Small talk is lonely and obsessed with fleshlights, and I'm bored and all of my threads have sucked so far. So here we go. None of these items are individually bannable, so I'm hoping they aren't bannable combined as one.
- Lays Stacks (my preferance, holds up better)/Pringles potato chip can
- Foam rubber
- 1 1/4'' o-ring
Empty the chips out of the can. You can use whatever brand and flavor you prefer, but we like the one shown here for the container’s ergonomic shape and durable, colorful plastic. Lay out the foam and trim to fit the length of the container if necessary. The length of the foam can be up to a half inch longer than the length of the can.
Unroll the condom and drop the O-ring inside. If you use a lubricated condom, turn it inside out first, so the lube is on the inner surface.
Lay the condom along the foam with the open end slightly above the edge, and mark across where the O-ring lays in the condom. Cut the foam into two pieces along this line.
Roll up the smaller piece of foam and push it into the bottom of the can. Lay the condom against the shorter edge of the other piece of foam so that the tip and the O-ring are hanging over one end and the open top of the condom is hanging over the other. Roll up the foam with the condom inside. The O-ring should be flat against one end of the foam roll, and the top of the condom should be sticking out of the center of the other end.
With the scissors, make a nick in the tip of the condom, just enough so some air can get through. Insert the foam roll into the chip container, making sure the open end of the condom stays above the top of the foam. Leave about ½” of foam above the rim of the can.
Use a nail or screwdriver to poke a small hole on the side of the can near the bottom.
Optional: If desired, use a pink or red marker to draw a vagina or lips on the foam around the center hole before covering the foam with the condom.
Carefully stretch the condom around the rim of the can and over the lip so it covers the foam. The lip of the can will hold the condom in place.
To use your homemade flashlight toy, squirt some water-based, non-greasy lube into the condom and insert your penis. Cover the hole in the can with the tip of your finger to control the amount of “suction” you get. Closing the hole will increase the suction, so leave it open as you stroke in, and cover it on the out stroke.
Remove the foam roll and replace the condom after use (or rinse and reuse, if you’re really cheap, I know I am.
). Use a textured condom turned inside out for more stimulation. Because the condom has a small opening on the end, the foam at the bottom of the can will periodically need to be replaced.
When stored with the lid on, the homemade flashlight can be conveniently camouflaged as an innocent can of potato chips (the can on the left has an advantage because its lid is opaque).. However, you need to release the edge of the condom from the lip of the can before you put the top on. If the condom is stretched around the top when you put the lid on, the lid will cut through the thin rubber of the condom. Leave the top of the condom loose, push the foam in, and cover with the lid. To use, just pop the top, pull the foam out a bit, and restretch the rubber.