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Old 04-04-2009, 09:02 PM #1
Someone **** on the coats
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How to: Get Your First BJ

Ok, let me tell you how you get your first BJ.

So I was sitting in school one day and my friend comes up to me and tells me all about how this bangin hot girl thinks I'm kind of cute. Apparently she had seen me at a pool party over the summer (This was in september right after school started and I have that effect on girls when I'm in a bathing suit ) and liked what she saw. But I was a ***** and didn't really think much more than "Whatever, my friend is probably being an ******* but if it is true, at least some girl likes me".

Fast forward a month and I was standing at my locker getting ready to go home. Packin up, gettin ready for Friday night. Suddenly this girl (We'll call her Stacy) is standing right next to me. All I could croak out was "Wassup?". The rest of the conversation went something like this...

Stacy: Hey Derrickkkkk (Hello, my name is Derrick and for the record she did extend my name like that).
Me: Hey Stacy, what's goin on?
Stacy: So have you heard the news?
Me: (At this point I had a feeling of what was going on but I played dumb) Umm no what?
Stacy: I think you're cute.
Me: You're not so bad yourself (Slick huh?).
Stacy: Sooo my boyfriend broke up with me recently and I've been pretty lonely but I was wondering if you could help me out...
Me: (Blown away, no pun intended) What did you have in mind?
Stacy: Are you gonna be around tonight?
Me: Umm yea... in fact I have the house to myself tonight (My parents were with my older brother looking at colleges. How lucky was I so far. And no I did not have a house party in mind, I appreciate my belongings).
Stacy: Goooood. Gimme your address and I'll be over at 9.
Me: Aight, cool. (It was so hot, she wrote her info on my hand and I wrote mine on hers)

But now I'm freakin out. I'm so scared that I'm gonna **** something up, or do something retarded. But eventually I collect my self and set up for that night. My friend pulls through and drops some drinks off for me while I try to clean up a little (No homo).

So at 9 she shows up. Even though she only had her junior license, she stole her moms car and drove (So hot). As soon as I close the door we're on top of each other. Some how we get to the kitchen and start doin shots. Then she whispers to me and says "I want to give you a night you'll never forget". She rips off my pants and gets right in there. It was going to amazing but just as I was about to blow, my mom walks in, gets scared, and says you're moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought nah forget it, yo home to bel-air! I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby yo, homes smell you later! looked at my kingdom I was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince of bel-air.

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Old 04-04-2009, 09:04 PM #2
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First off, I have never kissed a girl until two weeks ago, but apparently this girl REALLY likes me. So when my mom went out for a few hours (11pm-2am) I invited her over. We ended up making out for a good 15 minutes until we stopped and she looked at me and said. "What do you want to do?"

Well, I was like "Do you wanna give me a blowjob?" and she asked me if I was hard and I was like "Hell Yeah!"

Anyways I lasted four minutes, but part way through I asked her if I could play Xbox will she's working hard as a joke. She laughed and I came in her mouth.

She asked for a drink and I got her some Arizona fruit punch, and we made out some more. After I told her I was ready for round two. She blew me again but after 10 minutes I told her she could finish me off with her hand.

Than I walked her home.

Best night of my life.

TL;DR - I got two BJ's and one HJ.

Yea, I didn't read your **** post.
Tits are life, *** is hometown.
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Last edited by pimp3leet : 04-04-2009 at 09:08 PM.
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:04 PM #3
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:05 PM #4
Bill The Butcher
Vote Tamany
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Did you ask if you could play xbox while she was doing it?
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:05 PM #5
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nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:07 PM #6
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you got me.
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:08 PM #7
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ctrl+f bel-air=ur loss
Just a small town girl....
TheMike-No way, dude.
Look how gangster he looks with that lean back, slightly closed eyes, shaggy hair at a formal event and a ****ty tie. OG Triple OG right there.

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Livin' in a lonely world....
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:09 PM #8
the batman
saving the world daily
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you got me, ****er
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:12 PM #9
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I crtl-f any long posts, good job.
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:12 PM #10
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Definately got me
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:13 PM #11
8 pages of infractions
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Easiest way to get a BJ

Ask her to marry you.


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Old 04-04-2009, 09:14 PM #12
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A couple of n64 games might sweeten the deal.
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:15 PM #13
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Lawls were had.
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:16 PM #14
broncoandxsvfan V2.0
missing Cali :(
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y do i always fall for that?
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:17 PM #15
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:17 PM #16
The **** winds are blowin
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Well played OP. Well played.

Wow, srsly, if you Ctrl+F every long post for bel air, you're a ****ing idiot.
Je suis Canadian
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:18 PM #17
money's the best texture
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bel air mother****er
9:33 EST Mike fails. 6/24/08
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:19 PM #18
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U got me damn, good story though
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:21 PM #19
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:22 PM #20
iTz AuStIn
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niiicccceeeeeeeeee... u got me there.
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Old 04-04-2009, 09:23 PM #21
Someone **** on the coats
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Originally Posted by FOXPROTO View Post
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo
Originally Posted by Grim~ View Post
you got me.
Originally Posted by the batman View Post
you got me, ****er
Originally Posted by PaintballerFourLife View Post
Definately got me
Originally Posted by AintSkurred View Post
Lawls were had.
Originally Posted by broncoandxsvfan V2.0 View Post
y do i always fall for that?
Originally Posted by BoneBreak View Post
Originally Posted by acoolguy77 View Post
Well played OP. Well played.

Wow, srsly, if you Ctrl+F every long post for bel air, you're a ****ing idiot.
Originally Posted by brydude92 View Post
U got me damn, good story though
Hahaha, sorry guys. I kind of did it though to make fun of the other BJ thread. Thanks for the props though!
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