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04-04-2009, 08:02 PM
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#1
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Someone **** on the coats
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York
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How to: Get Your First BJ
Ok, let me tell you how you get your first BJ.
So I was sitting in school one day and my friend comes up to me and tells me all about how this bangin hot girl thinks I'm kind of cute. Apparently she had seen me at a pool party over the summer (This was in september right after school started and I have that effect on girls when I'm in a bathing suit ) and liked what she saw. But I was a ***** and didn't really think much more than "Whatever, my friend is probably being an ******* but if it is true, at least some girl likes me".
Fast forward a month and I was standing at my locker getting ready to go home. Packin up, gettin ready for Friday night. Suddenly this girl (We'll call her Stacy) is standing right next to me. All I could croak out was "Wassup?". The rest of the conversation went something like this...
Stacy: Hey Derrickkkkk (Hello, my name is Derrick and for the record she did extend my name like that).
Me: Hey Stacy, what's goin on?
Stacy: So have you heard the news?
Me: (At this point I had a feeling of what was going on but I played dumb) Umm no what?
Stacy: I think you're cute.
Me: You're not so bad yourself (Slick huh?).
Stacy: Sooo my boyfriend broke up with me recently and I've been pretty lonely but I was wondering if you could help me out...
Me: (Blown away, no pun intended) What did you have in mind?
Stacy: Are you gonna be around tonight?
Me: Umm yea... in fact I have the house to myself tonight (My parents were with my older brother looking at colleges. How lucky was I so far. And no I did not have a house party in mind, I appreciate my belongings).
Stacy: Goooood. Gimme your address and I'll be over at 9.
Me: Aight, cool. (It was so hot, she wrote her info on my hand and I wrote mine on hers)
But now I'm freakin out. I'm so scared that I'm gonna **** something up, or do something retarded. But eventually I collect my self and set up for that night. My friend pulls through and drops some drinks off for me while I try to clean up a little (No homo).
So at 9 she shows up. Even though she only had her junior license, she stole her moms car and drove (So hot). As soon as I close the door we're on top of each other. Some how we get to the kitchen and start doin shots. Then she whispers to me and says "I want to give you a night you'll never forget". She rips off my pants and gets right in there. It was going to amazing but just as I was about to blow, my mom walks in, gets scared, and says you're moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought nah forget it, yo home to bel-air! I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby yo, homes smell you later! looked at my kingdom I was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince of bel-air.
tl;dr- BEST BJ OF MY LIFE
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04-04-2009, 08:04 PM
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#2
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Roll Tide
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Four Zero Five
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First off, I have never kissed a girl until two weeks ago, but apparently this girl REALLY likes me. So when my mom went out for a few hours (11pm-2am) I invited her over. We ended up making out for a good 15 minutes until we stopped and she looked at me and said. "What do you want to do?"
Well, I was like "Do you wanna give me a blowjob?" and she asked me if I was hard and I was like "Hell Yeah!"
Anyways I lasted four minutes, but part way through I asked her if I could play Xbox will she's working hard as a joke. She laughed and I came in her mouth.
She asked for a drink and I got her some Arizona fruit punch, and we made out some more. After I told her I was ready for round two. She blew me again but after 10 minutes I told her she could finish me off with her hand.
Than I walked her home.
Best night of my life.
TL;DR - I got two BJ's and one HJ.
Yea, I didn't read your **** post.
__________________
PCOC
GI
TRSS YK5
OKC RUMBLE15 653, 372, 68
Last edited by pimp3leet : 04-04-2009 at 08:08 PM.
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04-04-2009, 08:04 PM
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#3
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04-04-2009, 08:05 PM
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#4
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Vote Tamany
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Did you ask if you could play xbox while she was doing it?
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04-04-2009, 08:05 PM
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#5
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nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo
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04-04-2009, 08:07 PM
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#6
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Whysosrs?
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Victoria,TX
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 you got me. |
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04-04-2009, 08:08 PM
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#7
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))><((
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: NE
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ctrl+f bel-air=ur loss
__________________
Just a small town girl....
TheMike-No way, dude.
Look how gangster he looks with that lean back, slightly closed eyes, shaggy hair at a formal event and a ****ty tie. OG Triple OG right there.
ST- The Taylor Swift Thread: She makes our hearts melt!!
Livin' in a lonely world.... She took the midnight train goin' anywhere
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04-04-2009, 08:09 PM
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#8
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saving the world daily
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pittsburgh
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HAHAHAHAHAH
you got me, ****er
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04-04-2009, 08:12 PM
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#9
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JAWESOME
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Canada
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I crtl-f any long posts, good job.
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04-04-2009, 08:12 PM
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#10
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PB4LIndustries
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: [714] SoCal
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Definately got me
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04-04-2009, 08:13 PM
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#11
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The Original Legend
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Ft. Riley, KS
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Easiest way to get a BJ
Ask her to marry you.
EDIT:
__________________
p8ntball@ddict: If I had T-Mobile, you would be in my MyFaves
MR.JABM:Hi everyone, i'm snoller. I have an avatar changing addiction
Auctionjunkie!: If nothing else Scott you are passionate on your thoughts and topics. Kudos to you.
jdev: snoller, do you have the ability to make food that is not epic? or is everything you make just pretty epic?
TheMike: How do you take off a bra one handed? Theres too many styles of clasps, and I dont want to look like a fool in front of the woman..
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04-04-2009, 08:14 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago
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A couple of n64 games might sweeten the deal.
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04-04-2009, 08:15 PM
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#13
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I AINT EVA SKURRED
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: G-nett
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Lawls were had. |
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04-04-2009, 08:16 PM
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#14
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missing Cali :(
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Kadena AB, Japan
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y do i always fall for that?
__________________
U.S. Air Force
;)
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04-04-2009, 08:17 PM
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#15
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Miami
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__________________
My mother said to me,
if you are a soldier, you will become a general
if you are a monk, you will become the pope
instead
i was a painter, and became picasso
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04-04-2009, 08:17 PM
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#16
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The **** winds are blowin
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: > 313 <
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Well played OP. Well played.
Wow, srsly, if you Ctrl+F every long post for bel air, you're a ****ing idiot.
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04-04-2009, 08:18 PM
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#17
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money's the best texture
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Dirteh Jerz
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bel air mother****er
__________________
9:33 EST Mike fails. 6/24/08
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04-04-2009, 08:19 PM
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#18
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pbFASHION
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: mt.kisco
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U got me damn, good story though
__________________
Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, and ideas are bulletproof.
Feedback +8/-0
New York Drastic
I created the sound of madness.
XBL: Brydude12345
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04-04-2009, 08:21 PM
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#19
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Resident Video Embedder
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Mizzou
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When she's sleeping hold her nose shut then shove it in when she opens her mouth to breathe.
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04-04-2009, 08:22 PM
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#20
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GBR
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: 620
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niiicccceeeeeeeeee... u got me there.
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04-04-2009, 08:23 PM
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#21
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Someone **** on the coats
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FOXPROTO
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grim~
you got me. |
Quote:
Originally Posted by the batman
HAHAHAHAHAH
you got me, ****er
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PaintballerFourLife
Definately got me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AintSkurred
Lawls were had. |
Quote:
Originally Posted by broncoandxsvfan V2.0
y do i always fall for that?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BoneBreak
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Quote:
Originally Posted by acoolguy77
Well played OP. Well played.
Wow, srsly, if you Ctrl+F every long post for bel air, you're a ****ing idiot.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brydude92
U got me damn, good story though
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Hahaha, sorry guys. I kind of did it though to make fun of the other BJ thread. Thanks for the props though! |
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