00:02:09:__ that shot was nice.
SETTLE ON A FEELING. If there's anything I hate more than short films it's the fact that they never stick to any feeling. SOUND : the music... you have rap music, then guitar, and then heavy dramatic music. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL!! Should I be excited? Should I be sad? Or should I not care?
Sound levels - balance out your sound. A gunshot should be much louder than a shell dropping (example).
here's an example of a fair gunshot - import and look at the levels. -0.0. It startles the viewer, but doesn't blow out.
Crossing the axis: 00:02:52 - make sure you make at least a 180* spin on a shot, otherwise it can be jarring. For more information look it up on wiki. A good thing to keep in mind.
Stop getting in so tight. Sure, detail is great, but I couldn't tell what was going on half the time because you were so close to the subject. Make sure to use an establishing shot at least ONCE if we haven't see where the character is. Example : falling off the roof or whatever - all I saw was black, heard a drop, and then saw him walking again. Very confused. Additionally, I found myself skipping to see when this "towel-mp5-toting" character was going... instead of just watching. That means I'm not interested. Shorten the scene, or give us an idea of where he's going, and what he's doing, so we can hypothesize what's going to happen during the walk.
Light: 85% of the time you can PP your image to look dark... and the same goes for brightness. 85% of the time you can't
successfully brighten a scene. So, I'd suggest finding a way to cheaply light some of those insanely dark shots, and then darken it later... that way we have detail an 0db gain =P
Explanation : Who is this guy. Why is he so young and yet has the $$$ to buy an MP5. Better yet, why in the hell does he have to crawl out his window to leave his house? Who is the guy he's shooting... why is his wallet there... why why why why why? If you want to make a shoot-em-up movie, make sure you know that THAT is what you want to do. Just look at... Shoot 'Em Up. It was nothing more than an action movie, and didn't take itself seriously in any other respect. Great movie (for what it was). Like I said before, I couldn't figure out what type of feeling you were going for...