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Old 03-11-2008, 05:08 AM #1
TommyG 69
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Being British

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Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign! Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke. Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts. 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate. British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents. 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth. A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E; in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. and finally...In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet. If you're proud to be British, send this on!
Worryingly true.. The respect for my fellow country men has just gone down a couple of notches..
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Old 03-11-2008, 05:56 AM #2
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19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
That could've been 20 if my brother didn't stop me

Good read
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Old 03-11-2008, 10:02 AM #3
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....who would have thought that we were once the rulers of the world....

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Old 03-11-2008, 10:21 AM #4
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Last weekend i drove mi first 100m with a rent car at LPP (Portuguese League) but all the people told me that i was driving in the wrong way, in fact, one of the guys told me that he wanted to call the police, so i think im getting a bit british.

God save the Queen, left driving, Sainsburys pasta salad and chavs!!

(PS:I dont have driving license )
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Old 03-11-2008, 11:27 AM #5
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Thank god im not brit! 8)
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Old 03-11-2008, 12:33 PM #6
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im happy your not a brit
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Old 03-11-2008, 01:12 PM #7
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im not a brit but most of the things you said that only happened in britland tend to occur here in portugal also . . . =S
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Old 03-11-2008, 02:38 PM #8
bryan mta
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i love the fact im a brit
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Old 03-11-2008, 03:41 PM #9
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'3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue'

I couldve DIED???
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Old 03-11-2008, 04:40 PM #10
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Yes, if you choke on it :|
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Old 03-11-2008, 05:06 PM #11
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I wish I were British...
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Old 03-11-2008, 05:09 PM #12
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I wish I were British...
why is that? apart from the wicked accent we have (northerners excluded, their accents are just silly)
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Old 03-11-2008, 08:27 PM #13
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why is that? apart from the wicked accent we have (northerners excluded, their accents are just silly)
It's mainly the accent. And my love of Keira Knightley.
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Old 03-11-2008, 08:53 PM #14
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I'm pretty sure this is the exact same thing i saw for America. but still a good read no matter which country you are making fun of.
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Old 03-11-2008, 09:08 PM #15
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we had a guy drive down interstate 95 last year and cause like 6 deaths
I-95 is a big highway by my house
I wish i went to london to get some fish and chips but warm beer go die
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Old 03-12-2008, 04:33 AM #16
TommyG 69
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And my love of Keira Knightley.
I share that love! just something about her
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Old 03-13-2008, 04:19 PM #17
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nah its all about keeley hazell
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Old 03-13-2008, 05:54 PM #18
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I share that love! just something about her
i want to share the love but not after you have been there
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Old 03-13-2008, 10:50 PM #19
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I called her first.
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Old 03-14-2008, 03:26 AM #20
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Giselle Bundchen

Anyone else is second best (apart form my girlfriend of course )

Jeff
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Old 03-14-2008, 05:46 AM #21
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Jeff Jeff Jeff... and what about that date that you and Jessica Biel went on...
Are you forgetting about Jessica...I remember your face in the morning...
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

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