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Old 10-04-2012, 11:52 PM #1681
Promagistrate
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that reminds me of Peterman

where is peterman?
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Old 10-04-2012, 11:53 PM #1682
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I've pissed in my yard, but man it sounded like he had some major flow going.
Funny story. I was having a flare up with my bowel issue. I was out and about, passed the last possible place to go to the bathroom in a private situation. It was about 4 miles till the house. I was rolling and stopping at every stop sign, rummaged around in the car for a plastic bag to put under my *** so I didnt ruin my seat. Trying my hardest to make it to the house, I made it to my drive way, pulled in, stepped out and took two steps towards my garage and my butt was like LOL NOPE. So what did I do? I had to pull my pants down and **** in my own yard. In broad daylight. Thank GOD it was after the school buses went by.

Carry on.
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Old 10-04-2012, 11:55 PM #1683
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Hey, at least your fridge looks healthy.

My friend had four gallons of milk in his fridge, from half full to near empty, all expired by weeks at the least, some nearly cottage cheese. And a few other small, mostly bad food products.

His excuse for that **** was he's never home. I'm assuming he doesn't bring dates to his apartment, leaves his medication bottles lying around, and ammo and other ****.

You're a god damned master of his domain compared to him.
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Old 10-04-2012, 11:58 PM #1684
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Old 10-05-2012, 12:22 AM #1685
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *knock-out05* View Post
Funny story. I was having a flare up with my bowel issue. I was out and about, passed the last possible place to go to the bathroom in a private situation. It was about 4 miles till the house. I was rolling and stopping at every stop sign, rummaged around in the car for a plastic bag to put under my *** so I didnt ruin my seat. Trying my hardest to make it to the house, I made it to my drive way, pulled in, stepped out and took two steps towards my garage and my butt was like LOL NOPE. So what did I do? I had to pull my pants down and **** in my own yard. In broad daylight. Thank GOD it was after the school buses went by.

Carry on.
I had a similar experience once. Years ago I was at the beach with my family for our yearly vacation to the coast. My parents and I were sitting on the beach relaxing when I began to feel the need to drop some dookie. I waited a while longer because I'm he man and watching the waves is better than making your own in a toilet bowl.

But eventually it became too much to take. I told my parents that I was walking back up to the house and my dad said that I should take 1 of the chairs with me to save some time when he walks back up. I told him that I really had to take a dump and that I couldn't be arsed to take chairs with me when I walked up, but after 30 seconds or so of haggling I finally agreed, and took in my arms 2 chairs to walk back up to the house.

by this time I really had to poop. Unfortunately the house that we were renting was on the top of a steep hill, maybe a quarter of a mile away from the beach; however, the weight of the chairs (they were large chairs) was wearing me down and slowing me to the point that I was walking at maybe half normal walking speed. the poo poo rollercoaster was inching closer and closer to my anus but unfortunately I could not hold it much longer. the sick part of this story begins when you realize that I was wearing sandals at the time and obviously with swimtrunks was not wearing any underwear, so when the levy broke the liquid dookie began to trickle down my leg. Soon, like routing an army, a trickle became a flood as poopoo began to gush down out of my butthole and down my legs on my way up the hill. I dredged my way up the hill, cursing my father the entire way, and in my sandals the melted turds squished back and forth, leaving pock mark drips on the ground as I walked up. Luckily for me there was a bathroom adjacent to the garage and I threw the chairs aside and squished my way inside to finish my business and take a shower. This was followed by at least half an hour of extensive sanizing and clean up.

never again.
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Last edited by Promagistrate : 10-05-2012 at 12:24 AM.
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Old 10-05-2012, 12:39 AM #1686
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Doo doo browns.
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Old 10-05-2012, 12:52 AM #1687
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The thunder and lightning tonight is crazy
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:01 AM #1688
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Man, knockout is balding and ****s his pants on occasion, but runs marathons or those ironman competitions.

You're like an old man in a nursing home who still jogs every morning.
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:05 AM #1689
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Promagistrate View Post
I had a similar experience once. Years ago I was at the beach with my family for our yearly vacation to the coast. My parents and I were sitting on the beach relaxing when I began to feel the need to drop some dookie. I waited a while longer because I'm he man and watching the waves is better than making your own in a toilet bowl.

But eventually it became too much to take. I told my parents that I was walking back up to the house and my dad said that I should take 1 of the chairs with me to save some time when he walks back up. I told him that I really had to take a dump and that I couldn't be arsed to take chairs with me when I walked up, but after 30 seconds or so of haggling I finally agreed, and took in my arms 2 chairs to walk back up to the house.

by this time I really had to poop. Unfortunately the house that we were renting was on the top of a steep hill, maybe a quarter of a mile away from the beach; however, the weight of the chairs (they were large chairs) was wearing me down and slowing me to the point that I was walking at maybe half normal walking speed. the poo poo rollercoaster was inching closer and closer to my anus but unfortunately I could not hold it much longer. the sick part of this story begins when you realize that I was wearing sandals at the time and obviously with swimtrunks was not wearing any underwear, so when the levy broke the liquid dookie began to trickle down my leg. Soon, like routing an army, a trickle became a flood as poopoo began to gush down out of my butthole and down my legs on my way up the hill. I dredged my way up the hill, cursing my father the entire way, and in my sandals the melted turds squished back and forth, leaving pock mark drips on the ground as I walked up. Luckily for me there was a bathroom adjacent to the garage and I threw the chairs aside and squished my way inside to finish my business and take a shower. This was followed by at least half an hour of extensive sanizing and clean up.

never again.
Ford pride. Ford pride.
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:05 AM #1690
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Man, knockout is balding and ****s his pants on occasion, but runs marathons or those ironman competitions.

You're like an old man in a nursing home who still jogs every morning.
I have pooed my pants like 3 times in the 2.5 years that Ive had this condition. When I didnt know what was going on and I was driving trucks and ****, I had to pull over and cut the top off of a bottle and poo in there then throw it out the window.
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:07 AM #1691
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Its funny how it works. My body knows when I can and cant poop. Like if im out and about drinking or at the bar or out to eat, i hardly ever go poop. but lord about 5 minutes after I get home the doo doo shoot starts spewing. Its like a fire hose some times.
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:21 AM #1692
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Ford pride. Ford pride.
Like I said, I'm never getting elected president because stuff like this is floating around the interbutts
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:22 AM #1693
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Why is this thread discussing poo...
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:30 AM #1694
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Why is this thread discussing poo...
Because butts.
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:44 AM #1695
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Better than politiks
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:49 AM #1696
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zip_bomb

interesting
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Old 10-05-2012, 02:03 AM #1697
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Those were so leet back in '95.
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Old 10-05-2012, 02:05 AM #1698
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80 oz. down. Oh lawd.
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Old 10-05-2012, 02:08 AM #1699
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Priorities.
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Old 10-05-2012, 02:37 AM #1700
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Kraft Dinner
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Old 10-05-2012, 02:39 AM #1701
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thats a lot of piss
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