How to: Get Your First BJ

Chillkill17 · 04-04-2009, 08:02 PM

Ok, let me tell you how you get your first BJ.

So I was sitting in school one day and my friend comes up to me and tells me all about how this bangin hot girl thinks I'm kind of cute. Apparently she had seen me at a pool party over the summer (This was in september right after school started and I have that effect on girls when I'm in a bathing suit ) and liked what she saw. But I was a ***** and didn't really think much more than "Whatever, my friend is probably being an ******* but if it is true, at least some girl likes me".

Fast forward a month and I was standing at my locker getting ready to go home. Packin up, gettin ready for Friday night. Suddenly this girl (We'll call her Stacy) is standing right next to me. All I could croak out was "Wassup?". The rest of the conversation went something like this...

Stacy: Hey Derrickkkkk (Hello, my name is Derrick and for the record she did extend my name like that).
Me: Hey Stacy, what's goin on?
Stacy: So have you heard the news?
Me: (At this point I had a feeling of what was going on but I played dumb) Umm no what?
Stacy: I think you're cute.
Me: You're not so bad yourself (Slick huh?).
Stacy: Sooo my boyfriend broke up with me recently and I've been pretty lonely but I was wondering if you could help me out...
Me: (Blown away, no pun intended) What did you have in mind?
Stacy: Are you gonna be around tonight?
Me: Umm yea... in fact I have the house to myself tonight (My parents were with my older brother looking at colleges. How lucky was I so far. And no I did not have a house party in mind, I appreciate my belongings).
Stacy: Goooood. Gimme your address and I'll be over at 9.
Me: Aight, cool. (It was so hot, she wrote her info on my hand and I wrote mine on hers)

But now I'm freakin out. I'm so scared that I'm gonna **** something up, or do something retarded. But eventually I collect my self and set up for that night. My friend pulls through and drops some drinks off for me while I try to clean up a little (No homo).

So at 9 she shows up. Even though she only had her junior license, she stole her moms car and drove (So hot). As soon as I close the door we're on top of each other. Some how we get to the kitchen and start doin shots. Then she whispers to me and says "I want to give you a night you'll never forget". She rips off my pants and gets right in there. It was going to amazing but just as I was about to blow, my mom walks in, gets scared, and says you're moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought nah forget it, yo home to bel-air! I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby yo, homes smell you later! looked at my kingdom I was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince of bel-air.

tl;dr- BEST BJ OF MY LIFE

pimp3leet · 04-04-2009, 08:04 PM

First off, I have never kissed a girl until two weeks ago, but apparently this girl REALLY likes me. So when my mom went out for a few hours (11pm-2am) I invited her over. We ended up making out for a good 15 minutes until we stopped and she looked at me and said. "What do you want to do?"

Well, I was like "Do you wanna give me a blowjob?" and she asked me if I was hard and I was like "Hell Yeah!"

Anyways I lasted four minutes, but part way through I asked her if I could play Xbox will she's working hard as a joke. She laughed and I came in her mouth.

She asked for a drink and I got her some Arizona fruit punch, and we made out some more. After I told her I was ready for round two. She blew me again but after 10 minutes I told her she could finish me off with her hand.

Than I walked her home.

Best night of my life.

TL;DR - I got two BJ's and one HJ.

Yea, I didn't read your **** post.

plastic · 04-04-2009, 08:04 PM

Bill The Butcher · 04-04-2009, 08:05 PM

Did you ask if you could play xbox while she was doing it?

FOXPROTO · 04-04-2009, 08:05 PM

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo

Grim~ · 04-04-2009, 08:07 PM

you got me.

Chris631 · 04-04-2009, 08:08 PM

ctrl+f bel-air=ur loss

the batman · 04-04-2009, 08:09 PM

HAHAHAHAHAH
you got me, ****er

Sphere1 · 04-04-2009, 08:12 PM

I crtl-f any long posts, good job.

PaintballerFourLife · 04-04-2009, 08:12 PM

Definately got me

snoller · 04-04-2009, 08:13 PM

Easiest way to get a BJ

Ask her to marry you.

EDIT:

EmpireEmperor · 04-04-2009, 08:14 PM

A couple of n64 games might sweeten the deal.

AintSkurred · 04-04-2009, 08:15 PM

Lawls were had.

broncoandxsvfan V2.0 · 04-04-2009, 08:16 PM

y do i always fall for that?

BoneBreak · 04-04-2009, 08:17 PM

acoolguy77 · 04-04-2009, 08:17 PM

Well played OP. Well played.

Wow, srsly, if you Ctrl+F every long post for bel air, you're a ****ing idiot.

brickcity · 04-04-2009, 08:18 PM

bel air mother****er

brydude92 · 04-04-2009, 08:19 PM

U got me damn, good story though

Spike8890v.2 · 04-04-2009, 08:21 PM

When she's sleeping hold her nose shut then shove it in when she opens her mouth to breathe.

iTz AuStIn · 04-04-2009, 08:22 PM

niiicccceeeeeeeeee... u got me there.

Chillkill17 · 04-04-2009, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FOXPROTO

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grim~

you got me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by the batman

HAHAHAHAHAH
you got me, ****er

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaintballerFourLife

Definately got me

Quote:

Originally Posted by AintSkurred

Lawls were had.

Quote:

Originally Posted by broncoandxsvfan V2.0

y do i always fall for that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoneBreak

Quote:

Originally Posted by acoolguy77

Well played OP. Well played.

Wow, srsly, if you Ctrl+F every long post for bel air, you're a ****ing idiot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by brydude92

U got me damn, good story though

Hahaha, sorry guys. I kind of did it though to make fun of the other BJ thread. Thanks for the props though!