[steffon]

I told my girlfriend last night that her mindset, perspective on things, people she dealt with, etc. was the epitome of what I DIDN't want my daughter to be like when/if i had one. lol. This is based on the things she told me about her HS days and how she acted when we were first dating (we are both 21 now. been together for 10 months) . I also asked her this question (copy pasta from email i sent)


What drives a woman to have a physical connection with a man for one night, and forget about him…but for the next man to empty her heart and soul for him to carry her burdens and faith that he will make her happy for a lifetime???

I swear no woman can answer that ****.

This was in my defense for not putting all this pressure on me to be a perfect boyfriend in any shape or fashion, in a lowkey sense i have no will to do so. Im not blinded by love, or *****.

does anyone else think like this?? that you are a fool to give a woman your all if she has given her all to others before? or is it just meh.

This all stemmed from me not saying "I love you" at the end of a phone call like im some sort of programmed pet.

uhn uhhhhhh....You prolly tell dat **** to erryybody (drake voice)

[chandler SNARF]

So, there's this girl I've been hanging out with for the last 3 days, straight. Like we were friends for a little last summer, kind of had a thing, but out of nowhere I initiated contact and we've spent like every hour of everyday together for the last 3 days. Yesterday I started feeling an attraction, I told her, and she said that she did too. The problem is, she kind of has this thing with this guy. She told me she knows it won't workout and last night she texted him and told him that. Problem number 2, she used to be good friends with my ex... she doesn't like her anymore because she found out that my ex was talking **** about her. But last night I asked her what she feels, and she said, "I like you, but I can't. I don't know." I asked her why and she said for those two reasons, "Troy and Casey. They aren't very valid answers but I still ponder them."

What should I do?

Please, lots of advice.

[tehk00l$chemcksykid]

Originally Posted by whiteyg0tgame

I guess age doesn't matter, but then we'll have to find a place to party. It just makes it more difficult.

this is true.

[whiteyg0tgame]

Originally Posted by steffon

I swear no woman can answer that ****.

This was in my defense for not putting all this pressure on me to be a perfect boyfriend in any shape or fashion, in a lowkey sense i have no will to do so. Im not blinded by love, or *****.

does anyone else think like this?? that you are a fool to give a woman your all if she has given her all to others before? or is it just meh.

Your question is only challenging physical attraction versus emotional and it's a big difference and an easy answer. Regardless, stop trying to push her away. If you don't want to be with her, end it. If you're just too cool to commit to a woman, why have you been with one for ten months? Stop wasting people's time.

People have thought like you and think like you, but those are people who haven't grown up and matured yet. So grow up and mature. Part of finding the person you want to spend your time with is finding out who you don't want to spend time with. You would not be happy if you found a virgin because she'd be too inexperienced and immature to have fun with you.

Balls.

Originally Posted by chandler SNARF

So, there's this girl I've been hanging out with for the last 3 days, straight. Like we were friends for a little last summer, kind of had a thing, but out of nowhere I initiated contact and we've spent like every hour of everyday together for the last 3 days. Yesterday I started feeling an attraction, I told her, and she said that she did too. The problem is, she kind of has this thing with this guy. She told me she knows it won't workout and last night she texted him and told him that. Problem number 2, she used to be good friends with my ex... she doesn't like her anymore because she found out that my ex was talking **** about her. But last night I asked her what she feels, and she said, "I like you, but I can't. I don't know." I asked her why and she said for those two reasons, "Troy and Casey. They aren't very valid answers but I still ponder them."

Why do you insist on ****ing things up by asking things like that (reference bold)? You've been in this thread long enough to read at least 10 times that you don't ask ****ing questions about emotions and **** like that when you're not dating someone. So what part of your brain ignores that advice when you end up in situations like this?

ACTION, ACTION, ACTION. If you feel attracted, show her, don't tell her. That's all. That's the simple version.

You don't even have to show her by making out with her. Get her a cute present, or hide a flower or a note in her purse, don't ****in... ****. "I am feeling an attraction to you."

Originally Posted by chandler SNARF

****, I suck with girls

Explained above.

[chandler SNARF]

Originally Posted by whiteyg0tgame

Why do you insist on ****ing things up by asking things like that (reference bold)? You've been in this thread long enough to read at least 10 times that you don't ask ****ing questions about emotions and **** like that when you're not dating someone. So what part of your brain ignores that advice when you end up in situations like this?

ACTION, ACTION, ACTION. If you feel attracted, show her, don't tell her. That's all. That's the simple version.

You don't even have to show her by making out with her. Get her a cute present, or hide a flower or a note in her purse, don't ****in... ****. "I am feeling an attraction to you."



Explained above.

****ed that up.... I know. So what do I do now?

edit: How about I drive by later today and say, I feel bad about last night, then proceed to give her flowers?

[pacasowithagun]

Originally Posted by chandler SNARF

So, there's this girl I've been hanging out with for the last 3 days, straight. Like we were friends for a little last summer, kind of had a thing, but out of nowhere I initiated contact and we've spent like every hour of everyday together for the last 3 days. Yesterday I started feeling an attraction, I told her, and she said that she did too. The problem is, she kind of has this thing with this guy. She told me she knows it won't workout and last night she texted him and told him that. Problem number 2, she used to be good friends with my ex... she doesn't like her anymore because she found out that my ex was talking **** about her. But last night I asked her what she feels, and she said, "I like you, but I can't. I don't know." I asked her why and she said for those two reasons, "Troy and Casey. They aren't very valid answers but I still ponder them."

What should I do?

Please, lots of advice.

I will assume Troy is the other guy, and Casey is your ex.

Troy- if she is indecisive over whether she wants to be with you or him and is going back and forth, not be her little ***** that she can just run to.

Casey- They dont talk anymore, who cares? If they were BFFLs then that would be a whole nother thing. I dont see the logic in this being a problem.

Originally Posted by steffon

I told my girlfriend last night that her mindset, perspective on things, people she dealt with, etc. was the epitome of what I DIDN't want my daughter to be like when/if i had one. lol. This is based on the things she told me about her HS days and how she acted when we were first dating (we are both 21 now. been together for 10 months) . I also asked her this question (copy pasta from email i sent)


What drives a woman to have a physical connection with a man for one night, and forget about him…but for the next man to empty her heart and soul for him to carry her burdens and faith that he will make her happy for a lifetime???

I swear no woman can answer that ****.

This was in my defense for not putting all this pressure on me to be a perfect boyfriend in any shape or fashion, in a lowkey sense i have no will to do so. Im not blinded by love, or *****.

does anyone else think like this?? that you are a fool to give a woman your all if she has given her all to others before? or is it just meh.

This all stemmed from me not saying "I love you" at the end of a phone call like im some sort of programmed pet.

uhn uhhhhhh....You prolly tell dat **** to erryybody (drake voice)

Thats a real intense question, but does has she done anything to merit being asked that? Did she cheat on you or something with another guy? was she a **** prior to you two seeing each other? It seems like a question you would ask if they hooked up behind your back with someone.

But I imagine she will come back with something like, "Women have sexual needs too. Just like men get horny and want to hook up and have a one night stand with a chick, so to women." Also, the question can be turned back around on you so be prepared.

As for saying "i love you" like a robot. You shouldnt rush into saying something like that. At least that is my opinion. I put a lot of emotion into saying the word love. that might sound a bit gay, but it is just how I see it. I hate it when chicks are like "OMG I love you!" for doing something random. Or they call you Love for no reason. Dont say it unless you mean it.

Originally Posted by chandler SNARF

****ed that up.... I know. So what do I do now?

edit: How about I drive by later today and say, I feel bad about last night, then proceed to give her flowers?

No. It makes you look even more desperate and needy than you already do.

[chandler SNARF]

Originally Posted by pacasowithagun

I will assume Troy is the other guy, and Casey is your ex.

Troy- if she is indecisive over whether she wants to be with you or him and is going back and forth, not be her little ***** that she can just run to.

Casey- They dont talk anymore, who cares? If they were BFFLs then that would be a whole nother thing. I dont see the logic in this being a problem.

The thing is with Casey, is that she's psycho and has been texting Sunny saying **** like, "Why the **** are you with him? Don't you know that he talked **** about you the whole time we were dating?" And I totally feel like it's scaring this girl away.

[steffon]

Originally Posted by whiteyg0tgame

Your question is only challenging physical attraction versus emotional and it's a big difference and an easy answer. Regardless, stop trying to push her away. If you don't want to be with her, end it. If you're just too cool to commit to a woman, why have you been with one for ten months? Stop wasting people's time.
.

Your advice is always the ****..thanks. but it was situational and actually was well recieved by my girlfriend..(there are other parts of the email that make it that way)

But its more complicated than that.. maybe im having a hard time embracing that women become harder to get over time?

I feel like im always being held to the standard of perfection...when i heard about the **** she put up with before me. if i do one thing its like wwIII.

But you are right i need to stop ****ing around and grow up because I have a beautiful girl on my hands and sometimes dont appreciate it.

We both agreed that we have a lot of maturing to do, i think it made us a lot closer actually. I just let her into my mind, and it actually intrigues her because im an introverted person.

If i didnt want to be with her, i wouldnt be damn near a year in. my honeymoon phase is over, we are still best friends.

I told her as of this moment im a better friend on a consistent basis than a boyfriend. i have my lapses on the latter..

[chandler SNARF]

Also, I feel like she's different. She told me she likes super sensitive guys, which makes sense, because this guy, Troy, is an overweight drugdealer without any personality whatsoever. She said that she likes him while texting him, but in person he's dull and undesirable.

[Dikkens]

Originally Posted by whiteyg0tgame

1) Then we should do it already. When is absolutely everyone that matters 21? We'll do it on the weekend after/of the last person's birthday (from Philly, of course).

2) Then what about all the other teams?

Me= November (I matter, right? )
Conor= October

[Dikkens]

Originally Posted by chandler SNARF

Also, I feel like she's different. She told me she likes super sensitive guys, which makes sense, because this guy, Troy, is an overweight drugdealer without any personality whatsoever. She said that she likes him while texting him, but in person he's dull and undesirable.

What girls say and what they do/how they think/how they act are completely different. Take it with a grain of salt. I would say cut off contact with her for a week and a half and freeze her out. Then hit her up and start over, without acting like a ****ing *****.

[steffon]

Originally Posted by pacasowithagun

Thats a real intense question, but does has she done anything to merit being asked that? Did she cheat on you or something with another guy? was she a **** prior to you two seeing each other? It seems like a question you would ask if they hooked up behind your back with someone.

But I imagine she will come back with something like, "Women have sexual needs too. Just like men get horny and want to hook up and have a one night stand with a chick, so to women." Also, the question can be turned back around on you so be prepared.

As for saying "i love you" like a robot. You shouldnt rush into saying something like that. At least that is my opinion. I put a lot of emotion into saying the word love. that might sound a bit gay, but it is just how I see it. I hate it when chicks are like "OMG I love you!" for doing something random. Or they call you Love for no reason. Dont say it unless you mean it.
.

1. Nah, im just saying she pressures me so much into treating me like im "the one" for her that it makes me wonder about the entire process in general? Im speaking for the entire sex of women. Every woman boinks some man casually atleast once. I'm just seeing what makes them believe they deserve to be treated like a queen by one man, and a regular chick by the other guy that boinked casually? (I guess it was answered by whitey.... emotional vs. physical only)

2. Men aren't emotional like women (except for chandler SNARF) so they are always feeling some type of way to allow that process to happen? or am i generalizing too hard?

3. I told her from the beginning i HATE that phrase because it is used in vain so hard by the exact people that i have to listen to her cry about in the beginning from happy tears that she found a good man like myself. I told her id rather show her than say it...and last night was like a relapse where she felt a certain way when i didnt say it. (menstrual cycle )

[chandler SNARF]

Originally Posted by steffon

2. Men aren't emotional like women (except for chandler SNARF) so they are always feeling some type of way to allow that process to happen? or am i generalizing too hard?

I'd agree.

[whiteyg0tgame]

Originally Posted by chandler SNARF

****ed that up.... I know. So what do I do now?

edit: How about I drive by later today and say, I feel bad about last night, then proceed to give her flowers?

Originally Posted by chandler SNARF

The thing is with Casey, is that she's psycho and has been texting Sunny saying **** like, "Why the **** are you with him? Don't you know that he talked **** about you the whole time we were dating?" And I totally feel like it's scaring this girl away.

Originally Posted by chandler SNARF

Also, I feel like she's different. She told me she likes super sensitive guys, which makes sense, because this guy, Troy, is an overweight drugdealer without any personality whatsoever. She said that she likes him while texting him, but in person he's dull and undesirable.

Who the hell are all these other people? You should be thinking about her and that's it. What do you do now?

Stop talking about your emotions, being attracted to her, these other people, and liking one another. Just don't talk about it. Ever. At all. If you start to feel like you're attracted to her, or you're really happy you are hanging out with her, don't tell her. Show her. Actions. Once you actually have a relationship established with her, you're more than welcome to tell her how much you like her and how happy she makes. But in this **** show of getting to know one another leave it out of the game.

Originally Posted by steffon

Your advice is always the ****..thanks. but it was situational and actually was well recieved by my girlfriend..(there are other parts of the email that make it that way)

But its more complicated than that.. maybe im having a hard time embracing that women become harder to get over time?

But you are right i need to stop ****ing around and grow up because I have a beautiful girl on my hands and sometimes dont appreciate it.

We both agreed that we have a lot of maturing to do, i think it made us a lot closer actually. I just let her into my mind, and it actually intrigues her because im an introverted person.

Things are always more complicated than text over an online forum based off of a paintball website. However, the past is the past. Were you with her back then? No. So why build emotions and feelings about her based on a time you weren't with her? You're living in the present, and it's the only thing that can change your future. So take her for who she is, to you, right now, from day to day, and love her for that. Let the past go and build with her - no distractions.

Originally Posted by Dikkens

Me= November (I matter, right? )
Conor= October

You matter, but apparently we are aiming for a sub-21 party. Who has a house for us?

[pacasowithagun]

Originally Posted by steffon

I guess it was answered by whitey.

thats usually what happens in here.

But I do feel for you on the whole 'love' thing. I put so much merit into it because my parents (mainly my dad) never really said it to me until I went off to college. They said they were proud of me and **** when I accomplished something, but rarely did they say they loved me.

Anyway... I just remembered Im going out for sushi in 4 hours! First date ive been on in... 2 years? Idk even what to do.

Originally Posted by whiteyg0tgame

You matter, but apparently we are aiming for a sub-21 party. Who has a house for us?

icwatudidthar.

[steffon]

Originally Posted by pacasowithagun

thats usually what happens in here.

But I do feel for you on the whole 'love' thing. I put so much merit into it because my parents (mainly my dad) never really said it to me until I went off to college. They said they were proud of me and **** when I accomplished something, but rarely did they say they loved me.

Anyway... I just remembered Im going out for sushi in 4 hours! First date ive been on in... 2 years? Idk even what to do.

do the opposite of SNARF and you should be fine

edit- be yourself

[pacasowithagun]

lol, yea i know. its just a weird feeling. im excited, but nervous. and i have no clue what to do after sushi. looking for something exciting, cheap, and easy.

[chandler SNARF]

Originally Posted by whiteyg0tgame

Who the hell are all these other people? You should be thinking about her and that's it. What do you do now?

Stop talking about your emotions, being attracted to her, these other people, and liking one another. Just don't talk about it. Ever. At all. If you start to feel like you're attracted to her, or you're really happy you are hanging out with her, don't tell her. Show her. Actions. Once you actually have a relationship established with her, you're more than welcome to tell her how much you like her and how happy she makes. But in this **** show of getting to know one another leave it out of the game.

I think I ****ed up with actions... She was giving me a lot of signs to kiss her last night when I was playing guitar for her, and I think I ****ed it up.

[whiteyg0tgame]

You ****ed up with words. It's the actions you need.... did you try to kiss her?

Originally Posted by pacasowithagun

But I do feel for you on the whole 'love' thing. I put so much merit into it because my parents (mainly my dad) never really said it to me until I went off to college. They said they were proud of me and **** when I accomplished something, but rarely did they say they loved me.

My parents are the same way. Maybe it's American? Hahah.....

Originally Posted by pacasowithagun

Anyway... I just remembered Im going out for sushi in 4 hours! First date ive been on in... 2 years? Idk even what to do.

Don't forget to eat the ginger! If you know of any places that are pretty (and I suggest this often) you should surprise her by getting the sushi to go and whisking her away for a little picnic.

Originally Posted by pacasowithagun

icwatudidthar.

Originally Posted by pacasowithagun

lol, yea i know. its just a weird feeling. im excited, but nervous. and i have no clue what to do after sushi. looking for something exciting, cheap, and easy.

Exciting, cheap, and easy? Have sex. Hahaha.

[chandler SNARF]

So from the experts, now I freeze her out for a week or two?

[pacasowithagun]

Originally Posted by whiteyg0tgame

Don't forget to eat the ginger! If you know of any places that are pretty (and I suggest this often) you should surprise her by getting the sushi to go and whisking her away for a little picnic.

yea eat me *****! i might try this out. I know there is a park not too far away.

Originally Posted by whiteyg0tgame

lol. But if we have a house warming party you guys will be invited. Ill just have to make sure they are like, "whose the creepy 25 year old dude?"

Originally Posted by whiteyg0tgame

Exciting, cheap, and easy? Have sex. Hahaha.

harharhar. but srs. I wouldnt mind a small hook up. maybe not sex, but you know.