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Old 03-14-2015, 01:10 AM #1
nickzme
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Talking Best paintball jokes/memes/hype ups (bring the fun)

Hey guys, I've been reading all over pbnation and I haven't really seen a forum for a lot of funny marker jokes, or paintball exclusive stuff that you'd see a guy wearing and just crack up. So anyways, I'd love to see the best stuff you come up with as I'm sure between the thousands of you, there's quite a bit of good material. Let's hear the hilarious!

On another note, Paintball pump up videos are absolutely amazing, feel free to post motivational paintball quotes, videos, etc. as well. You know, the stuff that makes you want to sprint down the field and unleash hell on the opposition.

It's all about the game! ENJOY!








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Old 03-16-2015, 12:48 PM #2
Medtactics
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I've compiled a list from other forums and so on had it for a while now collecting digital dust... about 32 quotes that I found most memorable.

Paintball quotes:

The only bounce a shocker should have is when it hits the bottom of a trash can.

The only bounce a Ion should have is when it hits the bottom of a trash can.

You eyeballin my stiffi?

Paintballers always have at least 8in barrels.

If you suck with the worst gun on the market, you're going to suck with the best gun on the market.

Its not the gear that makes the player, its the player that makes the gear.

Save a rock, throw an Ion.

You don't actually own pods... you own the rights to them. walk out with five... leave with five... doesn't matter if its the same five.

Let's just all rush together, there's no way they can shoot us all!

I play paintball so i can make dirty jokes and not get slapped.

Oh ohhhhhhh god she touched my barrel.

"I don't want your fuc*ing Ion!" Mike Phillips, founder and administrator of ******.

Wow they're shooting crazier than a toaster with a fork in it out there.

Pump players for the most part I mean they're they're kind of disturbed individuals from what I can tell. These are the kind of people that go hunting with a spear. They like to put themselves at a mechanical disadvantage to make the hunt, the game alot more interesting, alot more exciting. - Mike Philips

Its[pump play] like a gift from god. only smothered in chocolate and hot naked women.

Put on your Condom! protection is important, don't wanna get any of these guys pregnant.

I knelt on it ref! Even the hit on my face happened when I was kneeling down!

I don't know what it is, all I know is that it shoots money

"I'm not a malicious person, but the feeling you get from shooting someone with a paintball is beyond words" - Oliver Lang

As an angel owner, I enjoy my false sense of securtiy.

I'm an artist, don't wipe my work until the ref checks it.

You know your addicted to paintball when someone at your field gets knocked out, and someone yells,
"Does he have a pulse!?"
You say...
"Nope, hes got a Vlocity"

1st person: "why isn't the damn thing shooting?"
2nd Person: "maybe cus you have half the damn woods stuck up your barrel?"

Ramping boards are like tampons, every girl needs one.

Just grab the pump handle, and pretend like you've found your dads playboy collection.

Playing anything other than semi in walk on is like going into a whorehouse with a hundred dollar bill then bragging to your buddies you scored.

Was thinking about getting a Viewloader Quantum. Found one on Ebay for like $140 which is a steal.

Paintball 2 extreams:
1. we aren't afraid to get down and dirty
2. we know how to listen to directions
3. we have at least a 10 inch barrel
4. we can fire off 100's of rounds without getting tired.
5. we always wear protection
6. we LOVE to be aggressive
7. we never forget to lube.
8. money is no limit
9. we can squeeze into tight spots
10.we play in different positions
11.were quick to reload
12.we make sure our balls are in perfect condition
13.we can use any holes
14.spraying is no problem
15.we have quick finger action

Make sure your balls are good, your barrel is in tight, your all lubed up and cocked.

Yeah, I've put almost a grand into my Ion...

If paintball was easy, then it would be called Football.

The M98 is not a particularly light gun, on the other hand it also feels tough. Most light guns feel like cheap toys, the M98 feels like a serious weapon of war. If you can't take the weight, play a new sport.
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"The M98 is not a particularly light gun, on the other hand it also feels tough. Most light guns feel like cheap toys, the M98 feels like a serious weapon of war. If you can't take the weight, play a new sport."

Model 98 setup:
Scion hopper with Magna drive clutch with Z2 internals and board upgrade on a RD Center Feed
Vertical grip Adaptor with Pro-team Intruder Vertical bottle grip with dual expansion chamber
Maddog Designz Pro Seal Aluminum power-tube modded for RD Wicked bolt
Double trigger with homemade TechT hairpin kit
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:52 PM #3
cye604
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Whenever we our getting our ***** whooped at West Point, the generals like to quote troops from the Battle of the Bulge. My personal favorites:

"They have us surrounded. Those poor bastards!"

"Come on boys, do you wanna live forever?"
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Old 03-18-2015, 01:24 PM #4
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Wow, medtactics, those are absolutely amazing.
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Old 03-19-2015, 10:13 AM #5
RobbertPaulson
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I hate it when my balls sweat, so I keep them in a cool dry space until I'm ready to use them. And if they do sweat I dry them off with a towel before placing them in my hopper.
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Old 03-24-2015, 01:22 AM #6
GundogHitman
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I sure hope your face is clean.... cuz I'm bout to drop my bawls on it!
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Old 03-24-2015, 02:41 AM #7
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When people ask me why I like to play paintball I tell them it's because I love when people cover me in white stuff from their balls.
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Old 03-24-2015, 08:36 AM #8
Medtactics
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zcason View Post
When people ask me why I like to play paintball I tell them it's because I love when people cover me in white stuff from their balls.
This quote "I play paintball so i can make dirty jokes and not get slapped."
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"The M98 is not a particularly light gun, on the other hand it also feels tough. Most light guns feel like cheap toys, the M98 feels like a serious weapon of war. If you can't take the weight, play a new sport."

Model 98 setup:
Scion hopper with Magna drive clutch with Z2 internals and board upgrade on a RD Center Feed
Vertical grip Adaptor with Pro-team Intruder Vertical bottle grip with dual expansion chamber
Maddog Designz Pro Seal Aluminum power-tube modded for RD Wicked bolt
Double trigger with homemade TechT hairpin kit
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Old 04-05-2015, 07:37 PM #9
Ben Onish
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People in the staging areas...
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Old 04-06-2015, 01:51 PM #10
PsychoMag
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^^ that was marginally funny.
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Old 04-19-2015, 10:04 PM #11
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When people comment on how fast I can shoot with a pump
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Old 04-21-2015, 03:50 PM #12
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Paintball is the game of Life at 300 FPS
Why do I play Stock Class? Because I CAN.
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Old 04-21-2015, 04:58 PM #13
DyE 5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pyrate Jim View Post
Why do I play Stock Class? Because I CAN.
I like to think of paintball as chess, but with guns lol
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