[paintball_shaman]

Question for bleached: Should you continue to play games while you're in a fairly solid relationship?

[PBUBAR77]

Originally Posted by Bleachednblonde

I'd like to say a few quick general guidlines! I've seen these questions asked time and time again:
-You don't have to find out for sure if a girl likes you. Believe it or not women are not like us in the same respect, you can persuade a girl to like you. So whether or not she likes you doesn't really matter. Perfect example: I met a girl at a bar who told me "to go **** myself" within the first 30 seconds of meeting her. I took her home the next night and ****ed her two ways til tuesday.

-Asking a girl out does not need to be this big planned out production. Infact by doing that you put her under alot of pressure and in general it can kind of stress her out. Keep the "romantic sweep her off her feet ideas" for your 1 year or when you propose to her. The proper way to ask a girl out..."God it's so refreshing to meet someone different than all these other girls. Let's get lunch sometime."

-It doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend. You ask her out (like said above) anyway. If she says, "oh i have a boyfriend." Your response will be, "woah woah honey! I'm asking you if you'd like to get lunch and talk sometime... as friends. Are you always this presumptious or is your boyfriend that insecure?"

Very well said.

[psychobo1]

Originally Posted by JRX dm4 05

hmm, I'm taking a risk by posting this in here, because I know none of you probably will be able to give me any advice worth taking, but oh well. Here's my girl problem.

I'd just like some people to read this and tell me their opinion on the relationship and if we should stay together or end it.

So I met this girl a little over a year ago. We hit it off big time. We dated for about 3 months, then I dumped her. She was getting extremely emotional on me. So about 2 months later we still had a thing for each other. We had our time apart, and started talking again. She was still very emotional and when I found out why (bad childhood, not getting along with mom, has no dad, no one really there for her) I figured as a good friend I would be there for her and try to help her out. Hoping that if I could just get her happy then we could get back together and be a happy couple.

So she finally cheered up, and we got back together and started dating again. We quickly grew extremely close to one another, able to tell each other anything, and formed very strong love for each other. School got out and we had some amazing times this summer. We started fooling around and getting sexual, which complicated things very badly. Well to make a long story short, we started fighting about really stupid stuff every day, the fights were mainly my fault. And three days ago, we got into a bad fight and she had finally had it. We were up till 5am with the break up conversation. She just kept saying that we couldn't get along and that we just weren't right for each other (she was crying her eyes out the whole time) and kept telling me that she still loves me a lot.

I started freaking out really bad (I'm really strong emotionally, but this was just killing me) and started sweet talking her. by the end of the night I had talked her into a "break" instead of a break up. The next day was one of the worst days of my life. I was freaking out the whole day and feeling like complete ****, and pretty much had a panic attack. I'm not like this, ever. And I really thought I would be able to take the break up better. Well I went out and got her some really meaningful "I'm sorry" gifts. I was up all night writing her a huge apology letter asking her to take me back. Today I finally talked her into taking me back. But she wants things to change in our relationship. Everything she said, I agreed on, saying she wanted to get closer to God, and becoming a better person. The only thing I didn't agree on was no more sexual things in our relationship. I'd still like to keep this part of our relationship, but I can live without it.

We went on a good date tonight, and I gave her the gifts and she absolutely loved them. School starts back soon and thats either going to make things better or worse for us. Well I'm sorry this is long and there is a lot of stuff I left out, some good, some bad.

We still love each other so much and have been through a lot together. Just the thought of us not being together makes me sick, but I realize not all relationships last forever. so, if anybody did take the time to read all this, should we stay together, or end it?

for the yellow part, maybe u shud try connecting with god. makes a whoel lot different, ull feel different and se thigns different. i know cuz i was in a similar relationship but not as emotional and stuff, and after i got more closer with god, i finally realized that the girl and i wudnt go together lol. and just ended the relationship. so yeah i duno if that even helps but just telling u wat hapened to me and wat cud hapen with u

[Bleachednblonde (Banned)]

Originally Posted by 12345421

Pretty much. I'm not sure on what you mean by an upperclassman, but I'm just an average guy who works for minimum wage and that's how it is here. They arn't necessarily looking for an older to guy just have sex with... that usually comes after you've at least fingered her.




What if you're in highschool and asking a girl out to lunch is like a "wtf are you talking about" kind of question.

Lunch, Ice cream, coffee. There's a million possibilities. The point is it should be something that isn't "date like" and that is a very low stress situation. This allows you to be yourself and allows her to be herself.

If you're having trouble with ideas here's what I base it off of. All the places i take a girl on a first date, are places i will meet a family member. I commonly meet my mom for lunch, or my little cousin for coffee to help him with his girl problems.

Originally Posted by paintball_shaman

Question for bleached: Should you continue to play games while you're in a fairly solid relationship?

Ideally... No. I mean yes there's going to be a little game playing, but playing these kind of mind games is something that stems throughout my life. I play certian games with co-workers, friends, and women to manipulate situations. The games we've talked about throughout this thread should be long gone by the time you're in a serious relationship. There might be a lingering one here or there. But hell, some people's relationships are based off of these games, but i'm guess that's not you. I'm curious why do you ask?

[Bleachednblonde (Banned)]

More Bits of General Advice
I'm going to post these periodically as i think of them.
-**** OR GET OFF THE POT: The most common way i've seen people fall into the friend trap is by not taking action soon enough. The mindset works like this... I like her, so i'll befriend her and get close to her and try to find out if she likes me. WRONG APPROACH. This will suck you deep into the friend trap. I know VERY FEW women who have ever out of the blue started dating a long time friend. It happens a little in high school so people can screw up and learn from that mistake. It almost never happens in college or the real world.
-Sometimes venturing over to another pond is a good idea. And the old phrase, don't cumm where you eat is still true! Dating girls from outside your highschool is a great idea. Low stress, low maintanance, easy break up.
-We covet with our eyes first. Our eyes seek out our desires. That's why men stare at breasts! Now women are a little better at self control. They will stare once or twice, but catch themselves after that. If a girl is staring at me, I consider it money in the bank! The hard part is done. She most likely already has interest in me. All I have to do is reel it in.

THIS ONE IS IMPORTANT:
-You can break the ice with a girl on almost anything. It's how you say things not what you say. There's no magic line that's going to allow you to spread a girls legs like Moses parting the red sea. If you can tell you have something in common before you even talk to her break the ice with that. Here's my example:
Last night i walk into the local campus bar. Typical wednesday night, i'm there to drink and shoot pool with all my friends, not meet women. When i walk in the bartender gives me a good once over (looking me in the eyes much longer than is necessary.) I then notice that she is like my 9 (half very classy, half rockstar girl) She has her lip pierced. Now i have quite a few hidden things on my body pierced and tattooed, hence we have common ground to talk about! So this is how i broke the ice with her...I went to get a drink at the bar and said to her, "stick your tongue out." She kind of half *** stuck her tongue out, a little confused about why i asked her. When she did i said, "Oh thank god, your tongue isn't pierced... that's so trashy." She instantly agreed and we proceeded to have a 5 minute conversation about piercings and tattooes. So gentlemen, it's as easy as that. Oh, and i got her number and we're having lunch today.

[Mischa Barton]

Damn - Bleached is a killer. You got some good info bro! Keep it up, and help the lowlifes out bro!

[CapitanMDD]

Originally Posted by Bleachednblonde

There's no magic line that's going to allow you to spread a girls legs like Moses parting the red sea.

LOL, Kind of a bad analogy... but the advice is still good.

[Simplicity. (Banned)]

Iight bleached, do you think ill be on hot water if i told a girl that i was gonna try to make it to her game, but i probably wont? I told her theres a small chance i might make it. and shes a drama queen type, its the older girl i posted about a page back, i got her number and all that and she wants to see me thats obvious, but i had a game 2 hours before hers and it ran over the time.
So what should i do now?

[paintball_shaman]

Originally Posted by Bleachednblonde

I'm curious why do you ask?

Because I was trying to figure out if she was testing me or if there was something the matter, we talked last night.

[Bobeo]

Originally Posted by Simplicity.

Iight bleached, do you think ill be on hot water if i told a girl that i was gonna try to make it to her game, but i probably wont? I told her theres a small chance i might make it. and shes a drama queen type, its the older girl i posted about a page back, i got her number and all that and she wants to see me thats obvious, but i had a game 2 hours before hers and it ran over the time.
So what should i do now?

No push-pull. You had other things to do and couldn't make it.

[SharkMachine]

alright I have a dance tommorw night (non formal, and you dont go with a date) and I want to make something happen with one of 2 girls I have my eye on. One is kinda ****ty but very hot, I dont want to go out with her but I would do stuff with her. I think she might like me Because she always looks over and smiles at me and class, and she strikes up conversations with me without me even trying. The other one I like more, because she is cooler and not ****ty at all. We talk ocasionally, but she told one of my friends she thinks im cute. Its going to be dark and outdoors. I will definetly dance with both of them, but is there anyway I can take it farther than that at a school dance? Like mabey during a slow song or something?

[p8ntballr1125]

Originally Posted by SharkMachine

alright I have a dance tommorw night (non formal, and you dont go with a date) and I want to make something happen with one of 2 girls I have my eye on. One is kinda ****ty but very hot, I dont want to go out with her but I would do stuff with her. I think she might like me Because she always looks over and smiles at me and class, and she strikes up conversations with me without me even trying. The other one I like more, because she is cooler and not ****ty at all. We talk ocasionally, but she told one of my friends she thinks im cute. Its going to be dark and outdoors. I will definetly dance with both of them, but is there anyway I can take it farther than that at a school dance? Like mabey during a slow song or something?

Start dry humping one of them in the middle of a slow dance . Works like a charm

[Pr3claTol2]

K, so I got another problem. I kinda have a GF/ Friend with benefits but I am starting to like this other girl that goes to my school. I've liked this new girl for a long time. I hate to say it, but I am kinda losing interest in my other girl. She said she doesn't care if I see other girls and would still like to have me to make out with and do fun things with, but I'm not really into having a dual relationship and that I could not have a fun time with either girl because I would feel guilty. Any ideas on what to do? I don't want to end either relationship, but I feel like I should. I just don't want to break my existing gf's heart---She still likes me, but I'm not so sure about her anymore.

[12345421]

Originally Posted by Bleachednblonde

THIS ONE IS IMPORTANT:
-You can break the ice with a girl on almost anything. It's how you say things not what you say. There's no magic line that's going to allow you to spread a girls legs like Moses parting the red sea. If you can tell you have something in common before you even talk to her break the ice with that. Here's my example:
Last night i walk into the local campus bar. Typical wednesday night, i'm there to drink and shoot pool with all my friends, not meet women. When i walk in the bartender gives me a good once over (looking me in the eyes much longer than is necessary.) I then notice that she is like my 9 (half very classy, half rockstar girl) She has her lip pierced. Now i have quite a few hidden things on my body pierced and tattooed, hence we have common ground to talk about! So this is how i broke the ice with her...I went to get a drink at the bar and said to her, "stick your tongue out." She kind of half *** stuck her tongue out, a little confused about why i asked her. When she did i said, "Oh thank god, your tongue isn't pierced... that's so trashy." She instantly agreed and we proceeded to have a 5 minute conversation about piercings and tattooes. So gentlemen, it's as easy as that. Oh, and i got her number and we're having lunch today.

And what if she is intelligent (not saying the one you met isn't) and opinionated and totally disagrees with you? It would make it tough to fix since you called tounge rings trashy. Do you just walk away? It would be tough going in campas bar again with her working without her probably glaring at you. (Assuming worst case senario and she took offense to it)

Originally Posted by SharkMachine

alright I have a dance tommorw night (non formal, and you dont go with a date) and I want to make something happen with one of 2 girls I have my eye on. One is kinda ****ty but very hot, I dont want to go out with her but I would do stuff with her. I think she might like me Because she always looks over and smiles at me and class, and she strikes up conversations with me without me even trying. The other one I like more, because she is cooler and not ****ty at all. We talk ocasionally, but she told one of my friends she thinks im cute. Its going to be dark and outdoors. I will definetly dance with both of them, but is there anyway I can take it farther than that at a school dance? Like mabey during a slow song or something?

Lucky. Go with the ****ty one. If she is smiling at you in class and striking up random conversations then everything will come easier since (IMO). Everything will be more casual and you'll probably be more relaxed. Unless... she's smiling at you and talking with you because you guys are just friends? I have a few hot friends that are like that. I can grad their *** and what not and we joke around, but nothing more than that. I wouldn't want it to go any farther than that anyways, friends that are hot girls are great, it's how I met that blonde that I posted about a few pages back.

[Bleachednblonde (Banned)]

Originally Posted by 12345421

And what if she is intelligent (not saying the one you met isn't) and opinionated and totally disagrees with you? It would make it tough to fix since you called tounge rings trashy. Do you just walk away? It would be tough going in campas bar again with her working without her probably glaring at you. (Assuming worst case senario and she took offense to it)

I said it after i saw her tongue. If she stuck her tongue out and there was a ring i would have been less abrasive about it. Said something like, "oh come on! that's so unoriginal."

[12345421]

Originally Posted by Pr3claTol2

K, so I got another problem. I kinda have a GF/ Friend with benefits but I am starting to like this other girl that goes to my school. I've liked this new girl for a long time. I hate to say it, but I am kinda losing interest in my other girl. She said she doesn't care if I see other girls and would still like to have me to make out with and do fun things with, but I'm not really into having a dual relationship and that I could not have a fun time with either girl because I would feel guilty. Any ideas on what to do? I don't want to end either relationship, but I feel like I should. I just don't want to break my existing gf's heart---She still likes me, but I'm not so sure about her anymore.

I've never done a serious breakup, but if she doesn't mind you doing things with other girls then I can't see her minding you wanting to have a relationship with this new girl. Just don't do a mean break up. You'll regret it some night at a party when she's downed a pint of Lemon Gin and is looking for some guy to fool around with.

[12345421]

Originally Posted by Bleachednblonde

I said it after i saw her tongue. If she stuck her tongue out and there was a ring i would have been less abrasive about it. Said something like, "oh come on! that's so unoriginal."

Haha, nice. You should write more of these notes and then get them stickied. I can get girls that are hot and like me, but I can't approach ones that I like without procrastinating over every little thing and then just abandoning my attempt altogether.

[TrixesOwn]

so i 've liked this girl now for like 3 weeks. We've talked on the phone and aim alot (almost everyday). I cant stop thinking about her and basically i have a massive crush on her. I have no idea whether she likes me as a boyfriend or just as a friend. Anyways i asked her if she would like to hang out next week and she was like yea okk. So what i am asking is whats something good that we could do. Also how should i act around her. Should i just act like a friend or give hints that i like her? I have been thinking about just acting like a friend and that i dont really have an interest in her as a gf until i see how things go with this. This would be the first time we see eachother so it could end up being awkward.
So lets so we hang out and things go well as friends. Now what should i do to show her that i like her and want to go out with her. If next week goes well, should i just come out and say i really really like you blah blah blah. Or what?
thanks

[Bleachednblonde (Banned)]

Originally Posted by 12345421

Haha, nice. You should write more of these notes and then get them stickied. I can get girls that are hot and like me, but I can't approach ones that I like without procrastinating over every little thing and then just abandoning my attempt altogether.

here's the trick... have all your lines prepared. Have like 5-10 things that you know like the alphabet. When you see a girl, don't think! Just walk up use one of them. It's a sink or swim situation. If you jump in head first, and you have these lines in the back of your mind... self preservation will kick in and you'll do fine.

[12345421]

Originally Posted by TrixesOwn

so i 've liked this girl now for like 3 weeks. We've talked on the phone and aim alot (almost everyday). I cant stop thinking about her and basically i have a massive crush on her. I have no idea whether she likes me as a boyfriend or just as a friend. Anyways i asked her if she would like to hang out next week and she was like yea okk. So what i am asking is whats something good that we could do. Also how should i act around her. Should i just act like a friend or give hints that i like her? I have been thinking about just acting like a friend and that i dont really have an interest in her as a gf until i see how things go with this. This would be the first time we see eachother so it could end up being awkward.
So lets so we hang out and things go well as friends. Now what should i do to show her that i like her and want to go out with her. If next week goes well, should i just come out and say i really really like you blah blah blah. Or what?
thanks

Not to scare you, but the same thing happened to me, except I met a really hot girl at a goverment enhancment program. We pretty much hung around for the 3 out of the 4 days we were there (didn't meet her until the second day) and I was pretty confident that she liked me because I caught her staring at me a few times and stuff. I didn't bother trying to start a relationship because we were only there for a few days and she lives an hour and a half from me. Anyway, we talked every night on MSN and she threw out a lot of what I was sure were hints and always said she wanted to see me. I ended up getting a drive to where she lives and we hung out with two of her friends (a guy and a girl) and since then our relationship has been pretty much non-existant. She stopped talking to me on MSN when I logged on and a few days ago I seen her in the mall, and talked for a few minutes because I was in a hurry. Still nothing. Sucks, she has an unbelievable body/face/everything.

[baddogh26 (Banned)]

Originally Posted by TrixesOwn

so i 've liked this girl now for like 3 weeks. We've talked on the phone and aim alot (almost everyday). I cant stop thinking about her and basically i have a massive crush on her. I have no idea whether she likes me as a boyfriend or just as a friend. Anyways i asked her if she would like to hang out next week and she was like yea okk. So what i am asking is whats something good that we could do. Also how should i act around her. Should i just act like a friend or give hints that i like her? I have been thinking about just acting like a friend and that i dont really have an interest in her as a gf until i see how things go with this. This would be the first time we see eachother so it could end up being awkward.
So lets so we hang out and things go well as friends. Now what should i do to show her that i like her and want to go out with her. If next week goes well, should i just come out and say i really really like you blah blah blah. Or what?
thanks

1st off..........if you dont wanna be just friends with her dont act like you do.......deffinetly hint that u like her