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Old 07-12-2005, 07:09 PM #1
PSUGhost
Penn State Paintball
 
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Location: Cleveland, OH
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Customers say the darndest things

Customer say something really funny? Or really agrivating? Share it. Please do not list any product names or company names.

Customer:"I'm having trouble getting the eye on my cocker to work"
Rep: "Is it plugged into the E-blade properly?"
Customer: "I don't have an Eblade just a hinge frame"

The ever popular:
"I swear I didn't touch a thing" (Bolt is upside down, 3-way hoses are all messed up and the pump arm is gone.)

"I just bought a 3-way off ebay and the barbs are messed up. Will you replace it for me?"

"I bought this _______ back in February for X. You now sell it for less, can I have the difference back?"

"I saw that ($40)item on clearance 3 months ago on ________ for $9, will you match the price?"

"My friend is going to sell me his used Goggles for $35, but I'd rather have new ones. Can you beat his price?"

Customer: "How much are the gloves?"
Rep: "$46.95"
Customer: "And the Bolt?"
Rep: "44.95"
Customer: "I'll give you $40 for both"

Last edited by PSUGhost : 07-13-2005 at 12:11 AM.
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Old 07-12-2005, 07:11 PM #2
spyder_dude
shred
 
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C: "look, the co2 is almost full, you give me discount"
me: we have to drain the bottle before we fill it
C: "but its almost full, give me discount"
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Old 07-12-2005, 07:24 PM #3
Jbuzz
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11 year old kid walks into the store:
"Do you guys have any ramping boards for spyders?" he was dead serious
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Old 07-12-2005, 08:28 PM #4
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Kid asked if he bought a ___ chip for his spyder if it would shoot like the DM5s.
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Old 07-12-2005, 08:50 PM #5
spedhunter88
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1. its nice to see everyone in the industry, both player and shop keep hate noobs
2. Ill remember to visit this thread when i need a good laugh
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Old 07-12-2005, 10:42 PM #6
TwistedPBMom
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I certainly do not hate them as they are 95% of my income. I love having the new little guys out, seeing the smiles on their faces when they come back in from a game, watching them showing each other their "hits", talking about ammo and being a sniper. Don't get me wrong, I love tourney players, too (my son is one) but they aren't near as much fun!

Funniest thing I've heard lately is.... I put up a small tv/dvd player so that the customers could watch pb dvds while waiting in line to check in, for air, etc. I generally show Cereal Killerz, Dynasty Dysected and NPPL dvds (since I don't have to censor for language). Several times I've had new players ask me "is that going on here now?" I guess they think the tv is a security camera...
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Old 07-13-2005, 02:10 PM #7
duka
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There were a few new kids at a local field probly about 10yrs old, My team and I had our jerseys on, and because they are lettered one of the kids goes.."Are those guys PRO?!!?(dead serious), and the other kid goes, "no they are only semi-pro"..lol that was the highlight of my day
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Old 07-13-2005, 02:42 PM #8
Capital Paintball
 
 
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Customer phone call:
C. When i put my ear to the barrel, it sounds like its leaking.
Me. Remove the tank from the gun, then put your ear to the barrel. Do you still hear the leak?
C. yea
Me. thats not a leak, your hearing the ocean.
C. well i do live near the water.



or the classic
(ring ring) Capital Paintball can i help you?
C. yea do you sell paintballs?
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Old 07-13-2005, 03:07 PM #9
impulse_rocka (Banned)
 
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lol

kids talking to hte owner of the store and is in a real panic so i walk over to see whats up

guy- my cocker's lazer wont work
owner- cockers dont ahve lazers
guy- yea they do *pointed at the ram*
owner- thats your ram
guy- when i bought it from ebay the owner of it said it shot teh lazers


i d.k i htought i was funny
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Old 07-13-2005, 03:58 PM #10
punch
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Quote:
Originally Posted by impulse_rocka
lol

kids talking to hte owner of the store and is in a real panic so i walk over to see whats up

guy- my cocker's lazer wont work
owner- cockers dont ahve lazers
guy- yea they do *pointed at the ram*
owner- thats your ram
guy- when i bought it from ebay the owner of it said it shot teh lazers


i d.k i htought i was funny
haha that's great
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Old 07-13-2005, 04:02 PM #11
Team Ace of Spades
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lol

maybe he meant laser pointer sight?
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Old 07-13-2005, 04:05 PM #12
kavon
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TwistedPBMom
I certainly do not hate them as they are 95% of my income. I love having the new little guys out, seeing the smiles on their faces when they come back in from a game, watching them showing each other their "hits", talking about ammo and being a sniper. Don't get me wrong, I love tourney players, too (my son is one) but they aren't near as much fun!

Funniest thing I've heard lately is.... I put up a small tv/dvd player so that the customers could watch pb dvds while waiting in line to check in, for air, etc. I generally show Cereal Killerz, Dynasty Dysected and NPPL dvds (since I don't have to censor for language). Several times I've had new players ask me "is that going on here now?" I guess they think the tv is a security camera...
lol, I agree with ya. The new players are alot funner =)
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Old 07-13-2005, 04:20 PM #13
Team Ace of Spades
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this is a great thread idea...im subscribed
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Old 07-13-2005, 07:27 PM #14
Wierd-Guy
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 has been a member for 10 years
,

Lately it seems like there have been a lot of common questions, in person and over the phone, that are... lets say, "odd". "M" is myself and "O" is the owner, my boss.

I fill a Co2 tank for one customer and the next one in line asks "Do you fill Co2 tanks here?". Also, the fill station is less than ten feet, and in plain sight, of the counter.

C: How much is 1000 paintballs?
M: $50 but you can get a whole case, 2000 balls, for just $15 more. You can bring back whatever you don't use today to play with at a later date.
C: Oh well I'm trying to save money so I'll just take the 1000.


C: Do you sell hoppers here?
The hoppers are in the glass case right in front of them.


An arrogant member of one of the groups I ran the paperwork for last month,
C: Why does it cost so much to play here when I can go off and pay only $-- to play a -unnamed renegade field-.
O: Well, you see there are three reasons. Quality, Saftey, and Bisiness. The field you mentioned, not to try to talk down about them, is lacking in those three areas. First, there is no organization. Sometimes, a guy might bring paint and air out to sell, other times you have to make an hour, or more, long trip to get those certain nessesaries you need to play. And you never know what it's going to be. Second, I think they MIGHT have ONE working chronograph. If they even use one it is something else all together. *How many times have you heard "it was shooting 2-- last time, no need to check it again.* Third, we're a bisiness, I need to make up my expenses and the cost of 18-25 hours week for my refs, my managers, and then have a little bit left for me to play on. I'm sorry but the field has major expenses.

After hearing that I thought "And you don't get a freebee because you're ignorant.*


C: How much are Nitrous Oxide tanks?
M: $75
C: But they're only $72 online!


C: Well, I bought it online because the one you had on the wall wasn't ------- (color).
M: Well... *takes the same color gun off the display shelf*


Why does every kid with a Compressed Air tank take it off his gun and then watch it get filled THROUGH the fill nipple!


C: My tanks needs a fill.
I take the tank, which I filled 2 games before, and dump 16 oz of Co2 out of the tank. The things a glacier.
M: That'll be $4 and you're going to have to wait half an hour while your tank recovers.
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Old 07-13-2005, 07:44 PM #15
kavon
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wierd-Guy
C: My tanks needs a fill.
I take the tank, which I filled 2 games before, and dump 16 oz of Co2 out of the tank. The things a glacier.
M: That'll be $4 and you're going to have to wait half an hour while your tank recovers.
ROFL
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Old 07-14-2005, 12:00 AM #16
Master_Flea
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i crack up when i get asked to fill up their "nitrate" tank lol

or those kids that have been playing for a year and still whear snow jackets and snow pants

ooo and teh ones that call themselvs out when theres no one left on their team

or when the're 3 rows of kids behind the start bunker

what i hate though is when the renters ask me to clean their goggles after every game when there is a cleaning station less than 5 feet away, and then are too lazy so they wait 10 minutes for me to finish what i was doing (teching rentals)
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Old 07-14-2005, 12:10 AM #17
Bob Sandifer
 
 
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Location: Dalton Ga
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Monday of this week:
C's Dad on phone: We just got my sons shocker back from you guys and it will not shoot and when he sent it to you it worked fine.
Tech: Did he check the battery?
C: My son took it out.
Tech: So there is no battery in the gun now?
C: No
Tech: Would you mind putting it back in the grip so we can test the gun?
C: ok give me a minute....ok its in.
Tech: Will it turn on now?
C: No
Tech: Is the battery good and did you plug the battery into the connector?
C: What connector? The battery is new.
Tech: You have to connect the little black cap onto the battery
C: It works now
Tech: Glad we could help
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Old 07-14-2005, 12:29 AM #18
Bob Sandifer
 
 
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At Chicago PSP
C: I really like your stuff. My brother has one of those .....boards and he hates it and we would like to use yours. Do you sponsor D3 teams?
T: We are the ones that make that .....board.
C: Oh..do you sponsor teams?

Shop this week
C: My gun worked fine before I sent it to you guys.
T: Then why did you send it to us?
C: It would not turn on
T: What is it doing now?
C: It will not turn on
T: Give me your service ticket number?
C: I did not get one.
T: Did you get a service sheet in the return package?
C: Huh? The guy on the phone just gave me your .......address and I sent it.
T: We dont have a store in that state.
C: Isnt this ..........?
T: no this is TAG in Dalton Georgia. Where did you get our number?
C: Off your website
T:You do realize you did not send your gun to us right?
C: Yea
T: Good luck
.................
Walk in customer
(Customer standing in the middle of 5 service benches with all techs working on paintball guns. No retail products on the wall...only service equipment and parts.)
C: Do you fixpaintball guns?
Tech: No but we are thinking about branching out.
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Old 07-14-2005, 01:33 AM #19
kavon
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Sandifer
At Chicago PSP
C: I really like your stuff. My brother has one of those .....boards and he hates it and we would like to use yours. Do you sponsor D3 teams?
T: We are the ones that make that .....board.
C: Oh..do you sponsor teams?
LMAO!, Its 12:30 here so it took me a minute to get it because I forgot about the product names thing so I didnt get the ......board but alls good. I figured it out
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Old 07-14-2005, 01:43 AM #20
PSUGhost
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Yesterday:

C: I want you to know that you guys are a bunch of theives. I placed an order with you 2 months ago and got nothing.
Rep: Sir do you have an order number or the name the order was placed under?
C: Yeah, its order number 915992676 and Under _________
Rep: Sir our number system doesn't start with a 9.
C: This is the $(# I keep dealing with. I better get a full refund right now or I'm calling the cops.
Rep: What was the order for?
C: A Kenmore Dishwasher
Rep: We don't carry Dishwashers
C: Isn't this ___________
Rep: No this is O2 Sports, we sell paintball equipment
*Phone hangs up*

Got this customer and nearly had a heart attack:
C: Hey I just got $1200 for my birthday and have never played paintball but want to. Can I just give you my debit card number and you send me $1200 worth of good stuff as I'm too lazy too look it all up.

Got a drunk order last month:
*Phone rings*
Me: O2 Sports, How can I help you?
C: Hey man, yo, you have a really proffessional voice. It's all like How can I help you and $&*@.
Me: Thanks, what can I do for you?
C: I need one of those...things. You know the ones that goes right here...
Me: I can't see your hands over the phone sir
C: Those black things.
Me: A cocking rod? A back Block? A Pump Arm?
C: A pump arm! Hold on, Dang! Talk about pump arms, I'd like to pump that hottie!
(Spend 20 minutes trying to find out what type while he procceeds to talk about some girl)
Me: How did you want to pay for this?
C: My Plastic card ID type thing
Me: Number?
C: Oh, let me get it... (Sounds of something crashing in the background and curses of "Where the heck is my dang wallet")
C: It's uh....well...4-2...no I think that's a 7...DANG those are SMALL numbers. Can I just mail you my card and you do it for me?

Last edited by PSUGhost : 07-14-2005 at 01:59 AM.
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Old 07-14-2005, 01:44 AM #21
PSUGhost
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Sandifer
At Chicago PSP
C: I really like your stuff. My brother has one of those .....boards and he hates it and we would like to use yours. Do you sponsor D3 teams?
T: We are the ones that make that .....board.
C: Oh..do you sponsor teams?
I agree, funniest one so far.
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