Little Girl:"Wow! It's a schooner!"
Willam:"You dumb bastard! That's not a schooner, it's a sailboat!"
Little Boy:"A schooner is a sailboat, stupidhead!"
Willam:"Well you know what? THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY! OVER THERE, THAT'S JUST A GUY IN A SUIT!!"
Greatest link ever