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Old 01-21-2004, 06:07 PM #22
ssgaR
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"I swear, he shot himself in the back of the head!"
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:07 PM #23
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"Hey piggy, how is your wife and my kids?"

or

"Suuuueeeyy, Suey here pig pig pig."
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:08 PM #24
JoshGrrrr
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"Sir....can you pleas make this quick...I'm about to crap on myself."
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:09 PM #25
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hold on a second, let me get my gun from my pocket.
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:10 PM #26
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"Get your stupid *** flashlight out of my eyes you goddamn punk!!!!"
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:12 PM #27
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Officer- " License and Registration Please"

You-"Sure no problem , Can you hold my beer?"

Last edited by SpeedyBallz : 01-21-2004 at 07:24 PM.
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:12 PM #28
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cop- are you drunk sir?


you- ....whats your definition of drunk?
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:13 PM #29
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Take his gun shoot it in the air and yell "Yeeeeeeha"

or

Throw in subliminal messages like:

Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going?"

You: "Piggy five I think."

Officer: "Did you just say Piggy five?"

You: Act Surprised.. "Why no fuzz-a-sir, why would I bacon something like that?"
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:15 PM #30
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well...yeah...I have a couple mexicans in my trunk but they're all dead
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:21 PM #31
backplayer999
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person-i swear the guy in my trunk fell on my knife 11 times

cop- what guy in your trunk?
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:22 PM #32
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I politely offered a cop in a parade a doughnut once, but he refused the offer.
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:23 PM #33
IromKnight
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rock crack would have been more comical
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:32 PM #34
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i have no blood in my alcohol system
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:37 PM #35
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hold on let me get my illegal stash of illegal weapons and explosives in the backl truck.
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:37 PM #36
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hold on let me get my illegal stash of illegal weapons and explosives in the back trunk.
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:39 PM #37
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Is that a gun on your waist or are you just happy to see me?
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Old 01-21-2004, 06:45 PM #38
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"the last cop who pulled me over didn't have the chance to pull out his gun"

OR

"the last cop who pulled me over told me to get on my knees"

OR

"the last cop who pulled me over wasn't as good looking as you"
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Old 01-21-2004, 07:08 PM #39
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"yeah man sure, you can search the trunk and everything"

****ing idiots don't know their rights and i get arrested for it =\

****ing idiots forget where they leave their pipe and...damn it, that one's my fault
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Old 01-21-2004, 07:21 PM #40
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I wish someone would make a scene sometimes. My in car camera can't wait to catch some real comedy. Problem is, no one says jack until after you put them in handcuffs and they are in the back of the car. That's why traffic stops suck. Best idea I've ever heard was in a joke. Cop pulls a guy over for speeding and walks up to ID the guy. Guy hands over ID and insurance and calmly tells the cop he'd like to confess to the body in his trunk and he'd get out and show the cop but he is wired to explosives. Cop gets twitchy and backs off, calls out entire SOU and every available officer. Everyone shows up, surrounds the vehicle and a negotiator starts trying to drum up a little dialogue with the driver. Driver acts befuddled and demands to know what's going on and why he is being harassed like this. Negotiator tells him why they are there and the driver calls."BS. I never said anything like that. That lying MF'er probably told you I was speeding too!"
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Old 01-21-2004, 07:24 PM #41
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A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!

or i gave him a warning shot.... in the head.

and heres a little story i want to shard which is kinda funny. i live in nfld canada and went to visit our capital of the province st. johns. so we were driving along and mom turned into tim hortons (the most well know coffie shop and donut shop, also sells coke and sandwiches stuff liek that for u who don't know) and then i looked up and next door was the rcnp head quaters lol!
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Old 01-21-2004, 07:25 PM #42
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Why dear me was i going that fast? Let me just get my ID out of your pants...
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