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Old 04-06-2012, 09:47 PM #43
deadpooll
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Eldon was furious.

“Who the hell does he think he is taking my good scotch? Not mention he actually took a swig. Does he not remember, I taught him everything he knows? What, does he think he can run the show? He better not forget I still have a few tricks up my sleeve. Well, looks like I am going to have take time I can’t afford to visit our French comrade to see what he is up to. It better be worth my time” , Eldon said in a thoroughly disgusted tone.

“Do you feel better now?” Big John asked.

“No.” Eldon exclaimed

“Good. Now can we get back to the office to attend to our other business?” Big John asked

“Fine.“ grumbled Eldon as he motioned the driver to take them back.

On the ride back Deadpool still wondered why Eldon would pay off Ralph with so much gold. Finally his curiosity got the best of him and he asked “Why did you give Ralph so much gold after all the lies he wrote about Tyrell?”

After his encounter with Grazi Eldon was in no mood to answer questions. “When I feel you need to know I’ll tell you. Just don’t hold your breath waiting.“

With that Deadpool knew he wasn’t going to get any info from the boss, so he sat back and tried to rest as the car headed back to the office.
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Old 04-07-2012, 09:54 PM #44
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A New Beginning - Part #3

All but one of the vehicles began leaving the scene like cockroaches scattering from a light. The lone remaining vehicle was the least roadworthy of the bunch. It was a tractor-like truck with tall wheels. It shook and blew smoke from multiple spots as it slowly backed up to Dimlott. Ralph watched incredulously as the ancient contraption came to a stop and sat vibrating inches from his head. The pungent exhaust fumes were soon dominating the air.

Dimlott, laying on his back, had a "worm's-eye view" of the truck's tailgate. A head appeared over the edge and tentatively looked down at the wounded reporter. Ralph saw the man turn and look towards the front of the truck and say something in French. Two more heads joined the first and looked down at Ralph. One of the doors opened and footsteps crunched their way down the gravel roadside to the back of the truck.

A Frenchman in a hodge-podge of German military apparel squatted down to talk to Dimlott. From a distance, in the dark, the man could be mistaken for a German but up close it was obvious he was French. He seemed amused and indifferent as he gazed at Ralph. After a moment he said in very bad German, "General Grazi ordered us to take you wherever you wish to go".

"I want you to take me AND my crate to the village of Pesmes", Dimlott replied.

"Very well", replied the Frenchman. He waved his arms and barked some orders at the men in the bed of the truck as he got back into the driver's seat. The men in the back enthusiastically pitched themselves over the sides and rushed to the crate. Together, they bent at the knees and lifted it off of the ground. Cursing in French - of course - and huffing and puffing, they eventually got the wooden box onto the rear of the truck. The springs squealed as they adjusted to the increase in weight but they seemed to hold up.

In quick succession the three partisans jumped back onto the truck bed and closed the tailgate. The most "senior" one thumped the roof of the cab and the truck lurched forward. It rolled a few feet and then the transmission wailed - skipped - then ground itself into second gear. The truck ambled away down the dark road.

Dumbfounded, Dimlott just stared at the fading engine noise with his mouth open. The darkness had just swallowed the truck when Ralph heard it brake and come to a stop. A door slammed and an argument in French ensued. It went back and forth for a minute and then the door slammed again. The engine revved and spasmed itself into reverse gear. It got back to Ralph and came to a stop. The driver reappeared and crossly addressed the men in the back of the truck while pointing to Dimlott. The partisans jumped out and all four men picked him up and put him in the back of the rickety old Peugot...

[To be Continued]
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Old 04-08-2012, 09:56 AM #45
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A New Beginning - Part #4

The truck bed was tiny. There was just enough room for Ralph to sit with his back against the rear of the cab and his heals resting against the tailgate. His crate of gold was on the floor right next to him while his three "escorts" sat on tiny "shelves" that ran along the sides. As the truck shuddered into first gear Dimlott and the other passengers warily regarded each other.

The Frenchmen began to talk rapidly to each other. From the way they pointed at him and the crate it was obvious they were discussing Ralph and the gold. Dimlott didn't speak French very well - especially the remote country dialects.

The leader of the three - his name was Maurice - told them to forget about the gold. Grazi ordered them to guard the newsman and his belongings until they reached their destination.

The other two men - Huques and Phillipe' - said they would follow their orders but felt Dimlott would die before they reached Pesmes and then the gold would be up for grabs.

The truck hit a rut in the dirt road and lurched badly towards the passenger side before slamming itself back onto an even keel. The bump tossed all the passengers several inches into the air causing them all to crash back onto their backsides. Intense pain shot up Ralph's legs and he howled in frustration at being unable to do anything about it. However, when a gold bar suddenly plopped down onto the floor Dimlott forgot all about his pain. The chunk of metal did not come from the crate so it had to have been knocked loose from a person in the truck during the bump.

The funny thing was, Marice, Huques, and Phillipe' seemed oblivious to the heavy, shiny, metallic brick that loudly thumped onto the floor. They were all innocently looking off into the distance.

Ralph casually flipped open the crate next to him and saw there were now four empty slots. Three bars had been removed after Grazi' took his and the reporter knew it had happened when the truck first drove away. Dimlott picked up the unnoticed, miraculously appearing gold nugget. Still no reaction from his fellow passengers

"Um, excuse me guys", he said holding out the bar to them. "Have any of you seen any more of these lying around the truck? I seem to be missing a couple". Three blank faces looked back at Ralph. "What is gold?", they seemed to ask. His temper starting to boil, Dimlott turned and tapped the driver - Henri' - on the shoulder through the glassless rear window. "Oui'?", he replied.

Ralph didn't answer him so Henri' just kept driving but a moment later he felt the tap again and looked over his shoulder. He saw Dimlott holding a tiny pistol to his own temple with his right hand. It took a moment for the driver to realize what he was looking at but he slammed on the brakes as soon as he figured it out.

"What the hell are you doing?", Henri' cried.

"I want my money", Ralph deadpanned back.

The Frenchman was caught off guard and it took him a couple of tries to grip the door handle. He rushed outside and scrambled to the back of the truck. "What are you talking about?".

Ralph held up the gold bar and said "Two of these are missing from the crate. If I don't get em' back right now I'm going to put an end to this mission immediately and spoil the good name of Grazi!"

Henri' got red in the face and started barking at the other three Frenchmen to get out of the truck. He grabbed Phillipe' and Huques each by an earlobe and led them a few feet from the truck. Maurice glumly followed on his own.

There was much yelling and berating in French that Ralph couldn't understand. Some words he grasped like "Grazi", "le' Woo", and "Viva la France" but not much of the rest. He even heard a slap or two and then the group shuffled back to the truck with their heads down. Henri' dropped two gold bars onto the bed of the truck.

"Please forgive them, these are desperate times. They are sorry they tried to take your gold but they felt you have so much you wouldn't miss what they took. They say they were going to give one bar to a French orphanage, one bar to the resistance, and the last bar was to be divided into four pieces among ourselves so we can feed our families".

Ralph looked at the men who were now shamefully muttering an apology in French he couldn't understand. In their shoes he probably would have tried the same thing. In fact, he knew he would have. Cracking a slight smile, he handed a bar back to Henri' and said "The French can take care of their own, that's not MY problem. However, the four of you can split that up as a tip for getting me to Pesmes. Now let's get going before my legs rot off".

[To be Continued]
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Old 04-08-2012, 12:54 PM #46
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When they reached the office Eldon, Big John and Travis went off into the back room to take care of some business. Deadpool left them to their devices as he had someone to meet. With that he walked downstairs and headed out of the undergrounds tunnels.

Eldon made sure he had plenty of ways out of the office so prying eyes couldn’t keep track of his every move. With Eldon being as tricky as he was, people definitely wanted to keep an eye on him.

After about 25 minutes the tunnel came to an end. Deadpool looked up and saw a trap door. He pushed up the trap door and warily poked his head out. He noticed nothing in the barn but a few cows in some pens. He pulled himself up and headed for the barn door.

Quietly he opened the door and looked around. It was dusk and a fog had rolled in so he couldn’t see far. He bolted out the door and headed for rusted old sedan about 300 yards from the barn.

He sprinted to the back of the sedan and crouched down scanning the area. He could see the back of a small house about 100 yards from the sedan. Next to the house he saw a motorbike leaning against it.

He ran over and grabbed the motorbike hoping it would start. He jumped on and attempted to kick start it. The motor coughed each time he hit the kick start. Deadpool was afraid the occupant of the house would be alerted to the sound and come out to confront him. On the 5th try the motor kicked over and he revved the gas.

Just then he heard the front door swing open. He popped the motorbike into gear and took off towards the street. As he turned the corner at the end of the driveway he could see the silhouette of a man standing in the front yard. The man was gesturing wildly and he couldn’t make out what he was saying. Deadpool figured, he was probably cursing at him in French about the fact he just stole the man’s bike.

No matter, right now he couldn’t be worried about that. He had someone to meet. Not to mention the fact there most likely would be Germans all along the main route to his meeting place.

Luckily he knew a few back roads that would be much less traveled. It would just make the trip a little bit longer. Those roads were also not as smooth as the main roads. He wasn’t sure if the motor bike could handle them.

For the first few miles Deadpool saw nothing but the occasional passing motorist and farm animals. None of the other motorists paid any attention to him. Suddenly he could hear in the distance the distinctive sound of a German troop transport heading towards him.

Deadpool knew he would have to get off the road. If they noticed him they would certainly stop him and ask questions. While the Germans usually didn’t give Eldon much trouble he doubted they would pay him the same courtesy.
He could hope that in the growing darkness they might not notice he was driving the motorbike and pass it off as just a Frenchman out for a ride but he couldn’t take that chance.

Deadpool noticed a hedgerow off on the right and headed straight for it. Once behind the hedgerow he shut the bike of and crouched down waiting for the transport to pass. After about 20 seconds the transport and a few other cars he had noticed went straight by.

Deadpool waited for about a minute after the sound of all the vehicles had passed before kickstarting the motorbike and riding off.

For the rest of his trip he saw no one. The back roads turned out to be deserted just like he thought they would be. Still, while there was nobody around to possibly stop him, the ride was not uneventful. A few times he thought the bike was going to fall apart from all the jostling. Luckily it held together and he finally reached his destination.

The fog had lifted and he could see a small cottage and garage in front of him. He noticed no lights on in the house but he could see a light on in the garage. He headed over to the garage.

Deadpool peaked in the window and could see the hood up on a truck and Le Woo asleep in a chair. He chuckled to himself thinking, “Every time I come to see him he is always asleep and I have to wake him up. He sleeps so much, he should have been a general in the Mexican Army not the French ”.

Deadpool, turned the handle on the door and quietly pushed the door open. He walked over to where Le Woo was sleeping and gently shook him to wake him up. Le Woo shuffled in the chair and mumbled “No Marie I can’t some back to bed now. The army and my men need me”. “Poor chap” thought Deadpool, still thinks reliving his glory days.

Deadpool, then shook Le Woo again and called “Le Woo” until he started to wake. The groggy Le Woo started to come around. As he opened his eyes he notice Deadpool standing in front of him. Life sprang into him and he immediately jumped out of the chair and shouted “Mon Ami Deadpool, How are you?”

“I am well Le woo”

“So what brings you to my residence this time of the evening?” Le Woo asked

“I have a few questions about Ralph Dimlott, I would like to ask”

Le Woo suddenly got a concerned look on his face.

In a reserved almost inquisitive tone Le Woo asked “What is you want to know?”

Deadpool then went on to explain how earlier in the day they had met up with Ralph and Eldon gave him a fortune in gold, explaining they were now even.

“So why would Eldon give Ralph so much gold when all he does is print lies about us and what does he mean we’re even?”

“I don’t know?” Le Woo said hoping to end this part of the conversation.

“Come on Le Woo, you of all people would know. I understand you’re not leading the French Army anymore but you still have connections on all sides of this war. Not to mention you used to be quite close to Ralph before things went south. Surely, if anybody would know why Eldon is paying off Ralph it is you. I know you aren’t that out of the loop.”

With a quiver in his voice Le Woo said “I’m sorry I don’t know”

Deadpool could tell Le Woo knew more than he was willing to divulge.

Deadpool pressed again “You know something. What is it?”

“I can’t it’s too horrific” his voice still quivering.

“Please Le Woo, it is important I find out. What did Ralph have over Eldon that he would pay him off?”

“No, No, No. The details are just too gruesome. I promised I wouldn’t say”

“Say what?”

Le Woo shook his head in a disgusted manner. “You don’t understand what you are asking me to tell”

“Woo, please, you and I both know Ralph changed a few years ago after something happened. I need to know what happened. I don’t trust he will leave Tyrell alone. I need to know before Ralph does more damage to us. “

Le Woo shook his head reserved to the fact he knew he had to tell. “Ok I’ll tell you did not hear it from me. If Ralph finds out I told you of all people, he will probably have me shot on sight by one of his friends”

Deadpool knew this was going to be good and waited for Le Woo to tell him. The anticipation was killing him.

Next: The Gruesome Details
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Old 04-13-2012, 10:51 AM #47
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Old 04-14-2012, 06:01 PM #48
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Goose---"Grumbles quietly to himself"...Demy..Vite Rabbit a word please.

The "Queen" smacks Donnie in the head.."Come on he demands our audience"

The three huddle up as Grazi's men look on in wonder of what they are planning just as an argument erupts and they observe Donnie slamming a table and throwing the Queens research against the wall. He screams something so incoherent that it could only be described as a mix of English German and what may have been Italian they thought.

The Queen quickly gathered up the pieces of the tattered book and asked to be excused, Grazi's men oblige her request and lead her to another room.

Monsieur please contact your Command or Leader or whatever..We three need some time to sort this out. We need to see my friend the Himan in Belgium. Can you make this happen? Can you get us there safely please?

Please was not a word the Reichsmarschall used generously and it burned his mouth to say it and sound genuine. He appeared to even choke on the word ever so lightly. Donnie's ears even perked up as fear ran across his eyes upon hearing it. His eyes quickly grabbed the guards in a gaze that screamed just do it for the love of god please fill his request.

We will have to radio it in sir, you can understand. You're free to leave anytime as you are here as friends, but crossing into Belgium will take some work to do safely. Said the guard softly but firmly.

But of course bekannter do as you must. In the meantime may we have some of this fine French cuisine I hear so much about?

At this point poor Donnie is wishing that Demy could hear all this..is this the Hatter or the Reichsmarschall speaking so gently and polite??? What is the endgame here!

All we have sir, is C-Rations we sto...err liberated from a US vessel will they do?

Better than nothing I guess, thank you, says the MH (?)

Donnie at this point passes out form pure shock...

What's the matter with him asks the guard..?

Who him, that will be dealt with later..let's eat come join me.

The men sit to dine on what appeared to be cheese in a can...they all laugh at the novelty.

Hearing the laughter, Demy walks in an proclaims "What's a girl got to do for a drink around here"?

...............
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Old 04-23-2012, 07:01 PM #49
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Update to the Queen,
I have dropped into the rabbit hole answering the Queen’s call. Upon arrival in wonderland I drank a potion and saw the house growing to large around me. Once small I met with the Queen of Hearts, Mad Hatter, and Cheshire Cat. They all explained the urgent need for tea and crumpets for the Queen of Hearts Croquet party. On my way to the Mad Hatters house I ran into the Jabberwocky and hid amongst the carriages of the night. After I evaded the Bandersnatch I arrived upon a dove to the church on the hill where the roses truly proved to be red for the Queen.

“White Rabbit”
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Old 04-23-2012, 07:13 PM #50
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I remember this day..... Donny jumped from the plane with hatred deep in his heart for the plague that has swept through France. Once his feet were firmly planted on our soil he took in the sights and saw just how bad things had become. The resistance had grown week and was in desperate need of weapons and ammunition. The invading force almost captured him but he hid in a Hearst along side the recently deceased to avoid detection. After our meeting he sought out his connections for help and they truly came through for us.
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Old 04-28-2012, 10:24 AM #51
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It has been nearly a year since the great beast was conned by the ever treacherous Pope Mariol and it still stung at his conscious. Blinded by a moment of deep reflection into his past the yeti had came to the realization that his deeds of the past were behind him and he had yearned to forge peaceful relations with those that visit his lands. He realized now that these thoughts had made him vulnerable to his old adversary and the ever cunning Mariol had made the most of his opportunity.

He would not make the same mistake again.
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Old 04-29-2012, 07:38 PM #52
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Chapitre 3

Les unités aéroportées ont disparu sous une formation approfondie pour au moins un an. Stationné dans le Wiltshire, en Angleterre depuis Septembre, le temps est venu. L'invasion de la Normandie et l'Europe continentale est bientôt commencer. Société Baker et le reste du 506ème ont été poussés à la RAF Upottery, Devon. Avec d'autres Américains, les troupes du Commonwealth et la France Libre, la compagnie Baker va sauter en Normandie.

Le sous-lieutenant Neil Wilkinson commande un peloton de la Compagnie Baker. Il commande une variété d'hommes, d'horizons divers. Haut Commandement a attribué un adjudant-britannique à lui, également un parachutiste expérimenté. Les hommes des divisions aéroportées ont préparé pour la bataille déjà, mais les conditions météorologiques les retarder pendant vingt-quatre heures. Il est temps de l'attendre dehors et de faire part de vos camarades, il n'y a rien d'autre à faire. Les hommes sont encouragés par des lettres et des messages radio de commandement, les chefs de peloton et des capitaines d'entreprises encouragent leurs hommes, les hommes écrivent leur testament. Le C-47 sont prêts, les planeurs liée à leurs transports. En quelques heures, un tapis de troupes aéroportées seront débarquer en Normandie, et doit saisir les chaussées et ponts.

Pour le lieutenant Neil les quelques heures entre la goutte et se renforcent pourrait signifier l'effacement de son peloton, il pensait à combien pourraient mourir, comment ils pourraient mourir, mais le mettre hors de sa tête, c'était son travail pour être au calme. Comme il marchait au milieu de ses hommes, il a observé les emballer et a contribué à quelques-uns qui ont oublié quelque chose ou emballés tort. Beaucoup d'hommes, où bonne humeur, prêt à prendre la lutte pour les Allemands, d'autres étaient sérieux et a agi comme leur seul but était maintenant de tuer l'ennemi, mais ils avaient tous une chose en commun, ils ont tous pensé à ce qui pourrait arriver et le plus accepté. Le grondement de quelques-uns des C47s signalé l'Opération commençait à démarrer, les hommes seraient lancés en l'air et finalement revenir vers le bas sur la France, face à un ennemi qui étaient tout aussi prêts, mais ne sais pas de la marée montante.

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Old 05-01-2012, 12:39 PM #53
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SHAGGY, my old friend how are you?
Ngaya," Please good sir, much has happened since I left this continent and went to the Far East... I am know known as Dr. Ngaya Shaggymoto. The on loan zoologist to the Berlin Zoo from the Emperor. It's good to visit home.. I miss my comrades so much.. But I can't wait to go back and resume my position at the Tokyo zoo and take care of Pazzy.."
I look at Shag I mean Dr. Shaggymoto and I know he isn't being honest with me on his return to Europe. First off we are in Paris, not Berlin. "Good Dr. Shag, yes Dr. Shag is what I will call you know since you have returned home. What has happened to you my old friend, why have you switched loyalty to our allies the japanese? What I have heard through the rumor mill was you defiled to young aristocratic buys thinking they where girls? You where sentenced to hard labor with a execution date to be set at a later time? How did you get out of this punishment? By the way welcome home. It is good to be home? My niece has been a little worried about you since you left, her husband to.. There pet Juggy has missed his caretaker since you have been detained in Japan... My father ..."
"one question at a time please my lord" Dr. Shag says.. "The rumors are true, I was a little, well a lot of Saki was in me.. I was walking back to the jugernauts barracks, when what I thought was two young girls playing outside this really big building. I went to go talk to them, I gave them my best lines to no prevail.. Went to go give them a hug and while having them in my grasp they started screaming for help. Next thing I was surronded by guards of these young boys.. They took me before there father, hence it was the Emperor, the Emperor I tell you. the sentence he gave me scared the heck out of me... You ever here the storied of those japanese prisons.. Just then, one of the Emperors Aides rushed in and said there was something wrong with his children's pet. I told the emperor I could help I was a zoologist, I knew lots about pets, but it went ignored.. They drug me to my cage and threw me in.. A little later the Emperor came to my cage and asked if I was truly a zoologist and could save his childrens pet I would be given a full pardon. I didn't hesitate at the chance to get out of my sentence. When I arrived to help there pet it was a Giant Panda.. Ahh Pazzy, he's so cute... Anyway, he was suffocating, I did all I could and eventually giving the panda the himelic, one of the childs toy goose's flew out Pazzy's mouth and he was able to breath again.. The Emperor was so thankful and released me.. He offered me the head zoologist at the tokyo Zoo. Who could decline such a divine offer from a divine man.. That's pretty much why I stayed in Japan. Upon the Emperor's request.. I love it there, but I was really home sick to. That special offer from your father arrived, on the special ambassador to see the situation in France and see where the Japanese could help.. Without any hesitation I offered to go.. He declined at first thinking this was my escape from them. But i swore an oath of blood to him and forever swore loyalty to his land of the rising sun.. So we our good.. I miss Pazzy though, he's such a cute panda bear
So Mike and Vicki where worried about me huh. I missed all my friends of state. So how goes there new venture they where given as a wedding present by the Fuhrer and your Father?"
Well as most know, last July my Niece and now nephew in law where married by Pope Mariol. A humble title and area of Germany was bestowed on them by my Father CP William and the fuhrer. The title you ask? Baron and Baroness of Bavaria!!! Bavaria as you might of all ready guessed was the area, lol.
"Dr. Shag, that venture they started taking over all the brewery in that area has made them and my family a fortune. Whats one of the biggest ways to influence things in Germany? You got it, having control of all that BEER!!! It's very influental with the higher ups and usually helps us get what we want and need. She was also given a present my her hubby, an army.. An army that is mobilizing to defend France from the Allied horde preparing to cross the Atlantic and destroy this beautifal land."
Dr. Shag," That's wonderful to hear, wait who is this?"
Madam Tinkle had now entered the room," My lord, your niece has asked for Dr. Shaggymoto's and your presence at a banquet in the honor of Dr. Shaggymoto's return home."
"Madam Tinkle, please advise my niece that both Dr. Shag and I accept."
Madam Tinkle leaves the room and Dr. Shag looks at me," Who was that???She doesn't look German?"
"That was my nieces personal fortune teller, she was sent to us by our cousins in the other HOH in Romania. Yes Dr. Shag, she is a gypsy. Jezebel since a very young age has always been into the occult, supernatural, all that freaky stuff. So as a present for her wedding, they where sent three Gypsy girls, to serve her in all her needs. Whatever she asks.. Madam tinkle comes from a long line of fortune tellers, she's very good at what she does and serves my niece well. Oh, there's also Jinx, Madam Tinkle's sister and protetor, and Mrs. Special K, Jez's tutor on all stuff on the undead, supernatural, blah blah blah.."
"That's a little creepy?" says Dr. Shag with a concerned look.
"Nothing to worry about my old friend, it's all good!!!" i said..
It was getting late and we needed to get ready for the Dr. Shag reception..
"Oh Count.." Dr. Shag had one little tid bit of information to inform me of," That other request you asked the emperor for to hunt something down and try to deal with them or destroy it has set sail.."

WONDERFUL!!!!
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Old 05-01-2012, 05:42 PM #54
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A New Beginning - Part #5

With its latest uproar subsided the ancient rustbucket of a vehicle continued on its way to the village of Pesmes. The passengers settled down as they meandered past sleepy farms and followed the dirt road East. The gold bar offered up by Ralph to his...escorts...had eased tensions quite a bit. However, the real "ice breaker" was the bottle of French wine Maurice began passing around.

The bottle was handed to Dimlott after the three Frenchmen had taken their swigs. He looked back at the three soiled faces - particularly the mouths - and hesitated with the bottle halfway to his lips. "How often have these guys been able to brush their teeth living out here?", the reporter thought to himself. The truck hit a large bump as he pondered this and the jarring motion sent a huge wave of pain up both his legs. Ralph gritted his teeth and growled in agony.

The pain faded back down to the normal level of "merely being gunshot" after a few moments. Having sympathy for his discomfort the Frenchmen again urged Ralph to drink some wine. He raised the bottle with both hands but his weakness and the shaking of the ancient truck caused him to spill a good amount of it on his face. He even got some up his nose and began coughing. His fellow passengers slapped him on the back and said a cheer! They were in a celebratory mood following their successful attack on the German garrison and Ralph's generous "tip".

The wine bottle circled around a few more times and it did indeed take the edge off of the pain Dimlott was battling. His body was also going into shock - he could feel it. He was becoming more detached from what was going on around him. A mental "numbness" made him feel like he was watching a movie of himself rather than experiencing events firsthand. His body's own biological defense mechanism against pain and trauma was taking over. The conversation the Frenchmen were having sounded like it was in another room.

Ralph looked down at the crate of gold beside him. He kept opening the lid and checking the number of bars inside. He thought he might have blacked out a time or two - especially on the bigger bumps - and he knew the present company were extreme opportunists. So far though, the remaining gold was untouched.

The "gap" left by the two missing bars in the gleaming array of metal ingots obsessed Dimlott. He lightly touched the void over and over with shaking fingers like he was exploring an empty tooth socket with his tongue. After a while Ralph sighed and closed the box while looking down at his legs.

"What a mess", he thought to himself. No major arteries or veins were hit. No bones were broken. However, the pain was excruciating and was going to get worse until the reporter received medical attention and antibiotics.

"Eldon was right", Ralph said to himself. "He did save my life. That nutjob DEADPOOL was gonna pull the trigger in another second. Ironically, the businessman managed to honor the deal and get his "closure" at the same time".

Thinking about it some more gave Dimlott pause. Was the fact that one moment he was riding in a limited edition Rolls Royce with a crate of gold, drinking the finest scotch, and smoking an exquisite cigar; and the next he is writhing in agony in the back of a manure wagon with a bunch of thieves drinking cheap wine all due to the machinations of A. Eldon Tyrell!?

It was certainly possible...but it was just speculation. What Ralph knew for sure was that the decreasing number of gold bars in his crate was due to one man - DEADPOOL. If that guy had had an ounce of self control things would be different. When Dimlott got back on his feet, so to speak, he just might track the psycho down and collect his debt from him...

Next chapter: Generals and Majors
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Old 05-01-2012, 11:08 PM #55
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The Gruesome Details:

Deadpool stood there waiting for Le Woo to tell him what he knew about Ralph.

Le Woo looked concerned and was still hoping he could somehow get out of this situation.

So what is the deal with Ralph and Eldon?” Deadpool asked trying to move this along.

“I really don’t feel comfortable telling you. I know you and Ralph were not the best of friends” Le Woo said with concern.

“Look Woo you and I know Eldon wouldn’t pay off anyone let alone someone like Ralph unless hell had frozen over. Now I don’t trust that even though Eldon paid him a fortune in gold that Ralph will leave Tyrell alone. I need to know what happened so I can make sure Ralph doesn’t continue to try and destroy the company.” Deadpool said with an exasperated tone. He was getting tired of Woo’s stalling tactics.

“Ok, ok but this isn’t easy. Just thinking about what happened makes me shiver” Woo said with a frightened look.

“Do you remember what happened to Carter a few years ago?” Woo asked

“How can I forget? He was molested by the Yeti” Deadpool said with dismay
“Well he wasn’t the only one your horrible Yeti-Off(Woo spits at the ground) caused to be molested that night”

“Hey now, there was nothing wrong with Yeti-Off. All you had to do was read the instructions” Deadpool retorted.

“Ahhh pure garbage” a disgusted Woo said

“Alright, I don’t want to argue about Yeti-Off. I came here to find out what the deal is with Ralph. So, can you finish telling me what happened to him” Deadpool said.

“Very well. As I was saying Carter wasn’t the only one molested by the Yeti that night. Ralph also had a run in with the Yeti.

A few hours after the Diplomatic Reception he came stumbling into our campsite babbling incoherently with his clothes torn up. We attempted to calm him down but had no luck. Eventually he just started yelling over and over again, “Tyrell, you will pay for this”. He kept yelling it for about 20-30 minutes until he fell asleep.

After he woke up in the morning he told us what happened. Seems he decided to go into the woods to try and get video of the Yeti for a report he was working on with Warthog. He said he took the precaution of putting on Yeti-Off. He figured the Yeti-Off would keep the Yeti from attacking him. Instead the Yeti grabbed him, hauled him off and then proceeded to molest him for what Ralph said seemed like forever. Eventually the Yeti stopped and Ralph was able to escape.

Once Ralph was done telling us what happened he vowed to make Tyrell pay for what happened to him and for peddling that garbage, Yeti-Off. You could see the hatred in Ralph’s eyes when he mentioned Eldon’s name. I tell you, that experience changed Ralph. He became cold and vengeful”

“I’m sorry that Ralph was molested but I don’t believe Yet-Off was the reason he was attacked." Deadpool said.

Woo scoffs and spits at the ground.

"Do you think now that Eldon has paid Ralph off he will leave Tyrell alone?" Deadpool asked

“I can’t say. If you saw the look in Ralph’s eyes that day when he mentioned Eldon’s name you would have thought he wanted him dead.” Woo explained.

“Damn, Ralph sounds like a loose cannon that could go off at any moment” Deadpool said with a worried tone.

“It is possible. As I said Ralph changed that night and who knows what he would do now” said Woo

Well, thanks for the info Woo. I need to see what Ralph is up to now. I have to make sure he doesn’t try anything else, like attempting to kill Eldon” Deadpool said.

With that Deadpool left Lew Woo and headed back to Tyrell’s French office.
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Old 05-02-2012, 01:12 AM #56
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Originally Posted by The Yeti lives View Post
It has been nearly a year since the great beast was conned by the ever treacherous Pope Mariol and it still stung at his conscious. Blinded by a moment of deep reflection into his past the yeti had came to the realization that his deeds of the past were behind him and he had yearned to forge peaceful relations with those that visit his lands. He realized now that these thoughts had made him vulnerable to his old adversary and the ever cunning Mariol had made the most of his opportunity.

He would not make the same mistake again.
Wait! Weren't you Da Honey Badger like just a month ago?

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Old 05-02-2012, 07:01 PM #57
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Generals and Majors - Part 1

Right before dawn the little truck came to a stop at a spot where trees overcame the fields and the forest began. The last farm it drove past was miles behind it. Birds were calling and the sky had turned from black to light purple. It was still quite dark under the trees.

Dimlott , who had been dozing, awoke feeling the effects of his wounds, shock, and fatigue. He was in a fog and his mind was processing what was going on around him at half speed. He had no idea where he was or why the truck had stopped. He looked at Maurice, Phillipe', and Huques who were in the back of the truck with him. All three men were huddling against the tailgate blissfully asleep and snoring. Phillipe' and Huques had even begun "spooning" at some point as the night got colder. The truck door opened and the hinges squeaked. Ralph heard Henri' walk to the back of the truck and saw his head appear above the side.

The man looked down at the snoozing escorts and contorted his face in anger and disgust. He ripped off his cap and began whipping Ralph's guardians awake with it screaming French profanities. All three entangled themselves in a knot and then miraculously popped out of the truck bed individually in seconds. Henri' glared at them a moment and then with much waving of his hands he barked out orders that prompted Maurice to drop the tailgate and all three Frenchmen moved Dimlott as gently as they could to the passenger seat.

Ralph protested and resisted the whole time never taking his eyes off of the crate. Henri' pointed at the road and tried to explain to Ralph that they were about to climb a very steep section and he would be much more comfortable with his back resting on the seat cushion rather than facing downhill in the bed of the truck. In the end after much bickering, Dimlott was returned to the rear with his back resting on the tailgate and the crate alongside him.

The dirt road ahead proceeded to follow a ridge that rapidly elevated itself to the top of Montmartre - a hill that rose130 meters (426.5') above sea level just outside Paris. The incline was so sharp and extended for such a long distance the truck would not make it with everyone riding in it - it was too much weight. As it was, the crate of gold was so heavy Phillipe' and Huques were going to walk behind the truck and assist it by physically pushing it uphill. Maurice was instructed to get to the top as quickly as he could on foot and alert the French Freedom Fighters up there to prepare the aircraft for takeoff. The truck would arrive an hour or so behind him and it had to be ready to fly moments later. Maurice immediately began trotting up the hill.

Dimlott tried to follow what Henri' was saying and didn't do too badly considering his condition. He licked his lips a couple of times and asked in a dry voice "Aircraft?".

Henri' nodded and excitedly replied "Oui'"!

"At the top of this hill?", Ralph asked.

"Oui!", Henri' answered with even more enthusiasm.

"Great", Ralph said morosely as the truck ground itself into first gear and began vibrating its way up Montmartre under the rising sun...

To be continued...
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Old 05-03-2012, 12:28 AM #58
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Old 05-05-2012, 12:22 PM #59
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Generals and Majors - Part 2

The harrowing climb up Montmartre was a life changing experience for Ralph. Of all the trials and tribulations he'd been though over the last couple of years - including Yetties, torture, and gunshots - the trip up the hill with the French was the most unnerving. Riding in the truck on a level surface was "taking your life in your hands" as it was, but trying to climb the steep washed-out rut the French were calling a dirt road in it was a death wish!

Where did Phillipe' and Huques get the courage to walk behind the crappy Peugot and push it uphill? They must be mad! Not only could the truck slip and roll backwards over them but the tires were spinning and shooting plumes of dirt and rocks into their faces. Henri' was shouting and grinding the transmission. An occasional gear tooth would snap off and the jagged piece of metal would shoot through the body of the truck into the woods like shrapnel. The two men pushing the truck coughed on exhaust fumes and stumbled at times but they never gave up.

The trees grew up and over the trail forming a green leafy tunnel. Now that the sun had risen the leaves had that fresh glowing jade color of early spring. The small bits of sky that Dimlott could see through the canopy was a cloudless brilliant blue. Ralph was looking skyward quite often as he was arching his head backwards in pain with each violent lurch of the truck. It seemed like it took many hours to get fifty yards from the top.

The reporter knew they were close because the forest ended up ahead and he could see a bright opening in the foliage where the trail exited the woods. The steepness of the hill decreased and the rest of the distance to the crest was a gentle slope. Too tired to get back in the truck when it no longer needed them to push, Philippe' and Huques watched it slowly putt away from them as it cleared the trees.

On the top of the hill was a large meadow with some structures on it - a small house, a tool shed, a work shop, and a very large barn. The barn was at the peak of the hill away from all the other buildings. Henri' drove the truck in that direction when he spotted Maurice waving him to come. Taking all this in, Ralph asked himself , "Why put an aircraft here? There's nowhere to land"!

Henri' got out of the truck and stretched. "Hell of a ride, eh Monsieur Dimlott"? He noticed Ralph's condition was considerably worse and the Frenchman immediately got serious and began moving faster. While urgently beckoning Maurice to help him move Dimlott into the barn he told Ralph, "Good news my friend, Pesmes is only an hour away. And even better, a fellow German will assist you the rest of the way".

Ralph was carried into the barn and placed on a broken down bench seat that had been removed from an old truck. The Frenchmen were back moments later with the crate of gold. The two of them grunted and struggled mightily with it, exhaling loudly when they dropped it next to the bench seat.

After catching his breath Henri' lifted the lid and assisted Ralph in raising his head so he could inventory his gold. Everything seemed OK and the reporter nodded and laid back down as the box was closed. Henri' stood up and said "Au revoir - good luck with the rest of your journey. Grazi's honor is intact. Be sure to see him in the future about doing some reporting "for the French". Your new escort will be with you shortly". Feverish and dehydrated, Ralph barely managed a slight wave of the hand goodbye as the Frenchmen walked away.

In the fog of his growing delirium Ralph was unsure how long he laid there before he heard a voice say "Ahhh, Herr Dimlot! How nice to see you again"! The odd voice did indeed seem familiar and the PVN correspondent slowly turned his head in its direction. Ralph instantly recognized the man and recalled meeting him once before but was still surprised to see him. All he could say in a croaking voice was "Wha...whats' your........story"?, and he passed out.

Ralph's new escort cackled and replied "Always being a reporter, eh Dimlott'? Holding up a picture of when they first met he said "You'll have quite a story when this is over!"...



To be continued...
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Old 05-05-2012, 05:07 PM #60
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Err I see my brother is hard at work and I see my money was well spent getting the Reichsmarschall to safety. Too bad XXXX shooter was not as good as they said.

The contract was a place and time. Both have now expired and the intel has been sold. May the gods have mercy on the soul that paid to kill him. Their failure will be his triumph I fear and anticipate.

Invest now in the future minions and dig deeply!
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Old 05-06-2012, 12:08 PM #61
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Count Von Lingen's Journal- Her present

Dr. Shag had just left.. Dr. Shag... HAHAHA!!! I can't believe he is back in the picture. I thought the Japanese Emperor didn't have a soft spot. Was i ever wrong. Glad to see he is doing so well, but I need to get ready for the banquet my niece is holding in his honor.. Slipshod, get my tux ready, we have a banquet to attend.

Later that evening....

The banquet is in full swing.. Jez and Crapgame have put on one heck of a shindig here. The best french cuisine, the best french champagne, great music. The ODL knows how to out on one great party.. Dr. Shag looks like he is really enjoying himself.. Well at least here he can tell the diffrence between the boy and girl gender, lol.
I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and it is my niece Mistress Killer, or as most know her, Jezebel.
"Uncle, are you having a good time at the banquet?" Jez asks.
"Oh Jez, you and your hubby have out done yourself this time. Dr. Shag looks most impressed. That is good, we need his new homes help. Especially hunting down that little faction of curiousity we have about the FLN. And seeing where there loyalty lies." I replied.
"How was your day? Did you find what you where looking for on your shopping excursion?" As most know, this July will be the one year anniversary of the union of my niece jez and her newlywed husband, Mr. Holt, I mean Baron Von Bavaria..
Jez looked at me with very much concern in her reflection." It was good, didn't find yet what I was looking for in an anniversary gift.. He's so hard to shop for, plus the trip had a little hiccup and I had to end the trip early.?
"A little hickup?" I replied.
"Yeah there was an attempted assasination on me today at market."
"An attempted assasination? Why am I just hearing about this now?"
"Uncle, those presents from our relation in Romania are more then just fortune tellers and supernatural experts. They our my personal security as well and made short work of the eight assasins who attempted taking me out" Jez says unconcerned.
"Eight assasins? Personal security? I am glad your are ok, I knew they would protect you well!" the Count smiles.
"Uncle, what have you not told me about my three gypsys? Did you know they where more than just supernatural experts? Please explain, I am so confused?" Jez sits down so I can explain more to her, plus she is a little woozy from all the champagne she has consumed.
"Our cousin King Michael of Romania.. He knew you would need all the protection you could here in France. Or so Madam Tinkle told him. So he contacted me, and explained what the Madam had scene in your future. I was very concerned along with Michael. So he wanted to give you a gift, we talked about it, and figured out a way to help protect you better. We decieded the three gypsy sisters where the best protection and you would welcome with open arms if we told you they where to educate you in the underworld of Romania. I know your interest in that stuff, I knew it would work, and they would risk it all to protect you."
Jez looked even more intrigued," Please tell me more? What our they really?
"Well, they are from this covenant in Romania, in a providence in that land known as Transylvania. Madam Tinkle is not only a fortune teller, she is a descendent of the house of Dragul, if you get my drift, Jinx is not only Madam Tinkle's protector, she is a hunter I guess you could say, and Mrs. Special K is not only a teacher in the supernatural, she is a witch... If you understand what I am saying.."
Jez's look went from concern to excitement and relief. "Well i understand now how they disposed of those assasins so easy. I was very scared when Tinkle shoved me down and caught that arrow in her hand. How did she do that? I know why now. All Mrs. Special K did was look at them, and they all fell to there needs, holding there head like it was ready to explode, screaming in pain they where.. And out of nowhere, Jinx was armed, and cut off there heads with that sword she had stashed away. Nice attempt by whoever sent them... But epic fail!!!"
"Thats a very good question? Who sent them? I wonder if what I heard is true? Can't be. He's dead?"

To be continued............
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Old 05-06-2012, 05:52 PM #62
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Generals and Majors - Part 3

Dimlott regained consciousness while his new companion was placing a cool damp cloth on his forehead. "You have a high fever and your leg wounds are infected", he said. He placed two fingers on the reporter's wrist to take his pulse. Holding a glass of water to Ralph's lips he added "Drink this; you are very dehydrated". The cold water was mana from heaven! Dimlott slowly drank the whole glass and laid back down.

The familiar stranger stood up and raised his finger in the air. "Your condition may be hindering you from recognizing me", he said. "We met at a diplomatic reception last year."

Ralph met a lot of people that night but this man certainly stood out in his memory. He was a brilliant but eccentric character prone to building incredible weapons of war - Malice Commander. If Dimlott recalled correctly, he even said he was a big fan of PVN! "Nice to see you again, Commander", Ralph gasped.

"Yes, yes", Malice replied, "But we must be on our way. I need to finish prepping the aircraft right away"." He moved out of Ralph's line of sight and could be heard talking to himself while rattling equipment and tools around. A couple of minutes later he returned with a two-wheeled dolley and maneuvered it up to the crate of gold. He then picked Dimlott up under his arms and seated him on the crate so his back rested against the dolley. Ralph felt himself being tilted backwards and then smoothly rolling towards the large open area of the barn.

The lights were off and it was dim. Dust motes drifted through the beams of sunlight penetrating the grease smeared windows on the barn door. A dull shape emerged from the gloom of the barn as the men got closer. A hint of aviation fuel was in the air just as Ralph could make out the silhouette of the aircraft. His mouth dropped open as he got a better look at it for two reasons: 1) He couldn't understand how it got here without a runway; 2) It looked less "air worthy" than the truck that brought him here.

Dimlott turned and looked at Malice Commander and asked "How did it get here?"

Standing taller with self-satisfaction Malice Commander clasped his hands behind his back and replied, "It was brought here piece by piece by the Resistance and I flawlessly re-assembled it...although I'm not sure the French brought all the parts."

"What?", Ralph asked. Do you have a pilot's license?"

Malice immediately raised both arms and mimicked holding pistols in the air. In a remarkable Pancho Villa imitation he said "License? I don't need no steenkin' license." Giggling to himself he walked to the back of the plane and lowered the short ramp built into the base of the tail.

Dimott shook his head in dismay.

Humming the "German National Anthem" Malice walked to the dolley and started wheeling it towards the plane.

Ralph began panicking and called out "Wait. Stop. Let's think about this a minute!"

"Everything will be fine, Herr Dimlott", said Malice Commander while he carted Ralph up into the cargo bay. He hauled the wounded man off of the crate and laid him down on the jump seat that folded down from the fuselage. Clicking a safety harness across Ralph's waist he turned and strapped the crate to metal rings bolted to the floor. He kind of looked like a serial killer restraining a victim while he was doing it due to his hood and body armor. This only helped to increase Dimlott's anxiety level.

With his cargo secured Malice Commander trotted down the ramp and unbolted the barn doors and opened them. He saw something downhill where the dirt road broke the forest and froze for a moment. From within the plane Ralph called out "Can't we just drive the truck to Pesmes"? Running up to the number one engine and tugging down on the propeller Commander grunted "No... we... can't", with each pull! The propeller started to slowly spin on it's own and then began to build up speed.

"Why not?" Dimlott shouted over the noise of the engine.

Looking over his shoulder out the barn door as he rushed to the number two engine Malice answered, "Because British commandos appear to have confiscated it from our French benefactors and are on their way to this barn in it"! He tugged on the propeller until it popped, belched smoke, and then fired up.

Ralph raised his head and could see out the cargo bay, through the barn doors, and onto the meadow. The truck was indeed returning and men with guns pointed at the barn were riding in it. The muzzles of the guns twinkled with little flashes and things began rattling in the barn around the plane. Malice Commander scrambled to the ramp and raised it. Within seconds he was pushing the plane so the nose was oriented towards the open doors. He jumped in the cockpit and pushed the throttle all the way forward. The quivering, dilapidated old French cargo plane began rolling downhill. The tree line was a thousand meters away. Beyond that a green valley and clear blue skies waited!

As the plane was rolling out of the barn Malice turned and looked into the small cargo bay to check on Ralph. Two rounds smashed through the windshield and more sparked off of the engine cowling. Dimlott looked up at Commander wide-eyed and cried "Will this thing be able to fly with this much weight in it?'

"With all the extra parts I had left over", Malice said pointing to a heap of metal on the floor through the port hole, "It shouldn't be a problem"! Dimlott shouted out a long string of profanities.

As the plane gained speed out of the barn and down the meadow the truck approached it from the left side about two hundred yards ahead. It looked like they would intersect in a collision unless someone blinked. Mailice Commander frantically pulled knobs, pressed buttons, flicked switches, and turned dials with one hand. He kept the other one on the throttle as far forward as it could go...

To be continued...
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Old 05-08-2012, 09:48 PM #63
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It was dark when Deadpool left Woo’s residence. The only light was the little bit of illumination that came from the moon. He knew there would be German night patrols roaming the countryside so he had to be careful.

He headed back the way he came trying to reach the underground tunnel back to Tyrell’s office. As he walked through a field all he could smell was the putrid stench of cow dung. Seems the farmers had let the cows out since he passed through last because it wasn’t this bad earlier. He hoped he would avoid stepping in the fowl stuff. Alas Deadpool didn’t get that lucky. Right after the thought of stepping in cow sh*t ran through his mind, he stepped in what felt like the biggest pile of it ever. Deadpool whispered “Oh Crap” to himself not realizing the irony of his statement.

Although he now smelled worse than a Paris sewer he continued on. He didn’t have time to worry about the smell. He just hoped once he returned to Tyrell’s French Office he could clean off his boots before Eldon noticed the smell. If he did Eldon would probably send Deadpool on some mission that most assuredly be worse than stepping in a pile of sh*t.

He headed for a hedgerow on the far side of the field. Once he reached the hedgerow he worked his way to the edge where he poked his head around the corner to survey the area as best he could in the moonlight. No sooner had he poked his head around the hedgerow when he felt the cold steel barrel of a gun poking him in the head. Deadpool’s night had gone from crappy to full on sh*tty.

“Well, well if it isn’t Tyrell hothead Deadpool. Out for a late night stroll are we?” The voice said in a heavy German accent.

When he heard the voice, right away Deadpool knew who it was. Bernstein Gerhard Rederick aka BGR or as the French affectionately referred to him as Grand Gai Rouge. Rederick was very well know in the area for his penchant for young gay Frenchmen.

Rederick was a member of the German Intelligence network the Reichssicherheitshauptamt. He originally was sent to France by the Abwer. However, when Hitler dissolved the Abwehr he just move to reporting to the Reichssicherheitshauptamt.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Big Gay Red. What brings you out tonight?” Deadpool said trying to ignore the barrel aimed at his head.

“It’s Bernstein to you and I was going to ask you the same thing” Rederick said in a sly tone

“What, I’m not allowed to take a stroll though the French countryside without suspicion?” Deadpool asked

“You don’t think I’m going to buy that excuse do you? I know how Tyrell works and none of you just go strolling through the French countryside without a good reason. Besides I know you visited General Woo. “ Rederick answered back.

“Oh I’m not allowed to visit a good friend?” Deadpool retorted

“No you can. I know you didn’t just visit him to exchange pleasantries. You are up to something and I plan on finding out what it is. Now move.” Rederick said

“Can you at least tell me where you are taking me?” Deadpool asked

“You’ll find out soon enough. Now no more talking. Just walk” Rederick said as he had enough of the pleasantries.

Deadpool thought about trying to elude Rederick but knew that would most likely only end up with him getting shot. So for now he just headed off to an unknown location in silence not sure of what fate awaited him.
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