Originally Posted by TheColorCute
What were you doing wrong?
The way I was asking them. I was beating around the bush, leaving most of the decision up to them, waiting for them to text me a couple hours before the date, rather me doing it like the guy should, etc. I've always been fairly confident, but I always had that whole thought that "if she doesn't contact me, she doesn't want to see/talk to me." It left me feeling forever alone.
Example of how the conversations would go:
Me: "We should hangout soon"
Her: "Yeah, let's do it!"
Me: "When would you like to?"
Her: "Doesn't matter to me!"
Me: "How does Saturday sound?"
Her: "I'm free. Saturday sounds good to me!"
Me: "Nice. What time would work for you?"
And so on, and so forth. It was embarrassing.
I have completely changed though since that phase a couple years ago. I'm a cocky/confident ****. I couldn't give two ****s about what people think about me, what I say to/around girls, how I act when I'm around girls, etc. I talk to girls as if I know they want to talk to me, and I tell myself that all the time so that I don't go back to thinking they don't want to talk to me. I've learned a lot more about how people work, which mainly came from understanding that girls are almost exactly like guys when it comes to their thought process, they just hide it better than we do.
I have learned that when a girl doesn't text you, she is doing that to see if you'll ever text her. I know damn well that girls sit at their phone and wait for you to text them. That's why I have no problem initiating contact with girls anymore, and because of that I have been able to set myself up for a hell of a lot more opportunities with them, thus my success with them.
Don't get me wrong, I still get flaked on, but it's not as common anymore. And when I do get flaked on, I say "**** it" and hit up another interest of mine. Flake on me? Your loss...
I also don't give out too many "second chances." If a girl flakes on me, I will cut contact with them. A lot of people say that you shouldn't give up that easy, and I don't, but I usually have a bunch of girls that I have no problem taking out if all goes wrong with my target girl. Anyways, after they flake on me once I will wait for them to initiate contact with me again, rather than trying time and time again. It shoes them that I don't need them. If they want to play hard to get, girl you're picking the wrong person to square off with. It usually takes about 2 weeks for them to realize "****, my attempt to play hard to get has punched me in the mouth." They'll usually text me and from there I will decide whether or not I want to ask them out again.
Girls like a challenge. When you throw yourself at them they're going to walk away. Remember that toy you always wanted when you were little, but as soon as you got it you wanted something else? That's how girls are. Guys are the same way, though, too. We just tend to take it anyways because we tend to be more desperate.