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Old 08-13-2013, 02:24 PM #1
PaintmyBalls904
 
 
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Testicle Trauma

So I got whacked directly on the testicle by a paintball that didn't break. The equivalent of a marble shot at me by a slingshot. I was immobilized for 5 minutes during the game as paint whizzed all around me. Finally mustered up the strength to finish the game. The pain stayed with me through the night. I could barely move, it was such a direct flick on my nut..

Soo.... Got a "big game" event coming up this sunday and im thinking of doing the clockwork orange look, by wearing a jockstrap with a cup on the outside of my pants. Does anyone pad up their junk down there? How so? I played baseball all my life and hated wearing a cup. Was thinking I could just stick some foam down there? What methods have yall tried? What works? I don't want this happening again.
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Old 08-16-2013, 05:20 PM #2
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81 views and no responses...
Do yall wear cups or have you not been shot in the balls the way I have?
Maybe my balls hang too low? reminds me of a movie where some chick sang "do your balls hang low, do they dangle to and fro?" natural born killers?
Seriously tho, I hope I never get shot there again. Still haven't decided how im gonna protect the nutsack for sundays big game...
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Old 08-22-2013, 04:30 PM #3
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DO you not wear slider shorts or paintball pants? Most of them have groin padding. I also see people tuck a towel down in front so its hanging out and it protects your junk. I use to wear hockey spandex shorts and rather then put the cup in, I would put a small micro fiber towel there.

Were you not crouched down? I am usually in a pretty low position and always behind cover so I mostly get pelted on my hands, gun, or mask.
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Old 08-25-2013, 10:25 AM #4
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"Do Your Balls hang Low?" is a children's song that is often sung in schools and at camps. The melody of this song was partially taken from another: "Turkey in the Straw." Various theories exist concerning the origin of the lyrics, but no conclusive evidence seems to exist. A common belief is that the lyrics refer to the balls of a hound dog.

Various versions with alternative lyrics exist, the earliest known version is "Do Your Balls Hang Low", This version is listed in the Roud Folk Song Index under a separate number, 10259. Other versions printed shortly afterwards would suggest that this a rather rude wartime soldiers' song that has made its way into other circles: rugby singing, campfire singing. The original lyric version is also in the Roud Folk Song Index under number 15472.

Lyrics
The following lyrics are from one particular variant of the song:

Do your balls hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder
Like a continental (or regimental) soldier
Do your balls hang low?

Do your balls hang high?
Do they reach up to the sky?
Do they droop when they are wet?
Do they stiffen when they're dry?
Can you summon o'er your neighbor
With a minimum of labor?
Do your balls hang high?

Do your balls flip-flop?
Can you use them as a mop?
Are they stringy at the bottom?
Are they curly at the top?
Can you use them for a swatter?
Can you use them for a blotter?
Do your balls flip-flop?

Do your balls stick out?
Can you waggle them about?
Can you flap them up and down
As you fly around the town?
Can you shut them up for sure
When you hear an awful bore?
Do your balls stick out?

Do your balls have snacks?
Are they all filled up with wax?
Do you eat it in the morning
Do you eat it in the bath?
Do you eat it with a scone
Or do you eat it on its own?
Do your balls have snacks?
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Old 08-25-2013, 10:28 AM #5
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^ What in the fudge.....
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Old 08-25-2013, 12:37 PM #6
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LMFAO!!! wow, thanks for the history of that song, that made my day.

YMMV, I got shot there as I was running to a bunker. You gave me a good idea though, I bought a cup/jock strap combo, and instead of using the cup, ill try a towel first. Probably will have more flexibility that way..

ChaseJax, that cracked me up!
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Old 08-25-2013, 01:59 PM #7
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Here is what a cup/jockstrap combo looks like for those of you unfamiliar with it...

[IMG][/IMG]
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Old 08-29-2013, 12:22 AM #8
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Nice legs
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Old 08-29-2013, 12:30 AM #9
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Looks like you left yourself wide open for a core sample.
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Old 11-07-2013, 10:01 PM #10
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Came him for a laugh... and got it!

Just hope I won't be too paranoid to play next time...
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Old 12-12-2013, 05:57 PM #11
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Your username is Paintmyballs afterall
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Old 05-01-2014, 11:50 PM #12
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I think you should go out and do a bunny run dressed in nothing more than that jockstrap! LOL.
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Old 05-21-2014, 07:27 PM #13
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Can't say I've ever taken a paintball to the nads, but I can confirm a lacrosse ball sure doesn't feel good.
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Old 08-03-2014, 07:28 AM #14
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Dick towel, you need a dick towel.


EDIT: I am ashamed of my necropost
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