No more FAIL sites. Alright, I see all of you guys running around with links in your signatures to sites that are gone, showing errors... or just look like crap (you know who you are). I'm a programmer, we both like paintball stuff (otherwise you wouldn't be on here)... let's make a deal.
I'm a programmer, with more then 6 years of professional experience, (I'm not just some kid that lives with his parents that thinks because he read a couple online tutorials he's a "programmer... I have a wife, a kid, a house, 2 cars, a Jeep... I do very well at what I do) I've done programming and sysadmin work for over 800 sites, ~120 of them were eCommerce related. I specialize in back end web apps and database administration. I have experience in everything from HA clusters to regular run of the mill database replication. I am fluent in the LAMP (linux/apache/mysql/php) stack that runs 90% of all websites online... basically, that's a lot of words to say that if you have a problem, I'm probably, the guy that can solve it (if I can't, I know who can).
Anyone that I do business with will be expected to outline the scope of their project in nauseating detail, sign a contract, and put a down payment of 20% down on the work. I can, have and will sign any NDA's, MDA's, TLA's. EPA's, BSA's, BFF's, MMA's that you want me to before we start the project.
I'm an easy guy to get along with as long as you are mature, you communicate well, you have a game plan, and you stick to the terms of our agreement.
Depending on your site's traffic, and how much I like you, I have the capacity to host sites as well.
Just as a warning, my services don't come cheap. If you want a site for your new, unsponsored, rec team or you want a photo album online for your pet guinea pig, for $10, I'm probably not your guy. You don't need a nuclear weapon to kill a fly, and make no mistake, I am a thermonuclear device. Luckily, this also means I know what I'm doing... so while my hourly rate is high, I could have a, simple, blog site up for you in less then an hour.
Shoot me a pm if you are interested, and we'll talk. References are available upon request.
Thanks for looking... as a reward for being here, here is a link to an idiot doing a cannon ball jump into a frozen pool: