You can hire him... OR you can hire me for $50 per match instead. I won't be at the event but from Louisville, KY, I will telepathetically communicate with each of your players. I ensure detailed and accurate descriptions as to where the opposing players are located and what your path of travel should be to easily eliminate the competition. For an additional fee I offer Caprisuns, orange slices, and a short pep talk after every match. #Instawin
All in good fun pomalley. Ya'll hire Phillip and give him someone to coach.