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View Poll Results: Was he being a smartarse?
Yes 30 10.87%
No 21 7.61%
The Middle One 225 81.52%
Voters: 276. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-17-2009, 08:55 PM #43
JFroese
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Rofl.
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Old 06-17-2009, 08:57 PM #44
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“While watching the movie ‘Chronicles of Riddick’ together last night, my offspring stated that he wished Riddick was his dad. When I asked why, he replied that Riddick is good looking, has muscles and is a good fighter. I told him that I wished Matthew (his arch-enemy at school) was my son because he is better at maths and has cool hair.”

a statement from david thorne.
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:00 PM #45
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Originally Posted by pbmann1213 View Post
“While watching the movie ‘Chronicles of Riddick’ together last night, my offspring stated that he wished Riddick was his dad. When I asked why, he replied that Riddick is good looking, has muscles and is a good fighter. I told him that I wished Matthew (his arch-enemy at school) was my son because he is better at maths and has cool hair.”

a statement from david thorne.
By far the best.
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:03 PM #46
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tl;dr
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:14 PM #47
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From: Peter Conner
Date: Friday 9 Jan 2009 09.17am
To: David Thorne
Subject: R 1200 GS

Hello David,
Thankyou for your recent enquiry regarding pricing of the R 1200 GS Motorcycle. We do not accept household furniture as trade ins on vehicles and would reccomend you sell them privately. The R 1200 GS has a list price of $25,470. Please note that this excludes Dealer delivery and ORC and is GST inclusive. I welcome you to contact me personally to arrange a test ride at a time that would suit you.
Sincerely, Peter Conner



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 9 Jan 2009 10.03am
To: Peter Conner
Subject: Re: R 1200 GS

Dear Peter,

Thankyou for responding to the online request I filled out several months ago and your kind offer to allow me to test ride the product before paying what is essentially five times the value of my car. I hope I get a full tank of petrol with that. I have read that women like guys that ride motorcycles though so I am sure it is worth every cent. If you could confirm for me that the model is available in desert yellow I would be very interested in arranging that test ride.

Regards, David.



From: Peter Conner
Date: Friday 9 Jan 2009 10.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: R 1200 GS colours available

Hello David,
Yes the R 1200 GS is available in desert yellow. We have a desert yellow demo model on the showroom floor at the moment if you would like to come in to view and arrange a test ride at that time.
Sincerely, Peter Conner



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 9 Jan 2009 10.48am
To: Peter Conner
Subject: Re: R 1200 GS colours available

Dear Peter,

I have just been informed that bees are attracted to yellow vehicles. Apparently a few years back, a friend of a friend purchased a bright yellow convertible and was unable to drive it with the top down due to constantly being surrounded by bees. Do you know if this is a science fact as I am allergic to bees and the last thing I want is to be stung in the eye while I am doing 240kph on the freeway during the test ride. Also, do you know if there are airtight motorcycle helmets available?

Regards, David.



From: Peter Conner
Date: Friday 9 Jan 2009 11.09am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: R 1200 GS colours available

Hello David,
You would be required to follow state speed restrictions of 100kph on the Eastern Freeway during a test ride and would reccomend lower speeds than that until you have familiarised yourself with the bike. We would generally not expect people to take the demo bike on the freeway but we can discuss when you come in. I have never heard that about bees liking yellow vehicles and would think it is not true. The R 1200 GS is available in granite, black and red in addition to the yellow. Would you like to come in today and discus?
Sincerely, Peter Conner



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 9 Jan 2009 02.50pm
To: Peter Conner
Subject: Re: Re: Re: R 1200 GS colours available

Dear Peter,

I have been researching bees on the internet for the last four hours at work. When I type 'do bees like yellow' into google, it says that there are 2,960,000 results and it will take me a while to look at all of those pages so I doubt I will make it in there today. On one of the pages I have been to it stated that Qantas used to have a yellow kangaroo as their logo but when it was painted on the tail fin it attracted nests of bees which was a safety hazard therfore the logo was changed to red in the mid fifties. This would seem to support the argument that bees are indeed attracted to yellow and contradicts what you have told me. According to one page though, bees are technically unable to fly due to their wings being too small for their body weight but I have seen them do it so this can't be true. Somebody should check the internet and make sure everything on there is correct. Regardless, I do not think having to dodge bees in addition to the already present dangers of learning to ride a motorbike for the first time would be very safe. Once when I was a passenger in a yellow taxi, a bee flew in and I screamed causing the driver to swerve and hit a wheelie bin. I will continue my research and confirm that this would not be a factor before I arrange the test ride.

Regards, David.



From: Peter Conner
Date: Friday 9 Jan 2009 03.18pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: R 1200 GS colours available

When you say you are learning to ride a motorcycle, do you hold a current full motorcycle license?
Sincerely, Peter Conner



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 9 Jan 2009 03.40pm
To: Peter Conner
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R 1200 GS colours available

Dear Peter,

No, but how hard can it be? They are just pushbikes with engines. Part of my job role here is to ride my pushbike every day to collect co-workers lunch orders from McDonalds, - balancing the bags on my handlebars because they will not buy me a basket. I think that qualifies me for something. Often I have to make the trip twice when McDonalds® employees leave something out of the order. Actually, on average, every third time I go through the drive through they forget to include prt of my order. Also the girls who work there are too attractive. This means that if I want something from my local McDonalds® late at night, I have to shower, shave and wear something nice before I can get a simple snack. As it takes me at least two hours to do my hair, I am practically starving by this time and therefore order twice as much food as usual. Ordering more food increases the chance of them leaving something out. Last night it was an apple pie and that is really the only thing I like from there. It is quite obvious to me that they do this on purpose. Once, I ordered two big macs, minus the beef, large fries and an apple pie. When I got home and opened the bag, there were two happy meals in there. The toy was two of the same Kim Possible figurines which worked out ok as I gave one to my son and kept one myself because for a cartoon character, you have to admit that Kim Possible is quite hot. I also have a thing for Lois from the television series Family Guy so I must have a penchant for cartoon redheads which is vaguely puzzling to me as I cannot stand redheads in real life. Nobody can. I have read that redheads are more prone to allergies and if this is a science fact, and includes allergies to bee stings, all redheads should be encouraged to wear bright yellow T-Shirts.

Regards, David.



From: Peter Conner
Date: Friday 9 Jan 2009 04.28pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: R 1200 GS test ride

Dear David,
I apologise but we will be unable to organise a test ride for you at this time.
Sincerely, Peter Conner
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:15 PM #48
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?kcuf eht
el joder?
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:47 PM #49
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i can tell its fake. good try though
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Old 06-17-2009, 10:10 PM #50
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****ing priceless.
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Old 06-17-2009, 10:26 PM #51
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Once during a freak storm, the electricity in our house went out and I was unable to access my hard drives for over five hours. My testicles grew to the size of small watermelons before rupturing and I was rushed to hospital. While I was recovering in ward 7G, I made friends with a small boy named Ross in the bed next to me. He died from cancer the next day so I took his Sony PSP.
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Old 06-17-2009, 10:27 PM #52
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Originally Posted by Jonas Brothers FTW! View Post
Once during a freak storm, the electricity in our house went out and I was unable to access my hard drives for over five hours. My testicles grew to the size of small watermelons before rupturing and I was rushed to hospital. While I was recovering in ward 7G, I made friends with a small boy named Ross in the bed next to me. He died from cancer the next day so I took his Sony PSP.
i lold hard
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Old 06-17-2009, 10:43 PM #53
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to bad its too long to sig.
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Old 06-17-2009, 10:45 PM #54
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the ****?
¿ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ

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?kcuf eht
ʇɥǝ ɟnɔʞ¿
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Old 06-17-2009, 11:02 PM #55
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This thread is making me lol out of my ***
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Old 06-17-2009, 11:58 PM #56
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This thread is making me lol out of my ***
samesies
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:27 AM #57
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bahahaha his site has so many, i want to read them all but i really don't want to read them all
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:27 AM #58
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lllllllllooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllll
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:36 AM #59
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sooo funny
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:40 AM #60
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My chest hurts from lol'ing while reading this thread.

Thanks ST
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:48 AM #61
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omfg this might be the most lol'iest thread ive read in awhile
This.
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:51 AM #62
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Win thread is full of Win.
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:51 AM #63
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I knew a guy in high school who couldn't talk very well and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher 'mum' and during recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our money back.
hahahahhaha
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