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Old 02-27-2012, 05:32 AM #169
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AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

* Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop.


* Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat
by using the sink.


* For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and
bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use a timer.


* A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent
you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.


* If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then
you'll be afraid to cough.


* You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it
doesn't move and should, use the WD -40. If it shouldn't move and
does, use the duct tape.


* Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


* If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.


* Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES; NOT REALLY GOOD
FOR ANYTHING... BUT, THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED
DOWN THE STAIRS.
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Old 02-27-2012, 05:39 AM #170
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PROSTATE EXAM




An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution.




When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor.





The female doctor says,"I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to.





I want you to lie on your right side,bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say,
'99'.
The old guy obeys and says,

"99".

The doctor says, "Great", now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say,

'99".

Again, the old guy says,

'99'."
The doctor said, “Very good”.

Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly.

I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis

to keep it out of the way.

Now take a deep breath and say,


'99'.


The old guy begins,


"One...



two…




three…"


You don't stop laughing because you grow old.
You grow old because you stop laughing!
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Old 02-27-2012, 07:24 AM #171
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Lol
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Old 02-27-2012, 08:16 AM #172
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Quote:
Originally Posted by msonic View Post
Lol
Don't lie, you searched for a female urologist after that didn't you, lol.
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Old 02-27-2012, 08:56 AM #173
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Nope. In fact, haven't been to a doctor since my childhood immunizations.
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Old 02-27-2012, 09:57 AM #174
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Quote:
Originally Posted by msonic View Post
Nope. In fact, haven't been to a doctor since my childhood immunizations.
You shouldn't be embarrassed by that third nipple, its more common than you think. Now that fourth nipple is a whole different story, lol.
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Old 02-27-2012, 10:35 AM #175
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that too low on the body to be called a nipple anyways.
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Old 02-27-2012, 10:57 AM #176
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But I can make it wink.....
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Old 02-27-2012, 11:23 AM #177
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Soooo wrong. Sooo very wrong.
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Old 02-27-2012, 11:24 AM #178
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its too early to be talking about your winky.
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Old 02-27-2012, 11:38 AM #179
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but can you hand a towel from it?
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Old 02-27-2012, 12:10 PM #180
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I can dry myself off with said hung towel.
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Old 02-27-2012, 12:11 PM #181
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You probably sing "hips dont lie" by shakira while doing it, don't you?
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Old 02-27-2012, 12:12 PM #182
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Why does everything end up going south on here
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Old 02-27-2012, 12:25 PM #183
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At we are not discussing cockers and sizing your balls correctly for a snug fit so they don't roll out.
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Old 02-27-2012, 12:34 PM #184
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What?? Balls come in different sizes and you have to measure them.
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Old 02-27-2012, 01:23 PM #185
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duh you need to carefully check out your balls to make sure they will fit just right.

otherwise you might get an explosion in the "barrel" before it releases the ball
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Old 02-27-2012, 03:14 PM #186
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Some of us prefer a nice overly tight fit for best "efficiency".. Meaning the "noid" doesn't need to be active for as long before the ball is released and the target is splattered.

Then again.. some people prefer the "paintball down a hallway" fit. Still haven't figured that one out.
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Old 02-27-2012, 03:16 PM #187
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Then japy has to ruin everything by going ON Topic.
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Old 02-27-2012, 03:35 PM #188
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Vote!

http://www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?t=3762514
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Old 02-27-2012, 03:39 PM #189
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I'll show YOU on topic...





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