[greenvertboy]

That was good....

[theubernoob]

bah?

[dna_gnirettiL]

Originally Posted by greenvertboy

Edit again: but reallly kiddies, listen to us.

ur both really queer.

[videokilldthecdradio]

lol

[The.KK]

hai

[Dikkens]

I decided to write a book...And one of the stories is

first time anal and why I can never go to temple

It was a random Saturday night..One of those night;s that just no matter what you do,you cant get laid.So the best thing to do is call a backup woman...The girl that I called is in my eyes perfect 10 when it comes ot certain things.....then the numbers go bit lower as you get to the face..See she is jewish (so am I) so she has the big nose thing going on.That for me is a turn off but the girl is a dancer with DD breast and just tight all around..I showed up at her house around 330 piss drunk...After some small talk we snuck into her room and I had her lock all the doors except one......This will be the reason why I cant go to temple anymore.Once we are both in bed it doesn't take long for foreplay to kick in...Hands are going places mouths are moving..Being the drunk ******* that I am I go for what I want and go for it fast.....Resistance is only so long...I was 69 teh girl when I decided to try a trick my cousin told me...Rub around her ******* to start the stimulation and get her comfortable with feeling pleasure there....Now I did this,but for a total of 3 minutes.You see usually you have to work hard when it comes to introduce something new into a sexual relation.But for me it took my foot in the door till I busted in faster than the DEA and elian Gonzales scandal..We were 69n when I had enough sitting around **** and I grab her and threw her on the bed.I proceeded to mount her and just ram my dick inside her ***.Now in the drunk state of mind I had not realize that not only is my dick A-not wrapped B-lubed and C-had no warned her or eased in I still went in for the kill...She let out a small yelp of pain followed by a WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING...I quickly responded "Dont worry once its in you will love it".Expecting my dick to be ripped out any minute I proceeded to go harder in and to ym surprise after the first 4 inches,it slid in..This is when the girl melted in my hands..The rest of the night was filled with her riding it,sucking it and telling me how much she wants it in deeper in her ***..Fortunately I was drunk and being drunk gives all guys the advantage of lasting longer than porn stars.We ****ed for hours and I did not come close to cumin. When it finally came time to *** I pull out and finished off on her face.

She proceeded to "clean" her self up and then lay next to me in her sisters bed.Being drunk and naked I did not realize the sun was now starting rise and shine........As well as her mother,I told her I would only lay down for 5 min and proceed to leaving.That failed........We woke up several hours later to her mom banging on the door asking her to come outside.I being the man that I am ran into the bathroom,naked,and told her to answer the door.I thought I was being secretive in the bathroom and that I was bulletproof. I was wrong.

You see,the dog decided that out of all mornings he would bark up the door that we had closed.The mom being the nosy (no pun) woman that she is decided to investigate only to find the door being locked.What we had forgotten was the adjacent bathroom room door.We left that unlocked. She apparently walked in on us sleeping naked then walked out,waited an hour then banged on the door. After about what seemed to take forever I was still standing,naked, in the bathroom. I crawled out and started getting my **** and got dressed.The daughter came back into the room and started asking me stuff. Now its not that Im an ******* or dont have feelings.But the truth is, it was 7Am I was hungover and worst of all, I had lost a sock.Now this would usually not bother me but these socks were brand spanking new. I was pist and wanted to leave. After about 5 minutes I said bye and rushed out the house without having the mom hear me..Or well in my head she didn't (the mom had locked herself in her room)...On the way home the girl and I texted until I fell asleep in my own bed...Now the reason I can never go back to temple is because the mom happens to be a big contributor to the temple and as you know,the more money you put in the higher power you have..the downs of being a jew sometimes dont work out..I personally like temple,the food saturday mornings is to die for...And also the service is interesting...But now I cant set foot in the same building because the simple fact that I will have to cross her path after she caught me,naked,without a blanket in her daughters bed AFTER she had taken me to her multi million dollar condo.......................But if it counts for anything,Im still ****ing her daughter

Hey Eric you listened to me! Welcome back.

You have some good stories, but I think youre going to need someone else write this book for you.

[greenvertboy]

What the **** happened here last night.....

[wakeboardr886]

crazyness

[DINNER_CAT]

what have I missed?

[auggs]

Anyone know what i should do? Situation is on first page.

[royalpaintball]

wasnt it just closed

[komodo_117]

So you know those guys in an area that are pretty much famous? Not really a celebrity, but, everyone within a hundred mile radius will know them? They'll show up at a city, get into the biggest party there, and everyone who didn't already know him, knows him by the end of the night?

I just pulled a number from one of those guy's flings.

*EDIT* I also have reason to believe he is a fellow PUA, but I can't confirm it.

[Lucky#Se7en]

Originally Posted by komodo_117

So you know those guys in an area that are pretty much famous? Not really a celebrity, but, everyone within a hundred mile radius will know them? They'll show up at a city, get into the biggest party there, and everyone who didn't already know him, knows him by the end of the night?

I just pulled a number from one of those guy's flings.

*EDIT* I also have reason to believe he is a fellow PUA, but I can't confirm it.

oh............my.....................god

[komodo_117]

Originally Posted by Lucky#Se7en

oh............my.....................god

[-olio- (Banned)]

I lol'd. Also I'm kind of upset that I'm not drunk yet, my only option is to drink alone right now and I'm not going to go that far...

[komodo_117]

I can't get too drunk tonight. I have work at 4am.

May make up something up, just so I don't feel out of the St. Patty's Day spirit.

Currently watching Boondock Saints though.

[Deadly Milk Man (Banned)]

Originally Posted by komodo_117

lmao wtf is this..

is this from something or just something completely random?

[komodo_117]

Originally Posted by Deadly Milk Man

lmao wtf is this..

is this from something or just something completely random?

The latter.

[MattDamnit]

Meh, It seems I always shoot to high for girls I like. I've been texting this girl everday all hours for about a week. Thought she liked me cause she was always telling me how paintball was badass and **** like that and I don't know many girls that would talk to someone that often if they didn't. Then one day I end up asking her why she was single. She then gets the hint that I like her and slightly but obviously tells me that she usually falls for good friends or people she's known for awhile. ****. She looks hot as hell too. And is one of those in charge girls. Which I think is hot but oh well.

[770link770]

Originally Posted by MattDamnit

Meh, It seems I always shoot to high for girls I like. I've been texting this girl everday all hours for about a week. Thought she liked me cause she was always telling me how paintball was badass and **** like that and I don't know many girls that would talk to someone that often if they didn't. Then one day I end up asking her why she was single. She then gets the hint that I like her and slightly but obviously tells me that she usually falls for good friends or people she's known for awhile. ****. She looks hot as hell too. And is one of those in charge girls. Which I think is hot but oh well.

1.) Usually not a good thing to do... I've learned that first hand
2.) Happened to me too... Turns out I got friend trapped. She is just giving you hope so that she doesn't lose you, but most likely doesn't have those feeling for you.

Try not texting her so much, give her some space and see what happens

[MattDamnit]

Alright, thanks man. I think the main reason we've been talking so much is we knew nothing about each other, but I'll defiantly take your advice man since it sounds about right ha.