[Jebus Christ]

I cant seem to get out of that "friend" field you know "I wanna be your friend but nothing more then that" and maybe even if they are interested I feel that I don't pick up on the signs because I am kinda picky. Any solutions?

[t_mo (Banned)]

Originally Posted by mikewitdaspike

hey, i'm turning 17 in october and i still can't really compliment a girl without going bright red and stuttering... it sucks bigtime, but i'm learning! (granted i'm a homeschooler whos been sheltered all my life till i got my job last august


EDIT: oh yah, and my problem... its not one specific girl, its girls in general i can't make eye contact or anything, and if i try, i just end up smiling REALLY big and they lose their train of thought and look at me all weird... any advice? oh yah, and how do you gently hint to a girl that you dont wanna do every little thing they want you to do? lol, theres this one (good looking but i won't date her, long story) girl who (i'll admit) has me pretty much whipped, but i can say no, but it just seems... eh, idk, she goes wacko and kicks the **** outta me (it hurts, cuz she knows where to hit) whenever i do, lol

"Your putting the ***** on a pedastal" Just talk to girls like they are people. It will come to you eventually just give it time and dont get frustrated, you are only 17.

Originally Posted by Jebus Christ

I cant seem to get out of that "friend" field you know "I wanna be your friend but nothing more then that" and maybe even if they are interested I feel that I don't pick up on the signs because I am kinda picky. Any solutions?

You cant because you are letting them call the shots. Why do you let a girl classify you? You should be the one classifying and judging girls, next time a girl starts talking about how she likes you as a friend, or is glad to have a friend like you, agree! Girls think they have the power but they do not. If she starts playing the friend routine then step up your game. Start telling her that it is so great to have a friend who is a girl, and then start asking her advice about other girls that she knows. Her jealousy will grow, and grow, and eventually she will come onto you.

Originally Posted by Bleachednblonde

Oh i meet women when i drink. But they are usually not of the highest caliber. When i drink i somehow end up with alot of 7's and 8's. Picking up 10's is really hard for me when i've been drinking. When i'm picking up a 10 i need to be able to focus on my body language and my non verbal communication skills. That all goes to **** once i start drinking!

I treat all girls the same for the most part, and that stradegy works wonders for me. Because ugly girls like me and dont cock block me, and at the same time the hot girls get super jealous. It is way easier for me as well because I do not really work harder until I get the girl in an isolated social situation.

[teh_ion]

Ok, so yeah, I got this friend and he liked this girl two years ago. Last year I started to like her. She had no feelings for him at the time and hasn't since but basicially he's mad at me cause he thought I took his girl. He had a shot though and it didn't work out am I wrong? He's givin me crap about it kind of and makin the girl feel guilty about it kind of and I just wanna know whose at fault here? Did I really take his girl and screw things up or does he just need to get over it?
thnx,
teh_ion

[AntiHero47]

I have Girl Problems....

[mikewitdaspike]

Originally Posted by Bleachednblonde

Okay dude, #1 abusive relationships => Not cool. I've been in one of those relationships, girls who have to start getting violent to get their way are WACKOS! Seriously! Kick that ***** to the curb ASAP. If you don't it's only going to get worse. Trust me i've been there!

#2, eye contact, practice with strangers. Just talk to random people in the store. Start out with some other guy, maybe a mom or something and then start talking to women all the time. Once you get used to talking to random people, talking to girls won't be a problem.

haha, #1, i know its not cool, but we're not dating, thank God, lol... annoying this is shes my sis's best friend, so i can't help being around her... strange thing is, she enjoys hanging out with me it seems... meh, whatever... oh, and #2, thanks, i'll try that...

[Bleachednblonde (Banned)]

Okay i'll answer questions tommorow. I'm drunk off my ***. It's 3 am and I dressed up as a pirate to go out tonight (i'll have pictures up soon). Let me tell you!!!! Dressing up as a pirate gets you *** like you can't believe! Chicks love guys who wear eyeliner! Peacocking is the way to go!!! draw attention to yourself! Until tommorow my freinds...






Too much fun

[bern]

alrighty, update on my girl problem, and I hope help is still avialable!

Well I hung out with that girl tonight, and actually I post this as I get back from her house. I am drunk still but I try to type well. Anyway me and her went on a long walk alone and we talked about many things. Among them was how she wanted a boyfriend that had things in common with her. Like liking punk rock which I do. We walked a couple miles than sat on a log. I had my arm around her for awhile and she didn't seem to mind. I then stole a quick peck on the lips and the strangest thing happened. She didn't kiss back, she didn't freak out, she just preteneded it didn't happen. We continued the convorsation and walked back where we eventually met her ex and his friend who were looking for us, and were worried being that we were alone on a deserted trail from 1-4 am. We met them and walked back to her house and had another couple shots. We talked more than she went to bed and I stumbled home and posted this. I think another important point to note is that before the walk I napped for 40 minutes cuddled with her and her friend (the same one mentioned in previous posts.) I hugged and sort of squezed them both and they were into it. I probably could have made out with the friend if I wanted to. I didn't because I would prefer the girl and didn't want to **** things up by making out with her best friend.

End rant and all nighter, any help would be apprieciated.

[it's called CLASS]

bern - I didn't take the time to look back at your whole story, but just from that chunk right above, it sounds like she likes being with you, but still isn't sure if she WANTS you or not. That would explain the not kissing back, either that or she just wasn't ready for it and the only way she could think of handling it was to pretend it never happened. The whole cuddling and napping and long walk thing is pretty remniscent of how most of my awesome relationships in the past have really gotten started. I think you're in good shape as of right now, the only thing you have to watch out for is that she might be being:

A. a tease - Likes the attention and knows you'll give it.

B. "just a friend" - She may not know how to explain she isn't interested like that.

I doesn't sound like those are the case here really. I say keep doing what you're doing and some night just tell her whats up, but don't corner her or put her in a tough spot, just tell her you care about her and what not and see how it goes. Try to be sober when you do it too, that way you say exactly what you want to.

The friend, honestly, might be a nice easy way to get her. Make her jealous, just don't **** her or something. Just hang out with her some more, the girl will want you more than ever.

Again sorry if this is all completely irrelevant because of some previous information, i'm just really too lazy to read all the other stuff.

[Bleachednblonde (Banned)]

Originally Posted by Jebus Christ

I cant seem to get out of that "friend" field you know "I wanna be your friend but nothing more then that" and maybe even if they are interested I feel that I don't pick up on the signs because I am kinda picky. Any solutions?

Need to achieve alpha male status. Act less like their freind and more like someone they should be with. If you've already been for quite a while, they are a lost cause. But from now on when you meet a woman, don't slip into that friend personality. It's a frame of mind. Read some of the previous posts, that should get you started

Originally Posted by teh_ion

Ok, so yeah, I got this friend and he liked this girl two years ago. Last year I started to like her. She had no feelings for him at the time and hasn't since but basicially he's mad at me cause he thought I took his girl. He had a shot though and it didn't work out am I wrong? He's givin me crap about it kind of and makin the girl feel guilty about it kind of and I just wanna know whose at fault here? Did I really take his girl and screw things up or does he just need to get over it?
thnx,
teh_ion

Sounds like gray area to me. So if one of my good freinds went and hooked up with any of my serious ex girlfreinds without talking to me first, i'd be pissed. But we also have a rule that when we go out to pick up women, if you can't snag her in 20 minutes, she's fair game for anybody. But when i re-read your post it sounds like he was never with her, so tell him to stop being a ***** and learn how to meet women. Fair game dude, he had his chance and couldn't reel her in. Your turn!

Originally Posted by bern

alrighty, update on my girl problem, and I hope help is still avialable!

Well I hung out with that girl tonight, and actually I post this as I get back from her house. I am drunk still but I try to type well. Anyway me and her went on a long walk alone and we talked about many things. Among them was how she wanted a boyfriend that had things in common with her. Like liking punk rock which I do. We walked a couple miles than sat on a log. I had my arm around her for awhile and she didn't seem to mind. I then stole a quick peck on the lips and the strangest thing happened. She didn't kiss back, she didn't freak out, she just preteneded it didn't happen. We continued the convorsation and walked back where we eventually met her ex and his friend who were looking for us, and were worried being that we were alone on a deserted trail from 1-4 am. We met them and walked back to her house and had another couple shots. We talked more than she went to bed and I stumbled home and posted this. I think another important point to note is that before the walk I napped for 40 minutes cuddled with her and her friend (the same one mentioned in previous posts.) I hugged and sort of squezed them both and they were into it. I probably could have made out with the friend if I wanted to. I didn't because I would prefer the girl and didn't want to **** things up by making out with her best friend.

End rant and all nighter, any help would be apprieciated.

You're over analyzing the little things. Don't worry about it, take charge. You're being wayyyy too passive with this girl. I would have kissed her, and when she didn't kiss back i would have called her on it. "What was that? come on seriously, you must be a better kisser than that? And you're going to have to proove it to me because I CAN NOT be with a bad kisser." You're playing this game where you're trying figure out what every little thing means so you feel nice and safe before you take that step to ask her out. Well I'll tell you that most of the time in life you don't have those little comfort stepping stones. You just have to dive in and have confidence that no matter what you'll be okay. Holding hands and cuddling can't really tell you anything.

ontop of that she has you jumping through her hoops. You're so pre-occupied with trying to figure out if she likes you. Re-frame her. Why should you be with her? I think she should have to proove herself to you! Make her chase you. And just step it up. Take a leap of faith and tell her (NOT ASK, TELL!) "Were going out this weekend."

Originally Posted by it's called CLASS

bern - I didn't take the time to look back at your whole story, but just from that chunk right above, it sounds like she likes being with you, but still isn't sure if she WANTS you or not. That would explain the not kissing back, either that or she just wasn't ready for it and the only way she could think of handling it was to pretend it never happened. The whole cuddling and napping and long walk thing is pretty remniscent of how most of my awesome relationships in the past have really gotten started. I think you're in good shape as of right now, the only thing you have to watch out for is that she might be being:

A. a tease - Likes the attention and knows you'll give it.

B. "just a friend" - She may not know how to explain she isn't interested like that.

I doesn't sound like those are the case here really. I say keep doing what you're doing and some night just tell her whats up, but don't corner her or put her in a tough spot, just tell her you care about her and what not and see how it goes. Try to be sober when you do it too, that way you say exactly what you want to.

The friend, honestly, might be a nice easy way to get her. Make her jealous, just don't **** her or something. Just hang out with her some more, the girl will want you more than ever.

Again sorry if this is all completely irrelevant because of some previous information, i'm just really too lazy to read all the other stuff.

#1 Girls will only tease if they think they can get away with it... or if it gives them their little power trip. If you don't give off that persona right away that, "i am not to be ****ed with because i will walk away from you if you play games," otherwise you need to reframe her and tease her instead. Take control of the situation and call the shots. I love to get a girl hot and horny, and leave her high and dry that night. Why? Because it demonstrates to her that i do not NEED anything from her and that she has no control over me. More importantly it also shows that I have control over my sexual urges and she can't use sex as a way of manipulating me.

#2 The friend thing either is or isn't. If you've spent 10+ hours with her and she's only your freind, you're screwed. Unless you do a take away. You stop talking to her for a couple months and then come back as a "new man." Otherwise changing your persona from "friend" to "potential bf" will piss her off. If she just wants to be freinds after 10+ hours, cut the loss and chalk it up to a learning experience.

#3 DO NOT tell her how you feel yet. She does not need to know any of your feelings. We're talking a date here, not marriage. Talking about feelings is for people who are already IN a relationship. If she wants to talk about your feelings she'll bring it up... YOU DO NOT!

#4 You do not want to be her freind, you just want to play a little game of push pull. But the first step to that is getting her interested in you. You want to play the attraction game, then once she's attracted to you tell her how you're so happy that you're just freinds. Then kiss her. Then tell her she's a good freind, then go on a date... that should be the pattern.

The real trick to having power over a woman is confusing her and then convincing her that you can lead her out of the confusion.

[teh_ion]

thanx bleachednblonde

[Bleachednblonde (Banned)]

A lot of these problems can be solved with some simple information. So while I’m feeling ambitious and have a little free time I’m going throw this out there. There are two extremes to male persona with a lot of gray area in between. So for discussions sake well say there are 3 types of males.

Persona #1
THE EXTREME *******. This guy doesn’t care what anyone thinks. He beats his girlfriend and cheats on her. He is arrogant and cocky. He never has trouble finding a girlfriend solely because of his confidence level. This is the type of guy we pretty much all hate.

Persona #2
The EXTREME PUSHOVER. This guy will follow a woman to ends of the earth with a pooper scooper if he thinks she’ll give him the time of the day. He buys her gifts. He feels that he NEEDS to be with someone in order to be important. He is insecure. He bends to her will because he fears losing her.

Persona #3
Somewhere in the middle, leaning towards the *******. Now let’s focus on this guy. This guy is perceived as an ******* by guys with persona number two BECAUSE he has the girls. This guy isn’t an *******, he is in control. He usually frustrates girls because they can’t control him. Then she goes and cries to her guy friend (who’s usually a persona #2) about what an *** this guy is and then the pushover sits there thinking, “why does she always date *******s.”

So if you’re in this position and you have a female friend that you’re interested in and she’s telling you about her ******* boyfriend… think! Is he really an *******? Or is his game just that much better than yours? THIS IS THE GUY YOU SHOULD STRIVE TO BE!

A lot of guys would say i'm an *******. But i don't hit women, i'm honest with them, i don't cheat and i don't intentionally hurt them... most of all i respect them. I'm called an ******* because some beta guy only hears about how much i break this girls heart or some ****. Of course he's going to think i'm an *******, especially if i have what he wants.

[t_mo (Banned)]

Originally Posted by Bleachednblonde

Persona #3
Somewhere in the middle, leaning towards the *******. Now let’s focus on this guy. This guy is perceived as an ******* by guys with persona number two BECAUSE he has the girls. This guy isn’t an *******, he is in control. He usually frustrates girls because they can’t control him. Then she goes and cries to her guy friend (who’s usually a persona #2) about what an *** this guy is and then the pushover sits there thinking, “why does she always date *******s.”

So if you’re in this position and you have a female friend that you’re interested in and she’s telling you about her ******* boyfriend… think! Is he really an *******? Or is his game just that much better than yours? THIS IS THE GUY YOU SHOULD STRIVE TO BE!

Here are some picture's to help comprehension.

Alpha Wolf


Beta Wolf getting owned

[Bleachednblonde (Banned)]

Originally Posted by t_mo

Here are some picture's to help comprehension.

Here's a perfect example of the contrast of alpha and beta

Look at brad pitt (alpha) he is standing straight, his head is tilted upwards, he is squared off. Look at edward norton (beta) shoulders down, head forward and slightly tilted down. Almost hunching over a little. Also look at the way they dress, Pitt stands out... he is fashionable but draws attention. Norton would blend into the crowd.

And if you think you can't be alpha... look at Edward norton. Compare his personality in Fight Club to his personality in American History X. Anyone can be alpha, they just need to know HOW

[XOne (Banned)]

Originally Posted by Bleachednblonde

Don't let her control your life. There's alot of women out there, and a lot of women that you can love. If the army is what you want to do with your life don't let her stop it. Besides it sounds like she's being pretty selfish. You made sacrafices to be with her and now because she's ****ing up in school she can't make a sacrafice to stay with you? I think it's time to move on with your life, and a new girl will fall into place.

Great news, she told me she is going to come to the same college as me so we can be together. She was telling me last night how much she loves our relationship.

For all of those who say that always when a girl says she just wants to be friends means you dont have a chance, that is bull****. You just have to be able to tell those situations from the exceptions. In my case I clearly see it is the exception, I stuck to it while trying to better myself, and now me and her are closer then we have ever been.

[4rtshark (Banned)]

I'm 17 and today was maybe the 4th time evar I've really hung out with a girl. (not alone, me her and some common guy friends) fun time, but a little awkward between her and I. me and her. I'm the subject so, me...grammar nazis unite!

You ever had that? You're with a gal and a bunch of other guy friends and they know you had a thing for her so they tease you a bit? my friends're alright but they do make fun of me.
edit: no real problem, 'cept my shyness.

[Mafty]

nvm lmao

[Bleachednblonde (Banned)]

Originally Posted by 4rtshark

I'm 17 and today was maybe the 4th time evar I've really hung out with a girl. (not alone, me her and some common guy friends) fun time, but a little awkward between her and I. me and her. I'm the subject so, me...grammar nazis unite!

You ever had that? You're with a gal and a bunch of other guy friends and they know you had a thing for her so they tease you a bit? my friends're alright but they do make fun of me.
edit: no real problem, 'cept my shyness.

So is the problem your shyness or your freinds? Friends are easy. I don't really have a problem with freinds because we all work with each other to pick up women but when some other guy wants to be a dick i just tool him.

- If he's trying to be macho (since i'm 5'11" and 145 lbs) i'm obviously not going to fight over the girl so instead i say something along the lines of "Hey man i got a great idea, why don't we arm wrestle, and then we'll do push ups, and then we'll flex our muscles and see which one of us she wants to take home *as i roll my eyes*

-If it's some guy teasing or making comments i usually snap back with something better or the best thing you can do is make it seem like their not worth your time. I like to brush guys off and say, "yea okay cool man." then turn my back and go back into my convo with the girl.

-Finally, calling them things like champ, slugger, big cheetah, buddy... belittles them. Nothing's better than telling the big tough guy... "woah there big cheetah! slow it down a little!" or "yea that's cool little buddy!"

If your shy, well then all i can tell you is it's something you have to practice. It takes 21 days to break a habbit. For the next 21 days meet two new people every day. Force yourself to talk to them for a few minutes, your shyness will go away after that.

[Muffin123 (Banned)]

bleachednblonde

what is a good way to get to know a girl you potenially like? and what are ways in making them like you? and when is the right time to ask them out to a date because i dont wanna get to know her for a long time and get cockblocked and she tells me im like her brother or something. i want a bf/gf relationship

i have not had any conversations with her so what is a good way to approach a girl you like. like what do i say etc?

(im shy)

[x-SpEeDbAlLeR-x]

go big or go home

[~Killer~]

The thing most people need to realize is that it is all about self confidence and the way you display yourself. Attraction is not a one way thing, most guys dont realize this as they are fawning over every hot girl that they see, Girls actually like guys too, most likely your "dream girl" is not a lesbian. You need to put yourself in the frame of mind that you are attractive and desirable and you need to convince yourself off it and then set off with that attitude (actually being attractive is a plus). Girls will subconsiously pick up on the attitude that you are exuding and unless they really like you or are particularly nice a shy timid attitude is not going to win you any points. When you are talking to a girl you have to be thinking that it doesnt matter what you say because she should be watching what she says to you.

Also the key to getting girls is experiance. I came to the realizations I listed above just about 4 or 5 months ago. I was a virgin up until 3 months ago. I fell on my face several times while hitting it up with girls but I just laughed at myself picked up and tried again with a different girl. Dont worry, that girl that you think is the only one for you is actually one of thousands of "only ones". Dont be afraid to talk to girls, to hit on them etc. the worst thing that can happen is for her to get up and laugh at you, and trust me no matter how embarrised you are embarrisment is a passing phase, you will get over it. So keep trying with girls until you find out what works.

[t_mo (Banned)]

Originally Posted by Muffin123

bleachednblonde

what is a good way to get to know a girl you potenially like? and what are ways in making them like you? and when is the right time to ask them out to a date because i dont wanna get to know her for a long time and get cockblocked and she tells me im like her brother or something. i want a bf/gf relationship

i have not had any conversations with her so what is a good way to approach a girl you like. like what do i say etc?

(im shy)

Well it seems like your trying to run before you crawl. You havent even had a conversation with her but you already feel like you want a long term relationship with her? First just get to know her, approach her and talk to her. This isnt rocket science, and at the same time there isnt an easy way out either. One thing you have to begin to understand is she IS NOT the end all, there are hotter, smarter, nicer, better girls out there I promise you. So if you start talking to her with that frame of mind then you will be a lot better off, realize that if she doesnt like you then... so what! Its not the end of the world, and you dont have to loose sleep over it.

So next time you see her in the hall, walk up to her and introduce yourself. If she already knows you then walk up and start a conversation with her. Is she in any of your classes? do you have any shared common interests? If so then these are always good conversation starters, and it will be easier for you to keep your train of thought if you know the subject. Now that your talking to her, you must keep the conversation short. Dont stare at her tits. Look her in the eyes confidently, and make her know that you are not uncomfortable around her, thus not trying to gain validation from her. I would also reccomend throw in some jabs. keep the converstation short and near the end make a comment that will stick in her head like the plague. BleachedBlonde has gone over this multiple times. You have to cross the nice guy ******* line but do it in a way that is funny at the same time. This comment willl also haunt her because girls are so caught up in their physical appearence that she will not stop obssessing over it. a good one is,

"Did you get a new haircut?" she will say no, then ask why. You respond with "O no reason" and end it do not continue.