[MontyPython=<3]

Originally Posted by eclipseego1117

Uncle and Dad on my uncles porch chillen after dinner

some conversation about sex then this

Uncle:soo tj remember your first blow job
me(tj): yeah

Dad: yeah how did it taste

they lol'd i went to go play xbox

i LOLed HARD

[Milky Spore]

Originally Posted by dvskidsec

mom- why did i go into your closet and find a fake wall put up?
me- i have no idea what your talking about
mom- im talking about the pot your growing in my ****ing house
me- i have no idea what your talking about
mom- get that **** out of my house!
me - "it" is a lady treat her with respect shes gunna make me some money
mom- get "her" the **** outta my house
me- if she go's i go


a week later i moved in with dad

Lol.

[im a machine gun (Banned)]

Mom: hey
me: hey
mom: have you heard about that thread "worst thing your parents have ever asked you/talked about
me: yea..viva la nation...why?
mom: because 99.9% of those stories are complete ****ing shens
me: troof
mom: kthxbye
me: peace *****

[dwion1337 v.2]

Originally Posted by im a machine gun

Mom: hey
me: hey
mom: have you heard about that thread "worst thing your parents have ever asked you/talked about
me: yea..viva la nation...why?
mom: because 99.9% of those stories are complete ****ing shens
me: troof
mom: kthxbye
me: peace *****

lo ****ing l. troof. and reported for using n-word

[SUR3 S}{oT (Banned)]

Originally Posted by im a machine gun

Mom: hey
me: hey
mom: have you heard about that thread "worst thing your parents have ever asked you/talked about
me: yea..viva la nation...why?
mom: because 99.9% of those stories are complete ****ing shens
me: troof
mom: kthxbye
me: peace *****

I lulz'd at that last phrase.

[[JUSTIN]]

The worst thing was when my grandpa told me he was disappointed in me. He has shaped me into who I am, I respect him more than any other person in my life, everything that I like about myself I learned from him, he's my hero, I put extreme value in every word that comes out of his mouth...so to hear him say that he was disappointed in me was really devastating.

When we moved into our new house a couple of years ago my parents had an awkward conversation with me about not having sex in the hot tub. Basically on the...we won't if you don't premise.

[9 Emus Strong]

Originally Posted by [JUSTIN]

The worst thing was when my grandpa told me he was disappointed in me. He has shaped me into who I am, I respect him more than any other person in my life, everything that I like about myself I learned from him, he's my hero, I put extreme value in every word that comes out of his mouth...so to hear him say that he was disappointed in me was really devastating.

When we moved into our new house a couple of years ago my parents had an awkward conversation with me about not having sex in the hot tub. Basically on the...we won't if you don't premise.

Your post was a complete buzz kill.

[LeetSawse]

Mom - Chuck, do you look at porn?
Me- No mom, it gives me spyware.
Mom - oh, okay...


awkward

[keepitfaded]

Originally Posted by LeetSawse

Mom - Chuck, do you look at porn?
Me- No mom, it gives me spyware.
Mom - oh, okay...


awkward

i dont have spyware

[Antichrist_V2]

After watching a movie with my girlfriend...

Dad: So what did you do after the movie?
Me: the movie was only 2 hours, and then she left.. that's all.
Dad:... She was here for almost 9 hours.
Me: **** what time is it?!
Dad: You put the lotion in motion.. Didn't you
Me:

[Univern72]

Me: Hey, mom, can I take the whipped cream to GF's house?
Mom: (looks at me sharply) What do you need it for?
Me: We're going to make pancakes. Whipped cream and strawberries work well with pancakes.
Mom: So you're eating pancakes, huh?
Me: ...Yeah.
Mom: I'm sure that's all you'll be eating.



The previous night, I had had a bunch of friends over and we ended up using a crapload of whipped cream on our pumpkin pie.
Mom: You used up all the whipped cream.
Me: ...k?
Mom: Go get more.
Me: Now?
Mom: Yes, go now.
Me: I have to pay for it?
Mom: Here's money. Go.
Fortunately, I wasn't busy so I just went to the store, got some, and brought it back.
Mom: Did you get the whipped cream?
Me: Yep.
Mom: Oh good! Now I can spray it all over your dad's chest and lick it off!
Me: ...




I was doing homework a room away from where my dad was watching TV. He must have thought I was further away because I could hear he was watching "History of Sex", complete with detailed descriptions of "big, luscious, bouncing breasts".

[YUMMY_YUM]

My parents don't care what I do. They just tell me don't do drugs and hang out with bad people.

[krazipbgal]

Originally Posted by corey9430

Me: Dad there is a hot girl tin the basement adn she isn't mine
Dad: she is your sisters friend
Me: how old is she
Dad: 15, don't have sex with her....
this was yelled between floors

LOL. Omfg that's fantastic.

Originally Posted by corey9430

Wake up
Mom: a litlte drunk last night?
Me: that is a understatement.
mom: get your car out of the neighbor ****ing driveway.

LOL.

Originally Posted by SeanV

good friend of mine decided to drink a little too much too fast, ended up with the toilet at the party for most of the night. being such a good friend i decided to drive him home, and then help him to his room.

halfway up the stairs some lights go on and his mom comes out:

his mom: johnathon (my friend), are you drunk?
my friend: who the **** are you?

i almost dropped him down the stairs laughing

k...that's DAMN funny.

My mom asks me every time I start dating someone new if I'm still a virgin. It's akward. She also desperately wanted to see my forms that I had to fill out for the doctor's asking about my sex life.

[corey9430]

Glad that you found them amusing..

[cerealkiller_]

*Out of nowhere

Dad: You know that Rick's sister got pregnant. Shes only 16.
Me:
Dad: Yep, shes still in highschool. So do you know how dairy queen got pregnant?
Me: Dairy quen wtf?
Dad: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
Me:
Dad: I dont care if you have sex or not, just use a condom
Me: kthnx bye.

[Zues532]

At first I was going to be like "**** you for resurrecting all these threads."

But then I realized this was a great one.

[BombMarley]

"why are your eyes dialated?! are you high?!"

because theres a light right in front of me you *******. and yes I am high thanks for asking.

[-Thanks]

"Don't be an idiot"