"No, we need an Anti-Sportsmanship Day. A day where groin punches, eye pokes and foreign objects in the wrestling tights will be encouraged. Call it the Ric Flairification of this country. No wonder our American automotive industry is getting killed, we’re afraid to throw sand in the eyes of the foreign automotive makers.
And it stems from stuff like National Sportsmanship Day. Well I love America too much to let Sportsmanship ruin us. The Hater Nation implores all of you patriots to throw an elbow in your pickup game. Maybe go spikes high in your softball game.
In other words, be a proud American."