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Old 04-30-2008, 01:42 AM #1
dwdrums
 
 
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Exclamation Paintball safety project: please look

Hey guys,
So I had to write a 10 page paper on paintball safety, and now I need to do some follow up with it. I made a brochure, and was planning on passing it out, but didnt get the chance. I need to present the brochure and peoples reaction/responses to the class, so I figured I would post it on here and let you give me some feedback and/or discuss it. I would really appreciate any responses.





(pretend this is folded all pretty like a brochure )

I know that some of it seems like common sense, but keep in mind I had to dumb it down for a general audience
And please keep posts mature and respectful... I will have to show this page to my professor

Discuss/respond

Thanks guys
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Michael: Am I going to tell them? No, I'm not going to tell them. I don't see the point of that. As a doctor you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.
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Last edited by dwdrums : 04-30-2008 at 01:44 AM.
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Old 04-30-2008, 12:32 PM #2
juice_88
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You spelled Wrestling wrong.
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Old 04-30-2008, 04:18 PM #3
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thanks, good catch
(in my defense, I didnt make the chart, found it on some website. but thanks)
also, something got messed up on the front cover.... the bottom is supposed to say "an overview and safety guide"

anyone have feedback? please?
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Michael: Am I going to tell them? No, I'm not going to tell them. I don't see the point of that. As a doctor you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.
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Last edited by dwdrums : 04-30-2008 at 04:21 PM.
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Old 04-30-2008, 07:40 PM #4
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Seeing as how I just had to make a brochure for my Professional Writing and Design class, I'll actually take the time to really critique the **** out of your document, now that I have the time to.

Use a different font for your body text. Right now you're using a sans serif font, which is more difficult to read when it's used for the body text for something.

Using an oldstyle, or serif, font for your body text you're not only making it easier to read but you're also adding contrast between your body text and your headings.

Remove the underlines from your headings. It makes them harder to read and you can make your headings stand out in much better ways than underlining them.

Don't bold the headings; instead, use a sans serif font that is already heavy. Bolding fonts that aren't supposed to be bolded make them look squished, making them a bit harder to read.

Stop using italics so much. It doesn't add to the design aspect at all.

Take away the hyphen in the second line on the middle page, or add more hyphens; one line is not a list.

Even up all the columns on the second page; it looks silly with uneven columns.
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Old 04-30-2008, 08:17 PM #5
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ok, thanks. not quite what i was looking for, but i appreciate the feedback.
the point of the assignment was just to present the information in a different format, not necessarily to make a professional quality brochure
anyone have any feedback on the information presented?
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Michael: Am I going to tell them? No, I'm not going to tell them. I don't see the point of that. As a doctor you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.
The few. The Proud. The Christian Paintballers.

Last edited by dwdrums : 05-01-2008 at 10:03 AM.
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Old 04-30-2008, 08:40 PM #6
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looks decent. it covers the obvious things like always wear a mask. not bad
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Old 04-30-2008, 08:46 PM #7
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I like it. Very surprising and fascinating. Makes me want to play paintball more now.
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Old 04-30-2008, 10:04 PM #8
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it's cute.

you missed a few things like putting oil in the fill nipple. you might want to mention how most player's where padding. The use of chronos. Barrel condoms. few small things.
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Old 04-30-2008, 10:05 PM #9
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interesting. good information... i honestly did not know any of those statistics. ill keep them in mind next time someone tries to bash pb.
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Old 04-30-2008, 10:05 PM #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Eggman View Post
it's cute.

you missed a few things like putting oil in the fill nipple. you might want to mention how most player's where padding. The use of chronos. Barrel condoms. few small things.
Wear.
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Old 05-01-2008, 03:55 AM #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Eggman View Post
it's cute.

you missed a few things like putting oil in the fill nipple. you might want to mention how most player's where padding. The use of chronos. Barrel condoms. few small things.
For a High School class.. you might not want to use the word condom.... just a small tip. LOL.... tip.

Barrel Covers/Socks should work though.
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Old 05-01-2008, 10:03 AM #12
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thanks, good point, but this is actually college, so i think its fine
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Michael: Am I going to tell them? No, I'm not going to tell them. I don't see the point of that. As a doctor you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.
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Old 05-02-2008, 05:53 PM #13
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anyone else have any feedback?
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Michael: Am I going to tell them? No, I'm not going to tell them. I don't see the point of that. As a doctor you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.
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Old 05-02-2008, 06:41 PM #14
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Looks really good. If I only knew paintball involved guns and you do get 'shot' and my son wanted to play. After reading this i would let him play.
(I don't have a son. Or daughter)
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Old 05-02-2008, 07:38 PM #15
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thanks xsoulsx... thats exactly what i was looking for. anyone else?
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Michael: Am I going to tell them? No, I'm not going to tell them. I don't see the point of that. As a doctor you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.
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Old 05-02-2008, 10:02 PM #16
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Be prepared to defend your statistics. Make sure you can explain where those statistics came from and what an "injury" means (Does a sprained wrist in basketball count? Is pulling a muscle in tennis an injury?)

Overall I think it's pretty well done.

I would have the second part say "How to play safe" or "How to keep paintball safe" as opposed to "How to MAKE it safe." How to make it safe sounds like paintball is dangerous in its present form.

Good evidence in the study by Dr. Vinger. That really supports your call for all players to wear masks. Out of those .2 out of a 1000 injuries, you might want to try to find out what percent of those injured had masks on.

Also make sure you say something about FPS speeds. Good job.
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Old 05-25-2008, 03:28 PM #17
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overall it looks great.
but i agree with Dr. Eggman with adding something about barrel comdoms and velocity.
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Old 06-22-2008, 08:39 AM #18
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i love it!
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Old 06-25-2008, 10:07 PM #19
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Thumbs up

I was reading a book on paintball and it said that paintball is the safest sport in the world, as voted and proved by several insurance companies, and by the same people, proved that it is safer than bowling, golf, football, and just sitting in your house!
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Old 07-02-2008, 06:18 PM #20
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Did you add Barral Condoms / All the New Protective Gear they have for the sport.
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