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Old 08-27-2010, 10:07 AM #1933
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At the rate this thread has been going I think it's safe to say we've got a while to think about.
My contribution: V.43 yep... still Jesus freaks.

Leann - Very cool. I know for a fact we didn't read anything like that in my HS. The only author I can remember reading from then is Dickens. Good author and I still love reading his work, but I wouldn't call it Christian reading material.

But in all honesty I guess that it was so long ago I read Dickens work in the newspaper.
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Old 08-27-2010, 10:12 AM #1934
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haha. Well since its a private christian school, our teachers can choose what we watch/read/ect. Lewis is a good british writer, I think its cool we can study him, unlike other schools since his writing is christian
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Old 08-27-2010, 10:26 AM #1935
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How about... v.43 - A lot of God and a lil paintball....

Dang I'm getting hungry waiting for the laundry to finish up.
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Old 08-27-2010, 10:40 AM #1936
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... "lil paintball"

Quote:
10bps League tonight at 6:30, TCP Gr.

$20 includes 500 balls for either league
Sometimes, and only sometimes, I wish I lived closer to Grand Rapids.

But then I walk outside, and don't.
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Old 08-27-2010, 10:57 AM #1937
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I wouldn't mind so much....But I would have to live in the country somewhere. I hated living in apartments for 5 years. And I don't think I could become a "city" person. I like being able to go outside and not hear cars or people. I only hear maybe 5 -10 cars on a busy day going down my road...and they are all neighbors basically.
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Old 08-27-2010, 05:13 PM #1938
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Originally Posted by ἔρως-φιλία-ἀγάπη View Post
"You will die when God wills it." How does this tie into free will? You die because of personal choices, failing body parts/organs, and fatal accidents, not because God "wills you to."
I like the way you think
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Old 08-28-2010, 11:14 AM #1939
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Old 08-28-2010, 11:24 AM #1940
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I like the way you think
I was playing devil's advocate there.
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Old 08-28-2010, 01:01 PM #1941
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I am by now fulling accepting of the fact that I am an existentialist, nihilist, absurdist, and whatever else you might want to construe from that.

Why? What is the point of living? Nothing I ever say or do will ever change anything. The people around me and in society make sure of it. I allowed my soul to uninhibitedly seek whatever it is it desired, and I made no attempt to keep it from doing so when my mind perceived that it would not find what it was searching for. Everything I have done in life has increased my depression and agonies. Life is meaningless, but the self searches for meaning... it destroys a man. When I die, I will die no better than when I was born, ignorant of everything and without purpose. I sometimes have contempt for my mother because, in her own selfish desires to have a child, she birthed me into a world that she knew would give man nothing except hatred and torment...

Don't tell me to get help either. I'm not suicidal. Depression is not something that can be medicated away. It is a deep part of the human psyche. There is no lasting joy or meaning to be derived from anything in life.

You may think of me as one whose unrelenting fascination with logic and rationality lends me impervious to the sway or even to the acquaintance of any type of emotions. But that is dead wrong. When it comes to people, I don't have many emotions, but what I do have is deeply contradicting. Hate society, hate people, but I find it impossible to hate individuals. I don't trust anyone. Those are my views on people. On life, on ideas, on thoughts which pure logic could have no leeway, I feel strongly, and they almost all attest to my depression and deep pain. The only thing keeping me from becoming fully engrossed by it is the thought that life itself is beautiful, even though everything in life is dreadfully ugly. I am dissatisfied with life. This world has nothing to offer me. I have deep-rooted depression, anxiety, and self-doubt, for all that I might appear to be so arrogant. I gather knowledge solely to counteract my anxiety and self-doubt, that I might at least be certain in a few things.
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Old 08-28-2010, 01:47 PM #1942
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Meh movies don't allow time to think. Read a good book, can't beat the classics.

** This post was in response to spracks post that was deleted. No harm intended.
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Old 08-28-2010, 02:06 PM #1943
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ill assume that was directed at me, but i deleted my post since i thought it may not be suitable in this particular thread. And i agree with your comment about movies, but i would first view this particular film before passing that generalized opinion on it.

And i do agree that books are a far more insightful medium to learn from. And I would personally recommend anything from kurt vonnegut. This man changed my life

edit: the movie i was refering to was "I Heart Huckabees"
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Old 08-28-2010, 04:10 PM #1944
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Thanks for respecting the purpose of this thread.
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Old 08-28-2010, 08:02 PM #1945
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I just finished reading "Frankenstein" as part of my required school reading. Were every book so profound or introspective, as to relate so perfectly the exact depravity of both human and monster (which we both are, I am sure), you would never find me in a spare moment reading not. Such incredible truths were uttered to me in this... and they only serve to increase my despair. But alas, I do not think that I am to be pitied for the despairs which I have, for in them the fullness of myself is actualized. I feel almost certain that life will never again hold a gleam of hope or amazement, but only in death shall life ever be made complete. It is my fate to be in eternal torment and despair, brought about by my own design, until that moment. I have not any regrets for anything I have done. I would never return to my blissful ignorance even if I could. But of the world, horrors have multiplied unto me, and left nothing in my shell. For the remainder of whatever existence I shall have (which I perceive should be quite long), it will be spent in careful, tedious thought of all things rational and irrational. My countenance will express one of a scientist, interested fully in the logical contemplations of the world and mind, but my inner world shall be concerned with the emotions of despair and torment, and of all things which are quite dear to the world, and hateful to me, and the inverse. There is no conceivable way that I could leave life more satisfied in what I have done for the world and myself and what the world and myself have done for me.
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Old 08-28-2010, 08:17 PM #1946
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In order to make life more enjoyable you probably have to do what I should be doing too - getting off the computer and getting a social life
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Old 08-28-2010, 08:34 PM #1947
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Nope. That will avail me none. I detest even social interaction with my close family. I prefer to an outstanding degree to brood within my own mind. When I reach college, all senses of social obligation will wiped away from existence, and I may not find the need to speak to anybody for weeks at a time.
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Old 08-28-2010, 08:44 PM #1948
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If I didnt talk to people...I would die. I know thats just you KC...but still..WEEKS?
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Old 08-28-2010, 08:50 PM #1949
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Very likely. I feel as though I will be too engrossed in my studies to do much of anything; converse, sleep, eat. It will be the full unhindered pursuing of the passion of my mind, and may, for a time, relinquish what my soul feels. I will devote myself entirely to my studies in university. In my free time, I will employ myself with virtually nothing but reading. Weeks seems about right.
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Old 08-28-2010, 09:04 PM #1950
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just make sure you get some air...ok? read outside maybe?
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Old 08-28-2010, 09:17 PM #1951
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I intend to take nature walks oftentimes, to revitalize my soul, which I assume will still be in fatigue from these moments which are occurring now. But I must retreat; this society has nothing to offer me, yet it takes so much. I don't want to identify myself with this hateful institution, this monster which seeks to fulfill its own end at the expense of all who walk in it. There were a few brave souls, who, looking into the darkness and despair, and, through tears and sadness, destined and took it upon themselves to make the world a better place. They failed, as I'm sure they now see. But their hearts were destroyed by agony, their souls by depression. This is something which only the full depravity of humanity and the world and society, careless to my depression, and reveling in my lost innocence, so great an object which it robbed me of, could do. I feel no reason to do anything. I hate this world, and it hates me. Nothing could ever be more complete.
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Old 08-28-2010, 09:19 PM #1952
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This world has taken it all away, all my love, all my thirst, all my wonder... all my soul. It has been replaced with hatred, malice, and depression. I am hollow and empty. If I seek anything, it is only one who understands and accepts me for who I am. But I would not anyone to know this that I feel, the horrors my eyes have beheld...
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Old 08-28-2010, 09:24 PM #1953
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Can I ask you one question? You can answer it or not, idc.

I know this world isnt the best place. I know that it takes away innocence and its not the great ride everyone expects it to be. But why let that affect you? How come you dont live life to the fullest and try (even though it may seem irrational) to make the world a better place. Changing or helping one person in their lifetime, is even better than changing the world..it makes life worth living.

Maybe I'm just an optimist, maybe I try my best to make the crap world a little brighter for someone else, or maybe Im just ignorant and blissful about it. But i was just wondering why do you let it affect you so?
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