Originally posted by jackhammergf
ARE YOU SERIOUS!?????????????
Of course not. I don't listen to music before a game ... in fact, I don't wear underwear when playing painball either ... I usually do shower before a tournament, though ... I try to not show up hungover, but some of you know what being on a team is like ... I have very tender skin on my scrotum and have a tendancy towards developing a rash if there's too much friction down there on a humid day ... my dog doesn't like people ... she likes other animals even less ... she likes me and the dudes from my previous team ... well, most of them anyway ... she hated Jeff, must've known he was ultimately going to play a role in ****ing everything up ... not sure why the dog likes JC, though; he even scares my kids ... well, that's not true, they actually like him quite a bit, but everytime they forget his name they ask about "your friend with the big smile" ... they're pretty polite when ya think about it ... I haven't had hemorroids in quite some time; don't think I really miss them, though ... Chris Cole can sometime be embarrassing to be on the field with, but it's funny to watch him when someone really pisses him off ... if I was gay, I would really miss going down on women ... since I'm not gay, I have mastered the art of making a woman climax in under 90 seconds ... I bet you guys don't believe that, though ... that's okay, if they had a girlfriend of age, they'd learn the hard way that Buck is a true mac daddy ... speaking of which, pimpin' ain't easy, kids; keeping a nookie network together can be quite a challenge at times ... so, did I ever tell you about my scrotum? ... which reminds me, have I ever told you about an old teammate of mine named Dusty? There's a scary World Cup memory ... who wouldn't point a video camera at a door when someone is laughing manically as they're about to walk through said door? ... anyhow ... then, there was, like, this other guy ... forget about the scrotum, though, that was sort of personal ... but yeah, I like music, just not before a game ... unless someone else is playing it ... and if it is sucky music, I get more excited about spanking that same team on the field later on ... but anyhow ... time for another bowel movement ... thank you, drive thru