[Mad.HaXXor]

Originally Posted by Bleachednblonde

You are still the unknown. You are the exciting, dangerous, mischevious side to her. He is the secure, well known, predictable side to her. She knows she can play him and she knows he's a sucker. Just because she'll hook up with you doesn't mean she'll leave him. I'd withdraw a little. It's possible if she's faced with the threat of losing you she'll dump him. This should probably be a slow transition because up and leaving just pisses a woman off. Phase yourself out and make it known that you aren't going to share her with another guy for long. But don't force her hand. Don't make it seem like you are jealous or upset. I'd simply start throwing hints that i was ready for a serious relationship and if she wasn't interested that i was moving on to find someone else. (but don't come out and say that obviously!)

Seconded.

I'd 'vanish' for a bit then come back after a while and play it slow and hook up with her. I've found with proper kino escalation and the two steps backwards method you can get your hands on girls even in secure relationships without them feeling guilty. It's just how far you're willing to push the escalation...

[Mobster_boy (Banned)]

bleached, good to hear from you. I dont think i ever actually asked, but I'd love to see pics of your latest fiasco, aka girlfriend. Great advice, if you're not looking for anything long term, which the average hormone driven 14 year old pbn'er isn't. I used to analyze the facts, see what she was sending, and figure out my move from there, but my ex is all over the map with feelings and emotions, so I just started ignoring her, and eventually she got the message and wanted to ''talk'' so we talked and some stuff got settled out. Its not that she wants to come and go, its just that she's so unsure of herself, and she is constantly reminded of how nice, charming, witty, funny, amazing, etc, i am with everyday that passes. I however, have given up on trying to figure her out, so Ive got a sideproject going, and she's just as hot, i just don't know that i want to sacrifice all teh memories I had with my ex.

I've kinda given up caring too, i just let what happens happen, and be done with it as that

[Pretendeavor (Banned)]

Originally Posted by Mad.HaXXor

The whole 'fighting' bit could have been flirting on her behalf?? Don't play into her, it sounds like you already might be a bit late. But no harm in trying, just remember not to get caught up over her.

oh lol, there was no flirting in this fighting, that was a ****ing brawl of words lol. but yea im tryin to turn this around.

[Mad.HaXXor]

Originally Posted by Pretendeavor

oh lol, there was no flirting in this fighting, that was a ****ing brawl of words lol. but yea im tryin to turn this around.

Just have fun with and be the one in charge, make her play your game. And don't get wrapped up in whole situation take it lightly and easy come easy go. I wasted for to much time wrapped up over a girl. Life's to short to spend in misery over women. If only Paris knew that.

[blaker615]

Originally Posted by Mad.HaXXor

Big smile, lots of touching, confidence, show signs of disinterest, don't wait forever, don't pay for anything of hers, don't treat her like she's special etc etc.

well i'll probably just pay for her coffee but I wont suck up to her, since ill be using the gift card she gave me to buy it.

[felicityrose]

Originally Posted by blaker615

well i'll probably just pay for her coffee but I wont suck up to her, since ill be using the gift card she gave me to buy it.

If she asks for advice, be very hesitant to give it. That's the express lane to the friend zone. Paying for coffee (especially with one she gave you) is good. Paying for anything else before dating has been established is no bueno.

[12345421]

Originally Posted by Mad.HaXXor

Simply stop being a fulltime niceguy. It's one of the worst things you can do to yourself. I watch niceguys take care of drunk girls in hopes of gaining their affection and then the girl goes off making out with some random guy.

That just shows how much a niceguy I was last year. One of my good friends (who is a girl) got me to take her friend from another school to our Christmas formal. I meet her and she's pretty hot, the formal goes well and we all go to a party afterwards. Now keep in mind that she is about 5'2'' and not very big. So at the party she downs 4 samplers and has maybe two cupfulls of vodka in about 30 seconds. Well with her size it really hit her and she could barely walk and was throwing up everywheres. She kept trying to get up and with fall to the floor so I stayed with her the whole night and about 1 in the morning I carried her a kilometer up the road to her friends house so she could sleep. After that she didn't even aknowledge that I taken care of her the whole night. That just shows that being a niceguy doesn't work at all.

[Bobeo]

Doesn't help you get laid but it is the decent thing to do.

[bacon03]

Originally Posted by felicityrose

Paying for anything else before dating has been established is no bueno.

Really?

Why would a girl not like it if you bought her something? That's weird. So if I take a girl to the movies or something, I should just buy one ticket and then make her pay for her own?

[Bobeo]

Yes and no. One part of me syas that it is simply the thing that a nice guy/gentleman does. It is the polite thing to do. But then we remember that we don't want to be the nice guy...so it is a tough thing to decide.

I say pay for one ticket. I guess you can say that if she expects you to pay for her on the first date she isn't worth dating anyways.

[Wis_Baller]

Originally Posted by bacon03

Really?

Why would a girl not like it if you bought her something? That's weird. So if I take a girl to the movies or something, I should just buy one ticket and then make her pay for her own?

They do like it - I don't know where you guys get this idea that you don't pay for the lady you asked out.

Common rule of thumb - guy pays for first 3 dates - after that cost is split. Most girls after that point will offer to pay depending on where you go. ex - I pay for dinner - she'll pay for tip/drinks at bar before being seated. Varies from date to date - but you get the idea. Unless I was completely broke - I payed.

Girls like to be catered to and taken care of. You flatter and treat a girl really well - other girls will notice. This helps you in alot of ways. Say your girl isn't sure about your relationship - she'll ask here girlfriends what to do. If they've seen the way you treat her they'll be more inclined to say "he's a good guy - stick it out and see where it goes." rather then "guys a stingy SOB - you can do better then him!" Also - if/when things go downhill - other girls saw how you treat girls and will try to get in line for that treatment.

This worked for me all through high school and college - I was just married acouple weeks ago. Be a gentlemen and you'll go places, be a hard *** thug wanna-be and you'll still go places - just without a pretty women on your arm.

[Bobeo]

See, I agree with this. Maybe it is just that I am a nice guy at heart

[t_mo (Banned)]

I'll offer my two cents here.

The problem that you guys are having trouble distuingishing is that the first few times i got out with a girl it isnt a "date". When you are first hitting on a girl and you say "well i gotta go, but give me your number, maybe ill give you a call sometime (said playfully with a smile). She says ok.
I wait three days, call her back and invite her to meet me for a cup of coffee, or a drink. No where did i say that this meeting was a date, it is casual. Therefore any girl that demand i pay for her coffee or drink i would not date anywy.
So after meeting out for drinks a few times casually. I invite her to dinner, now this is where it takes some balls to get her to pony up some money for food. I dont see this as not being "gentlemenly" or not being "nice" it is simply to see if she is using me to get free food drinks etc.

Sidebar: When i first started dating my girlfriend i woudnt pay for anyhting. we went on spring break with mutual friends and stayed in the same hotel room with 2 others, we split it in thirds. When we would go to the bar i might buy a round, but i never bought her a drink specifically unless she was the only one around. Now she got used to the fact i was not going to wait on her hand and foot.
Fast forward to current day, i have been going out with her for awhile now, and still when i pay for dinner/hotel room etc. she is very grateful, because she knows that I want to pay for it. Not that i feel inclined to pay for it because she is a girl. She always say thank you and is geniunely appreciative and that adds to my gratification, rather than me paying for everything and never recieving deserved thanks.
So if a girl really actually likes you then the fact that you dont buy her everything under the sun should not determine if she continues to go out with you.

I am too a "nice guy" ask any girl that knows me, but every girl that knows me as well knows that I am never taken advantage of. So if I buy her a drink at a bar, I am doing it because she is my friend and I am treating her as so, not trying to get in her pants.

[blaker615]

you cant be a cocky all the time. if thats your personality you're not cocky-funny. you're an ***.

[t_mo (Banned)]

You can.
I think you are confusing Cocky with arrogant. Whereas my idea of cocky is confident. Arrogant people are loud and obnoxious where cocky people are cool and confident. Watch a James Bond movie, is he an ***?

[felicityrose]

Originally Posted by bacon03

Really?

Why would a girl not like it if you bought her something? That's weird. So if I take a girl to the movies or something, I should just buy one ticket and then make her pay for her own?

My apologies; I should have been more clear. There are two situations where you can pay for the girl: if you've been good friends for ages and you two take turns paying for each other, or on the first couple of "dates" (that are recognized as dates by both parties). If you don't know the girl that well and are still trying to determine if you are under "dating status", be wary of paying. Of course, you should be a gentleman and offer to pay, but a proper girl would politely decline. If she sits back and lets you pay, then she might try to take advantage of you later. My man and I take turns paying now (or we go dutch), but there was never a lengthy period of time where he paid for everything - we took turns.

[felicityrose]

Originally Posted by t_mo

When i first started dating my girlfriend i woudnt pay for anyhting. we went on spring break with mutual friends and stayed in the same hotel room with 2 others, we split it in thirds. When we would go to the bar i might buy a round, but i never bought her a drink specifically unless she was the only one around. Now she got used to the fact i was not going to wait on her hand and foot.
Fast forward to current day, i have been going out with her for awhile now, and still when i pay for dinner/hotel room etc. she is very grateful, because she knows that I want to pay for it. Not that i feel inclined to pay for it because she is a girl. She always say thank you and is geniunely appreciative and that adds to my gratification, rather than me paying for everything and never recieving deserved thanks.

Amen, bro. Being surrounded by girls who expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter, it's nice to see other girls who understand the value of a dollar and a healthy relationship.

There is only one time a year where I don't ever plan to pay: my birthday, and even then I might start to bend. Every other time, we usually fight over the check (him for being a gentleman, me for having a job [he's a student]) and end up going dutch. I was brought up to be independent, so the idea of someone paying for me was hard to swallow at first... but I've learned.

[Wis_Baller]

Originally Posted by t_mo

You can.
I think you are confusing Cocky with arrogant. Whereas my idea of cocky is confident. Arrogant people are loud and obnoxious where cocky people are cool and confident. Watch a James Bond movie, is he an ***?

Confident is definately the word - cocky in just about any sence is incorrect.

Very few times have I ever paid and had an ungrateful recepitent. If they are - they simply aren't asked out again. Too often have I run into girls who are turned off by a guy who wasn't careful in his choice of words when asking her to pay. By simply paying the first couple times - your avoiding a sticky situation. Once you've gone out acouple times and they know you alittle better - they are less likely to take offense to you asking to help split up the bill.

Different types of girls expect different types of treatment - but I've never met one who didn't like be treated like a queen.

felicityrose - your approach to paying is seen far and few between. Your man can consider himself lucky.

[Crazdelight]

Ive realized that i have been coming on prolly to strong for this girl and i dont want to give off that im desperate, ive liked her for a good 2 months now and we have kissed and such but i feel she is loosing her liking for me. So how do i pull off, but yet not compleatly? The big question is im gonna try and give her space and maybe see her again with better game like in the beginning but HOW THE HELL do i get her out of my mind?

[t_mo (Banned)]

Well when I am really bent out of shape about a girl that I like and Im trying to use self control not to call her I will make it into a game with myself. The game will be how long can I hold out and not call her talk to her, I oddly do this with many things I do. I like to test myself, especially my mind.

[Crazdelight]

but if i play it like a game, im gonna be thinking about the game all the time. Which leads to just tourtering myself over her. Dosent it?