Allow me to introduce myself. I am Grayson Goff of the famed SE X-factor but most people call me George Ocean Frank Frank. I'm currently ranked 13th in the world (higher than Colt or Archie) but I'm more well known because I'm fun to party with. What I'm selling today is not just a gun but a lifestyle. When you buy this gun I can semi-guarantee the following:
-You will print money like the Federal Reserve by winning tournaments.
-You will obtain some of my powers of being fun to party with and people will buy you free drinks (Only applicable if you are of age).
-If you are not of age, you will instantly start growing a beard and chest hair.
-You will instantly become more attractive and draw the attention of girls you never thought you could sleep with.
-You will immediately have success in business or school and things you had difficulty in the past with will become easy to you.
Disclaimers:
-Don't go to Chinese restaurants because fortune cookies will try to open you.
-Buying this gun is like winning the lotto, you must protect your fortune from those who wish you harm.
-Gun safe required to purchase this marker (not it's not) with optional retina scanner and voice recognition software (no that's definitely not required).
-I've run out of clever things to say but you get the ****ing point.
The gun.
A used (by me mother****ers) San Deathtonio X-factor GEO 3.0.
Comes with:
-One silver barrel back. No idea the size but I never change that ****, it's a GEO. It shoots anything, even rocks (don't shoot rocks).
-One red barrel tip. REVERSE THREADED. JACK WOOD IS A GENIUS.
-One parts kit with O-rings that I have no idea where they go.
-One soft tipped bolt. (The more bolts you have the more like Usian Bolt you become).
-Eclipse Grease, please only use on gun, not yourself.
-UPGRADED Allen key set. It's now green, that's the upgrade.
-Supreme heavy duty maximum capacity Eclipse Gun case that has a YKK zipper. (Courtesy of Outkast)
All I'm asking for is one EZ time payment of $1300 OBO or 2 EZ time payments of $650 made at exactly the same time. NO TRADES unless for an AR-15.
Photos Courtesy of Archie "3rd place" Montemayor.
BUT WAIT THAT'S NOT IT!
If you buy this in the next 5 days, 13 hours, and 26 minutes I'll throw in an X-factor T-shirt for free! (only XXL, don't be picky)
Payment's accepted: Unmarked 20's in a paper bag or paypal (paypal is way better).
Graysong's feedback: I'm a pro player, if I dick you over you can come find me at an event and rob me.
Professional Paintball Player. Closed course. Do not try this at home.
