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Old 10-09-2013, 11:48 AM #652
Mr.Familiar
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Originally Posted by yuik View Post
Your career isn't very relationship friendly right now . You need to realize that . Just like a rock star stripper army ranger or IT consultant who is constantly traveling .
Thank you for your vast wisdom.
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Old 10-09-2013, 11:54 AM #653
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Thank you for your vast wisdom.
So what's more important your career or your relationship . Decide and do the right thing
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Old 10-09-2013, 12:01 PM #654
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After the 5th unanswered text she sent me I responded accordingly explaining we're on a break and i'm going to treat it as such. She got the message and backed off. Now how long should I let things cool off before I say anything again? I want to attempt to work this out but do not want to rush into things and make the mistake of forcing it.
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Old 10-09-2013, 12:12 PM #655
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1) She will text you again so don't worry
2) Don't be surprised if she bangs some dude and gives you the "well you weren't talking to me so I thought we were over for good" excuse. I don't know if you two agreed not to see other people during this but don't be blindsided if that happens.
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Old 10-09-2013, 12:44 PM #656
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yuik View Post
Drop out of school and become an accountant .

Your career isn't very relationship friendly right now . You need to realize that . Just like a rock star stripper army ranger or IT consultant who is constantly traveling .
spoken like someone who seems to know the bare minimum or net to nothing about the army or military service in general. There are plenty of soldiers who carry successful relationships through travel and constant deployments just like everyone else in the world your relationship and how it balances with your career is entirely dependent on the two people involved in said relationship...

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My girlfriend is the type of person that puts everyone else before her, especially me. I don't know if it's because she hates confrontation so much, or she just really likes to give away what she has. I don't know. She is so timid and shy sometimes, it's almost just frustrating, because she holds herself back. She gets stressed out over the smallest things. I'm 4 years older than her, yet I see so much of myself in her, when I was that age; so for me, it's hard to have the patience to deal with that sort of stuff all over again, especially when I'm trying to grow and manage my own life. But, I think I love her because of who she is and how much fun we have together. We get along great, and have these moments where we will be in the car going somewhere, it will be totally silent for an hour, and one of us will say the exact thing that the other was/is thinking at that exact moment, whether it's a past memory, a question about the other person, or whatever. It's really weird and special, and I don't think I would find that with anyone else.
However, we had a talk tonight about the future. I am going back to school in my MBA program, 2.5 hours away from where she lives, and I'll be here for the next two years. After that, I'm going to apply to work for the United Nations, which would probably be out of country, for another two years... She said she would follow me, but I really don't know how practical that would be. She would be leaving everything behind, and I don't know what she would do while with me in another country, when she hasn't even finished school yet. We don't know what we are going to do.

/emotions
Depending on what she is studying she could consider doing online courses or something during the time you would be over seas... Furthermore, depending on what country you go to they could actually have pretty extensive jobs available for your g.f. (if she can get a visa to come with you) doing a myriad of different functions. I think what you and her need to do is really hammer things out beyond just a simple conversation. Actually sit down togeather and plan for the future. Try to anticipate and plan for all possible issues you think you could both face.

As for dude on the break... I really think you and old girl need to just talk about what the heck is going on. She is clearly under some stress from school or the long distance or something. After a few days of "being on break" give her a call and ask her how she is doing. Then ask her if school is stressing her out or if something else has her stressed. I can almost garuntee everything will come tumbling out. She is likely under so much pressure/stress that she isnt feeling right and as such its taxing her ability to deal with your relationship. Talking about it with her can at this point only help to either re-solidify the relationship and help you past the "break" or solidly identify the relationship as over and begin to allow you to move on. When you are in a relationship for some time with someone you should not feel like you are unable to ask them honest questions about their feelings towards the relationship and where you both stand within that relationship. Her comments about walking on egg shells and the like suggest to me that she and you have some things you need to seriously talk about... you should get to the bottom of where you both stand in this relationship... advice from us is great and all but until you and her figure out what the hell is really going on you are having people who have no idea about who she is or your interactions with each other attempt to give you advice from a general stand point. Humans are not cars advice given without fully understanding the mindset of the other person is nothing more then shots in the dark
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Old 10-09-2013, 01:20 PM #657
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maxmcb12 View Post
After the 5th unanswered text she sent me I responded accordingly explaining we're on a break and i'm going to treat it as such. She got the message and backed off. Now how long should I let things cool off before I say anything again? I want to attempt to work this out but do not want to rush into things and make the mistake of forcing it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by xFSUxlaxflip View Post

spoken like someone who seems to know the bare minimum or net to nothing about the army or military service in general. There are plenty of soldiers who carry successful relationships through travel and constant deployments just like everyone else in the world your relationship and how it balances with your career is entirely dependent on the two people involved in said relationship...

Depending on what she is studying she could consider doing online courses or something during the time you would be over seas... Furthermore, depending on what country you go to they could actually have pretty extensive jobs available for your g.f. (if she can get a visa to come with you) doing a myriad of different functions. I think what you and her need to do is really hammer things out beyond just a simple conversation. Actually sit down togeather and plan for the future. Try to anticipate and plan for all possible issues you think you could both face.

As for dude on the break... I really think you and old girl need to just talk about what the heck is going on. She is clearly under some stress from school or the long distance or something. After a few days of "being on break" give her a call and ask her how she is doing. Then ask her if school is stressing her out or if something else has her stressed. I can almost garuntee everything will come tumbling out. She is likely under so much pressure/stress that she isnt feeling right and as such its taxing her ability to deal with your relationship. Talking about it with her can at this point only help to either re-solidify the relationship and help you past the "break" or solidly identify the relationship as over and begin to allow you to move on. When you are in a relationship for some time with someone you should not feel like you are unable to ask them honest questions about their feelings towards the relationship and where you both stand within that relationship. Her comments about walking on egg shells and the like suggest to me that she and you have some things you need to seriously talk about... you should get to the bottom of where you both stand in this relationship... advice from us is great and all but until you and her figure out what the hell is really going on you are having people who have no idea about who she is or your interactions with each other attempt to give you advice from a general stand point. Humans are not cars advice given without fully understanding the mindset of the other person is nothing more then shots in the dark
Bull**** look at the rate of infidelity with army wives . And that's only the things that are reported or who caves in and tells the dude .

Look at all the babies Americans had during vietnam over there .

Your crazy if you think being deployed for long times doesn't harm a relationship .
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Old 10-09-2013, 02:23 PM #658
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So what's more important your career or your relationship . Decide and do the right thing
Both are important to me and I feel incomplete without both. I feel as though myself, my relationship, and my career can all benefit from each other by all being present.

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Depending on what she is studying she could consider doing online courses or something during the time you would be over seas... Furthermore, depending on what country you go to they could actually have pretty extensive jobs available for your g.f. (if she can get a visa to come with you) doing a myriad of different functions. I think what you and her need to do is really hammer things out beyond just a simple conversation. Actually sit down togeather and plan for the future. Try to anticipate and plan for all possible issues you think you could both face.
She wants to be a dentist or dental hygienist. That's her thing.
We eventually decided last night on just slowing things down and going with the flow, like we originally agreed on in the beginning of the relationship. If we still feel this strongly about each other in the future, or stronger, then we will make decisions at the present.

Quote:
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Bull**** look at the rate of infidelity with army wives . And that's only the things that are reported or who caves in and tells the dude .

Look at all the babies Americans had during vietnam over there .

Your crazy if you think being deployed for long times doesn't harm a relationship .
What are the infidelity rates?
"In most cases, service members who were deployed had a lower risk of subsequently ending their marriages than service members who did not deploy or deployed fewer days."
http://www.rand.org/pubs/monographs/MG599.html


I think being away from each other is harder to be in the relationship, but in of itself, doesn't harm it.
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Old 10-09-2013, 02:27 PM #659
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My girlfriend is hot as **** and I don't know how to not get jealous when shes around other guys cause all they do is hit on her. ****s annoying cause she gets salty when I get mad or tell them to **** off or whatever.
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Old 10-09-2013, 02:55 PM #660
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Bull**** look at the rate of infidelity with army wives . And that's only the things that are reported or who caves in and tells the dude .

Look at all the babies Americans had during vietnam over there .

Your crazy if you think being deployed for long times doesn't harm a relationship .

Where do you get your facts from?

Furthermore, would a woman who is capable of cheating on her husband do it regardless of the profession of the husband? Or are you implying that the husband's profession some how pushes perfectly happy couples to suddenly have marriage problems and rampant infidelity?

Marriage issues are always ultimately there external factors can exacerbate that but people dont just completely change all of a sudden due to some external factor, excluding psychological or physical trauma of course.

The real question though is why you hold that opinion. I'd make the guess that you have a hard time trusting people in general and women specifically. Have you been cheated on in your past or something? Ideally by the time you get married to some one you should know them well enough to have a least an indication of potential faults, flaws, or trouble spots in the relationship between you..
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Old 10-09-2013, 03:12 PM #661
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The mans time away from home lets *****ed sway
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Old 10-09-2013, 03:53 PM #662
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The mans time away from home lets *****ed sway
rofl you arent even worth my time...
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Old 10-09-2013, 04:00 PM #663
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Where do you get your facts from?

Furthermore, would a woman who is capable of cheating on her husband do it regardless of the profession of the husband? Or are you implying that the husband's profession some how pushes perfectly happy couples to suddenly have marriage problems and rampant infidelity?

Marriage issues are always ultimately there external factors can exacerbate that but people dont just completely change all of a sudden due to some external factor, excluding psychological or physical trauma of course.

The real question though is why you hold that opinion. I'd make the guess that you have a hard time trusting people in general and women specifically. Have you been cheated on in your past or something? Ideally by the time you get married to some one you should know them well enough to have a least an indication of potential faults, flaws, or trouble spots in the relationship between you..
http://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/lo...219612751.html

Commutes take tolls on relationships .

Ok let's add a 26 hour flight commute where one is at work for 3 months at a time . I'm sure that wont have similar effects as the 2 hour commuter.

If you don't think being an army ranger puts more stress and a higher chance of infidelity on a relationship than say a taxi driver . Your insane .
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Old 10-09-2013, 04:09 PM #664
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you didn't even read that article did you?
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Old 10-09-2013, 04:12 PM #665
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you didn't even read that article did you?
I actually did about 6 months ago
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Old 10-09-2013, 04:13 PM #666
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http://m.nationalreview.com/corner/3...m-david-french


There is one for the specific problem .


This isn't a new story
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Old 10-09-2013, 04:20 PM #667
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neither of those articles have anything to do with women cheating on their deployed husbands
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Old 10-09-2013, 04:22 PM #668
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neither of those articles have anything to do with women cheating on their deployed husbands
Correlation . Read parallels .
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Old 10-09-2013, 04:29 PM #669
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≠causation
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weanegro: its like a really tiny person eating a regular size gummy worm

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"Originally posted by komodo-117: our beloved pharmacudical companies"
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Old 10-09-2013, 04:32 PM #670
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≠causation
Find me prove what I am claiming is wrong .

Mind you not alot of women will knowingly get involved with people who are away alot so your eliminating the selection pool
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Old 10-09-2013, 04:37 PM #671
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a lot is two words. You have been proven wrong
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Old 10-09-2013, 04:40 PM #672
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Find me prove what I am claiming is wrong .

Mind you not alot of women will knowingly get involved with people who are away alot so your eliminating the selection pool
I'm not really sure what you're trying to say but here are some statistics:

Quote:
The military divorce rate went down slightly in 2012, settling at 3.5 percent, according to Pentagon statistics released to Military.com on Tuesday.
...
The civilian divorce rate stands at about 3.6 percent as of 2010, according to the most recent data.
http://www.military.com/daily-news/2...1075741&rank=2
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weanegro: its like a really tiny person eating a regular size gummy worm

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"Originally posted by komodo-117: our beloved pharmacudical companies"
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