they were ripped apart and sent extra bonusballs just in case they wanted to wipe. Those points did not last long for them. I don't think they were bad people, it's just their team name inspired vindictive natures against them.
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Old 03-08-2020, 04:51 PM #3
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Care Bears
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Old 03-09-2020, 08:11 AM #4
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My first 3 man team was called lethal injection lol
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Old 03-09-2020, 07:03 PM #5
Fubarius
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Some of the names used by my first team were a bit out there.

First tournament attempt sort of fell through, 3 man event, three teams showed up with just 2 players each including mine, so my friend and I being regulars at that field volunteered to split so we'd have two full teams.

Second event we did have all three players show up... eventually. John was running late. So when he did eventually arrive he had the privilege of playing on team "Where's John".

Next event was a 5 man, we scrape together a few more players, and we all splurge on some new jerseys. We all decide on blue. At the even we played as the "Psycho Smurfs".

I think we had that name for maybe one more event, but the roster kept changing as players quit, or moved, or whatever. We finally settled on a more stable lineup, but ironically switched our team name to "Total Instability".

Over the years I lost track of how many times I've seen team "Us" on the score sheet. And if team "Us" shows up, team "Them" is soon to follow.

Every region also seems to have a team "Adrenaline", winner of the most obvious and least inspired though the team thinks they were clever name possible. And since paintball tends to attract both nerdy folk and people interested in military stuff (raises hand) every region also has a team "Fubar", which ironically I've never been on. Every region I've played at it already existed.

And a woodsball tourney just isn't complete with team "Wolverines" showing up, and if you're outside of Michigan the name is a 50/50 split between X-men inspired or Red Dawn inspired.
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Old 03-11-2020, 01:48 PM #6
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Killbillion,
Witness- kinda cringey, LeBron Cavs era,
Unsung heros,
Gorillas.

I'm kinda sad my groups never caved in to my type of humor.

Pianist players.
Team hugs n stuff
Filthy Sanchez.
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Old 03-11-2020, 03:14 PM #7
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Some old church sponsored teams I heard of were quite cleverly named:

Run and Hide
Duck and Cover
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Old 03-13-2020, 11:46 AM #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fubarius View Post
Every region also seems to have a team "Adrenaline", winner of the most obvious and least inspired though the team thinks they were clever name possible. And since paintball tends to attract both nerdy folk and people interested in military stuff (raises hand) every region also has a team "Fubar", which ironically I've never been on. Every region I've played at it already existed.

And a woodsball tourney just isn't complete with team "Wolverines" showing up, and if you're outside of Michigan the name is a 50/50 split between X-men inspired or Red Dawn inspired.

In addition to FUBAR (we had several of those around here), dont forget "Devil Dogs", that was a ragingly popular military name as well.
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Old 03-14-2020, 01:20 AM #9
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I named our team Nicolas Cage


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Old 03-14-2020, 04:18 AM #10
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^Ha!

Should have gone with Chuck Norris!

Now that’s a great team name lol.
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Old 03-16-2020, 01:15 PM #11
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I've always wanted to have a team called "The Squashed Possums."
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Old 03-16-2020, 09:47 PM #12
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Old 03-30-2020, 03:19 AM #13
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Old 03-30-2020, 09:39 AM #14
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My cousins and I played a 3-man as Team Gay Pride. We ended up winning the thing and ended up in the local newspaper.
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