[cjanderson_90]

Originally Posted by empire112234

Please, go up to 100 women and do that. You will not have 98 numbers by the end of the day.

did this again last night at a party and had 100% success. Granted I only asked 2 girls but I just sat down by them and handed them my phone with the contact app open. They just put their number in it and gave it back. I literally only asked them what their name was and walked away. Easy peasy

[Mr.Familiar]

Let me know how you follow up and your success rate

[drunktiger21]

Originally Posted by WOLFBIKER

Really? What helped for you? I'm 20 and I'll be 21 in July. I think it's mainly genetic for me. My Dad has generalized and social anxiety, obsessive compulsive, and major depressive disorders. I mainly struggle with anxiety related issues. It's recently become extremely debilitating for me. I was always kind of aware of it growing up, but I was able to just white knuckle it back then. I just can't handle it anymore though. I've been trying some different ssri's, but so far no luck. I'm about to try sertraline (zoloft) which supposedly works really well with few or no side effects.

At around 20 is when I started doing looking into this too. I've been on a couple ssri's. Aside from making me last all night, these had no improvement for my mental health. Maybe I didn't want to wait possible 3-6 months to see results. Then I tried getting in beta blockers. This was amazing for a week. I felt an ability to "appreciate" the small stuff. But..once my brain got adjusted to it—three days—nothing. But this was all I needed to know that it is possible to feel genuinely good.

After these experiments, nothing worked. I kind of forgot about it until I reached a life milestone that needed me to become my best self.

Knowing that medication did not work, knowing that I'm just going to have to step out of the comfort zone, I have realized that I haven't gotten to know myself well until I did. I realized that I must first be able to love myself. I train my mind to adapt. Fat? Start going to the gym and eat clean. Address your self-issues one by one.

Appreciate the small accomplishments to build up confidence, too.
The other night, I threw my boxers across the room from my bed into the hamper. Hearing the sound, I knew I made it in. Went to sleep feeling like a champion.

EDIT: Forgot to mention, if you drink caffeine, stop it.

Originally Posted by R2-D2

does social anxiety disorder = SAD?

It's actually Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). It's a corny abbreviation used primarily as a "marketing" tool.

[drunktiger21]

Originally Posted by cjanderson_90

seriously the easiest thing to do is to walk up to a hot girl, and say "put your number in my phone". seriously works like 98% of the time. they are all in shock and confused and impressed with your courage that they are willing to do it no problem. before all you guys start saying its dumb and im a *** or what have you, go try it at least once. saw it on youtube by a guy named lahwf or some ****. blows their mind. no other guy in the bar has the balls to do such a move so it works.

Have you tried this? Is it really 98% successful for you?
I have tried this close to 10 times. Maybe 4 girls went for it. But, this town sucks.

By the way, you do know that the youtube video was shot at BYU? Where Soaking is a thing. Like I mentioned, depends on the demographic.

[casultytosociety]

Originally Posted by Cloud9

No I mean it's going to happen, she's coming to hangout once she gets back from Florida. I mean I don't know if either if us are trying To have a relationship. But I guess we'll figure it out. But we both definitely like each other and were gonna hook up for sure.

where's she at

[Cloud9]

Orlando homie.

[cjanderson_90]

Originally Posted by drunktiger21

Have you tried this? Is it really 98% successful for you?
I have tried this close to 10 times. Maybe 4 girls went for it. But, this town sucks.

By the way, you do know that the youtube video was shot at BYU? Where Soaking is a thing. Like I mentioned, depends on the demographic.

yes i again tried this last night. the one decent girl at the bar i actually went to high school with and she kinda remembered me. being the only one there in a suit i imagine i looked like prime real estate. granted closing the deal isnt certain. i get the numbers and then i have to make it happen. id say MAYBE half would end up actually sleeping with me but thats being optimistic. depends on the girl. sometimes i just make good friends that are girls and those make great wingmen

[R2-D2]

yeah getting numbers is pointless if you don't lay any kind of conversation out for her to remember you. occasionally a creepy girl will dig the mystery but remember that you have their number, so it would show up as a random number on their caller ID. If they're not gonna remember you when you call, what's the point of getting numbers?

[cjanderson_90]

Originally Posted by R2-D2

yeah getting numbers is pointless if you don't lay any kind of conversation out for her to remember you. occasionally a creepy girl will dig the mystery but remember that you have their number, so it would show up as a random number on their caller ID. If they're not gonna remember you when you call, what's the point of getting numbers?

im a pretty unique guy. they remember me

[incobWTF]

lol

[SUR3]

you guys are questioning the bro who gets his game from youtube joke videos. obvi he's a master

[FoidPoosening]

Didn't think I would be in this section like this anytime soon (I'm usually trying to help others if I ever post in here).

On thursday, my girlfriend of 3+ years broke up with me. I could see it coming for the last week or two, but still it was shocking. She said that she thought we had grown apart (we go to different colleges) and said that while I loved the person she changed into, she didn't love the person I changed into. I respect her for telling it to me face to face, we talked for 3 hours, but I left with more questions than answers. When I asked how I had changed, she said she didn't know how to describe it, gave me a bunch of answers (can say them if anyone cares or thinks it helps) but none of them were "game changers" so to speak, none of them were worth throwing away a 3+ year relationship in my opinion. She was right when she said that for a relationship to work--both people have to want it. I understand her reason, but not the reasoning behind it (if that conundrum makes sense). Damn did it hurt.

To add to my confusion, she didn't leave me because she had something too demanding going on in her life, and didn't leave me for someone else. She abandoned me out of respect for how well I treated her from what I understand.

I could see the guilt in her eyes as she said she starting thinking about it over this past summer. Our entire relationship I have stressed communication and honesty and it worked for everything besides this. She said she found it too hard to bring it up, didn't know what to say, and above all didn't want it to be true until it was too late.

I don't hate her (never could); I made her promise to talk to me at least some point later on. The ball is in her court now so to speak, so my decision so far is going to be to let her clear her head, try not to worry about it and see what happens.

I don't think you can love someone until you've seen them at their absolute worst and absolute best and feel the same affection for them afterwards. If i'm honest with myself, I don't know what to think because I have so much running through my head (emotions of all kinds), but I think I still love her.

I keep thinking of the cliche "If you love something let it go, if it comes back it's yours, if not it wasn't meant to be."

Problem is, if she did come back I don't know what I would do. I would need all my questions answered first, but I have no idea what would happen thereafter. I just hand wrote 11 pages of a "mock" letter to her describing almost everything: how I felt, how I feel now, what happened afterwards, who I talked to among my friends and what we talked about, what questions I have and what I miss about her/us, what I'm looking forward to as being single in the meantime, how I'm trying to stay positive, and how I wonder what will happen.

I don't know if I will ever send the letter to her or not (it was my turn to write one, haha) but I guess I'm just at a loss in general. I mean hell, I lost a lover, best friend, and home on thursday all in a few moments.

Now that's a **** ton to read and I commend anyone who does read all of it. Any thoughts on ANY of it? Any/all input is appreciated. I have so much on my mind right now that a little bit more won't hurt

[incobWTF]

she's over you; likely not with a guy but there's probably an intriguing one in the picture which catalyzed this whole thing. burn the letter in some sort of ritual and spend some quality time with the bros & go out and about
nothin else to be done

[FoidPoosening]

Originally Posted by incobWTF

she's over you; likely not with a guy but there's probably an intriguing one in the picture. burn the letter in some sort of ritual and spend some quality time with the bros & go out and about
nothin else to be done

From Canadialand? I don't know if I can trust you . Kidding.

One of my friends said the same thing about burning the letter. To be honest i don't think there's an "intriguing" guy in the picture, but its not like I can ask her or one of her friends to confirm or deny this. She has a lot of guys for friends but she has all her life, and although there is potentially one that could fit that character here, he's friends with all her other guy friends at school so the awkwardness of it should rule it out. Knowing her, I don't think she would have the heart for it anyway.

I do however have an "intriguing" girl in the picture besides her, as well as a semester abroad in Austria coming up at the beginning of 2014. I'm a second semester sophomore in college right now.

[R2-D2]

time to get your dick dirty son,

[aieou]

The only thing you can do is accept it and move on. I have had long term break ups in the past, and the best thing you can do for Yourself is just start to forget about her as fast as you can and shift your focus somewhere else.

Talk to random girls, exercise at your gym, and move on with you life.

[Cloud9]

If she comes back, don't take her back. I made that mistake, nothing was the same everything was worse. Trust issues, paranoia, that they have left you before and it can't be too hard to throw it all away again. That being said, I was in a real ****ty place the first time we split up. There are so many things that I would have done differently.

If you feel the need to sulk ill give you a day or two tops. ****ing cry if you want to, let it all out. After that go surround yourself with friends and activities try to keep your mind off it.

Don't wait for her, I wasted 4 or 5 months just waiting hoping that, that day is the day she'd realize she wants me again. I shouldn't have even wanted her again after what she put me through and everything she had been doing.

Hit on all the girls, flirt. Waste no time, even if you don't have the intention of a relationship or having sex or anything the attention is nice and someone that wants to talk to you is a pick me up in itself.

I told my ex that I would still be there for her and I'd be nice to her. Nope I do not recommend that unless you're a better man than I. ****s too hard, yeah it's the nice thing to do, but you gotta look out for yourself. You're going to double the time it takes to get over her, and you will still hold on to her and in a sense you might become a safety net. I've taken my ex completely out of my life. I got blocked on twitter deleted Facebook I haven't talked to her in 3 months and I do not want to know what she is doing or if she thinks about me. I see being friends with her is self destructive, it can only work if the break up and feelings were mutual...

Ill go ahead and say that the second time we broke up a huge part of it was communication and once I worked on it, it was too little too late. She had developed feelings for some douche, and I "pushed her away" because I was too jealous of her talking to other people, including that douche she got the feels for.. Whatev *****es be crazy. It was also a 4 year relationship. And the first break up was 1 year ago, and the second break up was just 3 months ago, so this advice is pretty fresh in my head. I may be a dickhead, or go about this wrong, but this is what helped me. I can actually say I'm happy. Which I never thought I'd be able to be happy without her

The only downfall is Taylor Swift makes me sad now.

[Mr.JimJims2.0]

I don't post here but I feel as though I have experience to your situation foidpoosening. My girlfriend of 4+ years and I recently broke up over similar circumstances. Your ex seems sincere in her motives and I wish I had the courage to do what she did. I changed quite a bit after a couple years in college (junior now) and I was not able to accept how incompatible I had become with my gf. You are lucky that she brought it up as the downturn from something like that is pretty miserable let me tell you.

Anyways, it is my personal opinion that you should give her the letter(s). I also gave my ex a lengthy letter (only 2 pages though jesus christ dude what are you an english major) and it helped a lot with closure and releasing any guilt or suppressed feelings I had in the relationship.

The others are right in that you need to live life for yourself and enjoy the single life. However it is important that you accept that your guys' relationship is over and learn from the experiences. Do not fall back into the safety zone should she reattempt to connect with you. That is a fatal mistake that a comrade has fallen to.

I am also drunk as **** so take that as you will Go warriors

^^^ there you go brotha classic example of a fallen comrade

[Cloud9]

Also, I so feel you on the closure thing. The first time around I had no explanation, she got depression, she was stressed from school and it "wasnt fair for me to be in a relationship with her"
It drove me crazy. Saying I didn't care and I could help and accommodate all those things. I began to just think it was an excuse an it's not you it me kind of thing.

The second time I got a huge heaping handful and then some of closure it was easy for me to shut her out. So I feel you there and it might be tougher than what I stated above because honestly I forgot about that aspect.

[FoidPoosening]

Originally Posted by Mr.JimJims2.0

I don't post here but I feel as though I have experience to your situation foidpoosening. My girlfriend of 4+ years and I recently broke up over similar circumstances. Your ex seems sincere in her motives and I wish I had the courage to do what she did. I changed quite a bit after a couple years in college (junior now) and I was not able to accept how incompatible I had become with my gf. You are lucky that she brought it up as the downturn from something like that is pretty miserable let me tell you.

Anyways, it is my personal opinion that you should give her the letter(s). I also gave my ex a lengthy letter (only 2 pages though jesus christ dude what are you an english major) and it helped a lot with closure and releasing any guilt or suppressed feelings I had in the relationship.

The others are right in that you need to live life for yourself and enjoy the single life. However it is important that you accept that your guys' relationship is over and learn from the experiences. Do not fall back into the safety zone should she reattempt to connect with you. That is a fatal mistake that a comrade has fallen to.

That helped a lot . And while I could have been an english major for sure, I avoided it for the same reason I didn't major in entrepreneurship: you don't need a degree in it to do something with it in life. So I choose economics finance and sustainability

As for the letter, what was the overall conclusion of yours and what did your ex think about it? How long after the breakup did you send it to her? That's another thing I'm not sure of.

In regards to what I want to happen, I want to enjoy the rest of the semester as being single, and truth be told I want to enjoy my semester abroad in austria single too. However, I do want to talk to her/and or see her again at some point over this summer perhaps. Hopefully she contacts me though.

As for Cloud's answer of not getting back together with her, like I said I don't know where i stand with that. I know for sure that its not happening anytime soon, and I also know for sure that I would need my questions answered... but part of me would be open to it pending what her answers are and how they sit with me once I mull them over for a few months. Now that could turn into a stressed timeframe rapidly though; once I come back from my semester abroad in Austria maybe that's when i'd be interested in it if ever, but all we would have is a summer and senior year before we took jobs/additional school--the logistical nightmare I'm not sure if I want to deal with would be back. Cloud, I also know that I can be nice to her even after all this. That doesn't necessarily make me a better man than you, hell it might mean I'm softer, but she absolutely crushed me face to face and couldn't explain why she felt the way she felt. We both cried and discussed it, but I could not write her off the same way she did to me and I don't remember yelling, a lot of people would've walked before she even tried to explain but that's not me.

I do in fact want to be friends with her regardless though, but it depends on how we interact next time we talk and next time we see each other. I can say whatever I want, but in the end it all comes down to whether or not she tries to come back to me down the road somewhere.


On a different note. My ex and I have a mutual friend that is her roommate. We've both known her about the same time but she is definitely better friends/more loyal to my ex. Part of me wants to text that mutual friend and make sure that my ex is okay and also ask for advice as to what to do in this situation--but even if I told her not to tell my ex I think she would and I'm not sure how that would come off.


Truly...thanks for all the help so far guys.

[R2-D2]

don't put mutual friends in between you especially if your motives are just for your ex to find out you were asking about her.