Originally Posted by MVPaintballer
I used to love humanity. I would smile just looking at people. I loved doing volunteer work to help people (rather than now, I love volunteer work because it makes me feel constructive). But love for humanity comes with severe implications, that only now I can see have damaged my personality. When you act on love, and help someone, and I don't mean telling them they dropped a dollar, I mean tracking them down for a mile and giving them their dollar back. When you show this sort of love, the hate of the world demonizes you as a manipulator. There is an instant "Why did you go out of your way to do that?" or "What do you want from me?". Loving humanity only makes your innocent actions seem manipulative. Soon people cast you out for being materialistic, trying to be accepted, or being insecure. Labeled as weird for using your hands to show your heart.
After being accused, even to my face, of trying to get "something" out of people for years of my life, I have no reason left to love humanity; I've lost all faith in a world filled with hate. I've lost good friends because they thought I was manipulative.
Think about this for a minute, did you really "love" a bunch of strangers who you had never met? I can understand helping someone you don't know for various reasons, but I doubt you actually loved the unknown fellow you tracked down for a mile to give back his dollar. I think what you're suffering from is a fear of being called "selfish". In our current culture of altruism, being called selfish is akin to being called evil. It is supposed to be virtuous for an individual to be completely selfless. If you help someone, that's good. If you help someone you don't know, that's better. If you help someone who hates you and wants to kill you, then you're a saint. That is the morality of altruism and it's not something to which I subscribe.