[R2-D2]

well at least we know where you're coming from now, dabears.

zero, didn't you finish college at like 24? I have already experienced about everything you've mentioned at 22.. I don't know why 25 is your cutoff.

[Watermelondrea]

Originally Posted by p-ballplaya1440

So my roommate and I went out to party tonight. We didn't stay long, but I asked two girls to dance and got rejected both times. Baby steps for me guys, I need confidence again. It's hard for me since I've dealt with one girl for so long, I take a woman's judgement very seriously and it was pretty ****ing embarrassing to me. But my roommate just told me to not give a **** what a few random girls at a party think of me because I can do whatever the **** I want now and they don't know **** about me. I just have to go in with that mindset I guess.

Input?

you're going to fail 9/10 times. it's proven theory.
hell, i went to the club with my boys a couple weeks back and asked 11 girls to dance. i got turned down by all 11. i asked a 12th to dance, she said yes, i ended up having sex with her that night. trust me, i was ready to pull out a mini-uzi and light up the ****in' club after the 6th or 7th.

luckily i didn't have one...

your roommate is right. go into it with the "don't give a ****" mindset. a girl turns you down, you tell them to have a good night and ask the chick next to them to dance. she turns you down too, you tell her to have a good night and ask the girl next to her to dance. once of them is going to say yes, but [on most occasions] you're going to need to ask more than 2 girls to dance before one of them is going to say yes.

[edudcixlsyd]

Fuuck so I have a thing with a girl who lives about an hour away. I'm supposed to go over after work but I'm tryna break things off. Would I look like a punk being like "yo we ain't bout it no more" through the phone? Ha

[ZeR0 EVOlution]

Originally Posted by R2-D2

well at least we know where you're coming from now, dabears.

zero, didn't you finish college at like 24? I have already experienced about everything you've mentioned at 22.. I don't know why 25 is your cutoff.

Nah, that was my "projected" date since I started really late because I had an amazing few years after high school (and some terrible ones). But I will be done by Fall 2013 since I just declared a minor so close to having graduated. Otherwise, I would have been done next semester.

I have plans for grad school, but not unless I get a job first. There is absolutely no point in investing a hundred grand in a graduate degree when people can't get jobs with a bachelors. I'm going to find a stats/analyst job and just jerk off to the sexiness of mathematics and data for a few years, and then probably go in for a masters in stats.

[frankie says chillax]

who asks to dance at clubs? i just **** around and bump ***** with a chick shaking it and there ya go.

[dabears!!]

Originally Posted by R2-D2

well at least we know where you're coming from now, dabears.

zero, didn't you finish college at like 24? I have already experienced about everything you've mentioned at 22.. I don't know why 25 is your cutoff.

yea im coming from personal experience and i am lucky to have the best girl i could ask for.
going up north with her after i close the shop tonight, she woke me up with sex and then snuck out to tim hortons to get me coffee and a bagel while i was in the shower.

[Rampager2000]

Originally Posted by edudcixlsyd

Fuuck so I have a thing with a girl who lives about an hour away. I'm supposed to go over after work but I'm tryna break things off. Would I look like a punk being like "yo we ain't bout it no more" through the phone? Ha

Better through the phone than through text.

[ZeR0 EVOlution]

Originally Posted by frankie says chillax

who asks to dance at clubs? i just **** around and bump ***** with a chick shaking it and there ya go.

Don't come to LA. It's not as simple over here. Girls are whores at clubs, but they don't like looking like whores. It's a paradox.

[Mr.Familiar]

Originally Posted by ZeR0 EVOlution

Nah, that was my "projected" date since I started really late because I had an amazing few years after high school (and some terrible ones). But I will be done by Fall 2013 since I just declared a minor so close to having graduated. Otherwise, I would have been done next semester.

I have plans for grad school, but not unless I get a job first. There is absolutely no point in investing a hundred grand in a graduate degree when people can't get jobs with a bachelors. I'm going to find a stats/analyst job and just jerk off to the sexiness of mathematics and data for a few years, and then probably go in for a masters in stats.

I have a bachelors and can't even get a job as a warehouse trainee...fml. Aiming for grad school next year.

[MC Pee Pants]

Hey mates I went out with that 28yr old again last night.

been out with this girl about 4-5 times. Previously to last night I was at her place last weekend and we ended up making out and I had her half naked and my hand down her pants but she stopped me saying were going too fast, etc, etc she said she hardly knows anything about me. Anyways I didn't go any further as I realized I needed to work on comfort with her.

Fast forward to last night we were supposed to hang out but she flaked saying she was too tired. A few hrs later she says her friend stopped by and woke her up so I should come over and keep her company. I end up fixing her bathtub that is broken and **** cuz i'm a manly man like that. And her & her friend were all impressed. (Lol)

We end up making out some more and her friend falls asleep on the couch (her friend is gorgeous, mixed race, british accent, great body a doctor..)

I take her to the bedroom and we make out some more get her top off and she stops me again saying 'soo what are your interests?' so I try to work on some comfort and attempt to get her pants off but she pulls them back up. Didn't finger her or anything this time. At this point its 4:30am in the morning and were both pretty drunk (she is a BIG drinker). So we just fall asleep. Wake up in the morning to go to work give her a kiss goodbye and leave.

28yr old only slept with 4 people her whole life (all during relationships). So idk where to go from here, is this a major **** up that I spent the night and didn't lay her? Am I heading to the Friendzone or what?

[dabears!!]

why didnt you ask her what her interests are?
does she want the same thing you do?

[MC Pee Pants]

I did and we talked more about random stuff about each other. As for what she wants she said last date shes said lets keep hanging out and see where things go. (She is hesitant because i'm 6 years younger than her) but i'm making progress on that part though.

[ZeR0 EVOlution]

Originally Posted by MC Pee Pants

Hey mates I went out with that 28yr old again last night.

been out with this girl about 4-5 times. Previously to last night I was at her place last weekend and we ended up making out and I had her half naked and my hand down her pants but she stopped me saying were going too fast, etc, etc she said she hardly knows anything about me. Anyways I didn't go any further as I realized I needed to work on comfort with her.

Fast forward to last night we were supposed to hang out but she flaked saying she was too tired. A few hrs later she says her friend stopped by and woke her up so I should come over and keep her company. I end up fixing her bathtub that is broken and **** cuz i'm a manly man like that. And her & her friend were all impressed. (Lol)

We end up making out some more and her friend falls asleep on the couch (her friend is gorgeous, mixed race, british accent, great body a doctor..)

I take her to the bedroom and we make out some more get her top off and she stops me again saying 'soo what are your interests?' so I try to work on some comfort and attempt to get her pants off but she pulls them back up. Didn't finger her or anything this time. At this point its 4:30am in the morning and were both pretty drunk (she is a BIG drinker). So we just fall asleep. Wake up in the morning to go to work give her a kiss goodbye and leave.

28yr old only slept with 4 people her whole life (all during relationships). So idk where to go from here, is this a major **** up that I spent the night and didn't lay her? Am I heading to the Friendzone or what?

Dude, some girls are just like that. My ex was a virgin that I happily dated. I didn't kiss her for the first two months we knew each other. My current girl is also very conservative, I kissed her once two weeks ago, and just had my second kiss with her on Thursday. Seriously, with some girls you take it slow. Not every girl wants to have sex immediately.

If anything, you screwed up by moving too fast too soon. This is a girl that's relationship quality. You don't **** them for the first few months, if not half a year. That's a real relationship. You build your foundation on communication, not on sex. That way, when you finally do have sex it's more meaningful. Having sex on the first or second date, in my opinion, is bull****. How do you build a foundation when you're under the impression that every date will lead to sex? You focus on the end goal, don't pay attention to the convo, because the whole time you're thinking about tapping her *** like a German keg.

But then again, this is what I went to school for (although I'm research oriented, we spend a huge portion of our education focusing on case studies and empirical research designs). I pay attention to the fine details because I see what it takes to have an unsuccessful and successful relationship. I'm not implying be abstinent, sex is still very important, but I am saying take the time to get to know her. You won't lose anything by doing so, you just gain a better understanding of the person that you're with.

[empire112234]

Originally Posted by p-ballplaya1440

So my roommate and I went out to party tonight. We didn't stay long, but I asked two girls to dance and got rejected both times. Baby steps for me guys, I need confidence again. It's hard for me since I've dealt with one girl for so long, I take a woman's judgement very seriously and it was pretty ****ing embarrassing to me. But my roommate just told me to not give a **** what a few random girls at a party think of me because I can do whatever the **** I want now and they don't know **** about me. I just have to go in with that mindset I guess.

Input?

Gotta swing to hit. The same thing happens to me all the time, but I don't let it bother me. Pretty soon you'll be able to do it over and over again without getting nervous or embarrassed.

[DaytonLax14]

I think it's a good idea, at least when you're starting out, to not go up to the hottest girl that you want to talk to. Go up and dance/talk with the pretty cute girl, then to the hot girl, then to the babe. It helps you build confidence so that you aren't as nervous going up the the sexy babe when the time comes.

It's like riding roller coasters. When you went to an amusement park for the first time, did you jump in line for the biggest and scariest ride? Probably not. But toward the end of the day, or when you have gotten older, you probably want to ride the bigger rides.

[ZeR0 EVOlution]

Eh, if you jump around, it makes you look like you're pursuing ***. I recommend the corners tactic:

Divide the floor into 4 sections: NW, NE, SW, and SE corners. Make your way into the middle of each corner, and work your way outward. People tend to stay in their respective corners during the night, so this way you prevent being seen hitting on multiple women throughout the night.

Never hit on girls in the smoking patio: everyone pays attention out there. On the floor, generally people are less observant and will tend to keep to themselves. They might see you dancing with a girl, but they won't pay too much attention unless they likewise have their eye set on you.

Find a girl, dance with her. Give each girl ~10 minutes to buy in. If you make good progress, DO NOT move onto other women right away. Break away and go with your friends. Talk to other people on the smoking patio, but don't be overly flirtatious. Odds are, the girl you met inside will come outside and see you. If you strike up a convo, build that up. Then break away again. The third time you see them, you should buy them a drink (theory of reciprocity states that if you do a deed for someone, they're socially bound to pay you back whether it be with a dance or a number; you want to use social rules to help your game along).

In the meantime, you go to another corner (if the girl wants to look for you, she'll go to the same spot she initially met you under the assumption that that's where you'll be, after first checking the bar and smoking patio). Start over.

In the time you start to build up your second girl, the "first" girl (not necessarily the first girl you talked to, just the first one that bit) should be warming up to you. With the second girl, be more distant. Don't be making moves on her, make it look like they're making moves on you. That way, if the girl that likes you catches you, you can play it off like she was hitting on you.

It's an art, but if you clubbing a lot, you'll figure it out. Me, I'm over that ****. Definitely over it.

[R2-D2]

you can apply zero's advice to many bars as well

[ZeR0 EVOlution]

Do this in really big bars only. In small bar atmospheres, be careful. Limit yourself to seriously flirting with only one girl, and choose wisely. Otherwise, just talk to people socially. When you see a biter (someone making eye contact, smiling, physical contact), then you go for her. Otherwise, you'll dig your shallow grave and not have enough soil to bury yourself in it.

[R2-D2]

yeah, or in multi floor bars, use the floors as dividers. Focus on one girl but keep socializing and meeting others without seeming like you're trying to **** everything

[M98custom1212]

Originally Posted by p-ballplaya1440

So my roommate and I went out to party tonight. We didn't stay long, but I asked two girls to dance and got rejected both times. Baby steps for me guys, I need confidence again. It's hard for me since I've dealt with one girl for so long, I take a woman's judgement very seriously and it was pretty ****ing embarrassing to me. But my roommate just told me to not give a **** what a few random girls at a party think of me because I can do whatever the **** I want now and they don't know **** about me. I just have to go in with that mindset I guess.

Input?

That why I said take a break from the ladies.. Do something for you..pick up a hobby.. go to the gym, camping, skydrive something,build something, take an extra class, cook something... because last thing you need right now is rejection

[ZeR0 EVOlution]

Originally Posted by M98custom1212

That why I said take a break from the ladies.. Do something for you..pick up a hobby.. go to the gym, camping, skydrive something,build something, take an extra class, cook something... because last thing you need right now is rejection

This. Go to the gym. This is the best advice I can give anyone. As you start to see progress on a LeanGains program, you'll start to feel better about yourself. That ends up shining through to the girls you talk to, and as such your success rate increases exponentially. Trust me.