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View Poll Results: Was he being a smartarse?
Yes 30 10.87%
No 21 7.61%
The Middle One 225 81.52%
Voters: 276. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-22-2009, 10:44 AM #85
pyromaniacs1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CK army View Post
Best one

Dear Jeff

Yes, I have noticed that there are many gyms in my area. I assume the low qualification requirements of fitness trainers means that there is an over supply of these buffed but essentially otherwise purposeless professionals. I knew a guy in high school who couldn't talk very well and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher 'mum' and during recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our money back. He went on to become a fitness instructor so I view gyms as kind of like those factories that provide a community service by employing people with down syndrome to lick stamps and pack boxes. Except with more Spandex obviously.

Regards, David.
I completely agree.
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Old 06-22-2009, 11:04 AM #86
KmasterLog
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lol this guy is ****ing great.
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Old 06-22-2009, 11:13 AM #87
DRock
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 has been a member for 10 years
ROFL! Using a Magic 8-ball to answer his emails.

Quote:
From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.38am
To: David Thorne
Subject: No Subject

Have you got a typeface called Garamond Semibold? I have the Garamond and bold and italic but not the semibold. I am doing a poster for Cathy and I reckon garamond would look good.


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.02am
To: Simon
Subject: Re: No Subject

As I see it, yes.


From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Garamond

Which one? Yes you have the typeface or that it would look good on a poster?


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.52am
To: Simon
Subject: Re: Garamond

Concentrate and ask again.


From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.14am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Garamond

What the ****? I need the typeface Garamond. Have you got it or not?


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.18am
To: Simon
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Garamond

You may rely on it.


From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.29am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Garamond

Send me the typeface dickhead.














From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2.08pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Hey

Hey. Are you at work?


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2.25pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: Hey

Signs point to yes.


From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2.53pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Hey

What? Can you drop over on your way home from work and help me lift a piece of glass up onto a table? It is too heavy to lift.


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 3.22pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hey

My sources say no.


From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 3.49pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hey

Are you serious? I tried lifting it a bit at a time and sliding books under it but I need heaps more books. Can you come for a quick drive now?


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 4.02pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hey

Ask again later.


From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 4.57pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: ?

Are you going to help me on the way back from work or not?


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 5.16pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: ?

It is decidedly so.


From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 5.24pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: ?

Good. **** you are annoying sometimes.
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Old 06-22-2009, 02:19 PM #88
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LOL

he's a man who just got bored with life and decided to mess everything up. haha
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Old 06-22-2009, 02:47 PM #89
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Epic Thread.
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Old 06-22-2009, 02:53 PM #90
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfness View Post
Epic Thread.
Who said... whatever.
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Old 06-22-2009, 02:55 PM #91
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these are great, i remember reading the spider one, i laughed just as hard when reading these. This guy is a genius.
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Old 07-25-2009, 12:28 AM #92
Rockn' Da Rail
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I'm doing a favor to the ST community by reviving this thread.
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Old 07-25-2009, 01:38 AM #93
CK_army
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockn' Da Rail View Post
I'm doing a favor to the ST community by reviving this thread.

thanks?


now i can....read it....again?
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Old 07-25-2009, 01:40 AM #94
xFortune (Banned)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockn' Da Rail View Post
I'm doing a favor to the ST community by reviving this thread.
No..in fact, you are not. All of ST has already read this soo...kbai.
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Old 07-25-2009, 12:45 PM #95
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the magic 8ball ones are win
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Old 07-25-2009, 02:16 PM #96
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ROFL! dumb ppl do exists! LOL!
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Old 07-25-2009, 02:33 PM #97
Bigboss420
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lol
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Old 07-25-2009, 02:47 PM #98
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so win
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Old 08-06-2009, 02:05 PM #99
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Old 08-06-2009, 02:31 PM #100
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****er, why?
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Old 08-06-2009, 02:56 PM #101
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holy **** this man is unbelieveable.
my boss just came over to see what i was reading and wants me to find another one!
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Old 08-06-2009, 03:08 PM #102
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It would seem to me that being paid to provide something that makes people happy would be one of the most satisfying professions available. A while back, my mother visited a Tasmanian region where they grow opium poppies for medicinal puposes and brought me back me a seed she had 'found'. I planted it in my front yard and several weeks later it bloomed. Having read L.Ron Hubbard's Mission Earth series which included detailed instructions on processing opium, I used a scalpel to cut lines in the black centre then dried the milky substance resulting in about half a teaspoon of white powder. That night, my friend Kas came over to my place with his entire CD collection to listen to and we decided to try some of the powder. A short time later, with the live version of Gary Numan's Down in the Park playing on loop, we were both standing completely naked in the bathroom shaving our entire bodies following a discussion about how nice it would be to have smooth skin like an eel. I do not recall much of the rest of the evening but I awoke to find myself wearing a pillow case with holes cut out for my arms as a shirt and Kas asleep on the sofa wearing the same plus 3D glasses. Before waking and leaving later that afternoon, Kas swapped me his entire CD collection for the remainder of the powder, which proves the market for such a profession, so I am currently in the process of converting my sons bedroom into a drug lab
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Old 08-06-2009, 05:05 PM #103
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i lol'd so hard at all those.

this man must be the coolest guy in the world
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