Chuck Norris

[#1p8ntballa06]

hey does anyone listen to 93.3(TAMPA AREA) flz in the mornin? anyways, they were talkin about the front page of the st pete times new paper. it had these chuck norris jokes. anyways mj(the dj) asked where this craze started and people were calling in and stuff. there were some that thought it started from dodge ball and shit, and then someone called in and said that this was really big on pbnation, and he explained that it started from a profesional(first name that came to mind was holliday). anyways i jsut wanted to c if anyone else heard it.

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

ive seen them before and they r pretty funny

[pyromaniacs1]

I have actually read articles saying this started a LONG time ago. But, I didn't hear the readio broadcast.

[Deimus85]

lsols

[A.O.D.snakerunner]

Chuck Norris is awesome. end of story.
ever seen any other white guy fight like that? lol.

[#1p8ntballa06]

what is islos?

[DyeProto1234]

Chuck Norris beat the Apocalypse yesterday. True story.

[*Up Wind Shot*]

I remember reading these Chuck Norris jokes a while back... I never undstood what was so funny. Seconds later i recieved a round-house kick to the face by Chuck Norris.

[04 shocker]

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

[schauffers]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.

Chuck Norris can also divide by 0

[Eels23]

hey does anyone listen to 93.3(TAMPA AREA) flz in the mornin? anyways, they were talkin about the front page of the st pete times new paper. it had these chuck norris jokes. anyways mj(the dj) asked where this craze started and people were calling in and stuff. there were some that thought it started from dodge ball and ****, and then someone called in and said that this was really big on pbnation, and he explained that it started from a profesional(first name that came to mind was holliday). anyways i jsut wanted to c if anyone else heard it.

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

ive seen them before and they r pretty funny

Yeah, I heard him this morning on the way to work. I love the MJ morning show, I liked it more though years back when it was the MJ and BJ show too. The first name was holliday though.

Andy:P

[#1p8ntballa06]

Yeah, I heard him this morning on the way to work. I love the MJ morning show, I liked it more though years back when it was the MJ and BJ show too. The first name was holliday though.

Andy:P
i did too, what happened to bj?:(



Chuck Norris can also divide by 0
i can too:tup:

[TK Geoff]

Chuck Norris is awesome. end of story.
ever seen any other white guy fight like that? lol.

Steven Seagal Duh....


heh lolz. Chuck Norris pwnz.

[A.O.D.snakerunner]

steven segal ACTS.
Chuck Norris actually FIGHTS

[HomelEsSJoE00]

Chuck Norris tagged my mom therefore I am Chuck Jr. Now I can round-house kick fools in the face should anyone try and Bunker me.....

[bngi]

1st. butt-tagging does not make babies.

2nd. Expect death for you calling yourself Chuck Jr.

[HomelEsSJoE00]

^^^^ Who said anything about A** Taggin'?????

[teamINFEKT]

chuck norris has only reproduced with women once. they were nuns. they gave birth to the 1972 dolphins. the only undefeated football team in history. if he ever made babies again the result would be jesus born with a 'chuck' beard. o and u will recieve a fatal round house kick to the face for claiming to be one chuck's perfect offspring.

[paintballa8224]

Chuck Norris tagged my mom therefore I am Chuck Jr. Now I can round-house kick fools in the face should anyone try and Bunker me.....

you cant be Chuck Jr, Chuck Norris would NEVER buy anything SP...he's just that good.

[#1p8ntballa06]

WHAT DID I START?

[pyromaniacs1]

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually round-house kick you yesterday.

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

[A.O.D.snakerunner]

Chuck Norris doesnt need a paintball gun, he can dodge bullets...and then hell punch u in ur mask n hang the flag.

[newenglandkilla]

Chuck norris' gun doesn't ramp, his fingers do.

[#1p8ntballa06]

this is getting out of hand, i like chuck but this is like "chuckie cheese" crazy!!!

[A.O.D.snakerunner]

That guy is disguised as a mouse cuz he told him he was naming a childrens play center after him...thus, chuckie cheese was born, and the ball pit hides the bodies of the first employees.

[#1p8ntballa06]

lol, where do u guys come up with this stuff?

[Arcadie]

didnt listen to them b/c i didbnt have to get up till 10 am today :( but anyways it deffinatly did not start from a pro paintballer.

[#1p8ntballa06]

it wasnt today, this thread is about 2 days old(was on monday)

[Cougar <3]

i heard chuck norris is going to be written in the bible as one of the saints.

[Arcadie]

my bad i only hear there show from 650-720 am so i only get a little of it

[A.O.D.snakerunner]

lol, where do u guys come up with this stuff?
idk...i just start typing away...that i didnt think was gonna work to well but, it did.

[teamINFEKT]

Chuck Norris doesnt need a paintball gun, he can dodge bullets...and then hell punch u in ur mask n hang the flag.

yes chuck can dodge bullets...but he doesnt hang flags. he roundhouse kicks them to the "flag hanging station" as so well put by mr. norris himself. also if wishes to eliminate someone from a game he simply kicks the flag that was on its way to the "flag hanging station" towards u. this will instantly kill not by the brute force of the flag thoguh amazing.....but by the shear amazement that any one human being ,if he can be called that, could kick a simple flag through a bunker and hit u with it...... just wait til the pros find this out......if he isnt on their team all the other teams will call themselves out before the game starts and will beg for forgiveness for even attempting to challenge the "HOLY KICKING ONE"

[teamINFEKT]

i heard chuck norris is going to be written in the bible as one of the saints.

Here is how c-dizzle would have been in the bible......

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

[A.O.D.snakerunner]

there are no navy seals...only Chuck Norris.

[s6i9rpimpsalot]

lets start the officail chuck norris fan club

if it starts i guess ill be # 1

[AGDpaintball]

when chuck norris goes to get his blood drawn, he denies the syringe and asks only for a handgun and a bucket

[AGDpaintball]

ill b #2!!

[#1p8ntballa06]

lol, i guess im #3. (i should b #1 since i started the thread:mad: )

[AGDpaintball]

there are no cripples, only ppl who met chuck norris

[carr2jabar]

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he never cries. Make me number 4!!

[StLballer007]

Chuck Norris dosn't read books he stares them down until he gets the infromation that he wants out of them. I am number 5 o yeah

[EKKsoldier622]

98 Rock in the morning > MJ

[HomelEsSJoE00]

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He round-house kicks cows and butter comes striaght out. ;)

Numero 6 fo me...

[bushmaster2k4]

The chief export of chuck norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC claiming "law" and "order" are trademarked names for his left and right leg.


# 7

[s6i9rpimpsalot]

alright #1paintballa06 and i should both be the #1 but only chuck norris can slam a revolving door

[#1p8ntballa06]

alright #1paintballa06 and i should both be the #1 but only chuck norris can slam a revolving door
:)

[shooteratc]

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

[AGDpaintball]

chuck norris created cancer because he was bored w/ roundhouse kicking ppl to death

[bngi]

chuck norris created cancer because he was bored w/ roundhouse kicking ppl to death

Not bloody likely. Him beeing tired of roundhousekicking would be like a normal person getting tired of breathing.

[#1p8ntballa06]

did yall hear they might bring back walker texas ranger? yea true story!! the setting is going to be in the midddle east, instead of texas. bush is going to take all teh troops out of iraq, and walker is going to be a 1 man army. they predict the war will b over in 12.954 seconds. and chuck will drink all teh oil that is over there and piss it into our gas stations. gass prices will drop from $2.50 to 5cents a gallon.

[AGDpaintball]

Not bloody likely. Him beeing tired of roundhousekicking would be like a normal person getting tired of breathing.

i said BORED not TIRED....and yes

i get bored of breathing sometimes

[teamINFEKT]

ill be member number 8......

chuck norris punched a woman in the vagina because she didnt give him exact change.

there is no such thing as handicapped parking spots. those spots are reserved for chuck norris and the signs are warning telling foolsih people that if they take his spot they will become handicapped.:eek:

[wildboy870]

#9

[#1p8ntballa06]

wow this turned out to be a fanclub.....i had no idea

[s6i9rpimpsalot]

im pretty amazed myself

[AGDpaintball]

soo am i still number 2? lol

[#1p8ntballa06]

yea ur # 2

[s6i9rpimpsalot]

someone should make a new thread maybe in small talk so more people can really see it???

[flyboy959]

#10! Chuck norris fanclubs are just people who havent been roundhouse kicked by him yet

[shooteratc]

Thats not a list of credits at the end of Walker Texas Ranger. It's a list of people Chuck Norris killed during the filming of that particular show.

[#1p8ntballa06]

Thats not a list of credits at the end of Walker Texas Ranger. It's a list of people Chuck Norris killed during the filming of that particular show.
HAHAHA :tup: :tup:

[#1p8ntballa06]

Can Someone Post This Thread In Small Talk? Adn Jsut Let It Go From There.

and whatever the last member # is on here(like flyboy #10 right now) then who evr makes the thread jsut start it on # 11. get my flow?

[rtontgt888]

word,. except start it on numer 12. shotty number 11

[cocker rocker]

#12... Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas

[JDCool]

Chuck Norris once was sitting with his girlfriend one day and she said, "I love you, boo." Chuck Norris exclaimed
"HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN FRONT OF CHUCK NORRIS?"
He then proceded to rip her throat out and hold it lauging and screaming
"DON'T FUCK WITH CHUCK!"
Two and a half years later, he realized the irony and laughed so hard everyone within a 2 mile radius was deaf.

[cocker rocker]

also, there isnt a chin behind Chuck's beard, just another fist

[A.O.D.snakerunner]

ill b#3 since we went from 1 to 9

[StLballer007]

When the boogey man goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

[p8intball3r]

<<<<#13, walker texas ranger is teh s**t

[atomixpaintball]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

Time waits for no man...except Chuck Norris.

[#1p8ntballa06]

did u also know chuck norris's mom is a virgin?

.....we learn something new every day!!

[swiftshooter04]

There is no theory of evolution, Theres only what Chuck Norris has allowed to survive.

Chuck Norris whent to Mars, Thats why theres no life there.

[zachattack0954]

every saturday Chuck Norris invites orphans to his house and continually roundhouse kicks them in the face while listening to "It's A Hard Knock Life"
then when their session is done, they all thank him in unison and leave.

A blind man walks up and touches chuck norris's shoe w/ his foot, the man is instantly healed only to find chuck norris roundhouse kicking him in the face and that being the 1st and last thing the man ever saw...

[#1p8ntballa06]

u gusy do know that chuck norris has other moves besides round house kicks. he has drop kicks too.

[Intoxication1]

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes, corn needs to lie the fuck down.

[amish nation]

chuck norris once brought a dying lamb to the set of walker texas ranger, as the crowd gathered he brought it bhack to life by nudging it with his beard, he then round-house kicked it in the face kiklling it instantly, saying "the good chuck giveth, and the good chuck taketh away"

[flyboy959]

whoa...this is sooo off what it started as...:tup:

[#1p8ntballa06]

lol, dont tell me...

[bngi]

chuck norris once brought a dying lamb to the set of walker texas ranger, as the crowd gathered he brought it bhack to life by nudging it with his beard, he then round-house kicked it in the face kiklling it instantly, saying "the good chuck giveth, and the good chuck taketh away"


Haha, thats probobly one of the best so far :E

[#1p8ntballa06]

damn, we attract people all the way from sweden. i heard they like their chuck like we like ours...

[cocker rocker]

Thats alright, Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

[zachattack0954]

when someone asked chuck norris what time it is, Chuck said "2 seconds til" , the man said" 2 seconds til what?" Chuck norris instantly kicked him in the face.

Chuck norris was roundhouse kicking some random man in the face and his foot went soo fast that it travelled back in time and kicked Amelia Earnhardt in the face while she was flying over the pacific ocean.

Chuck norris went back in time to try to stop the JFK assassination, when oswald shot at kennedy, chuck stood in the way and stopped the bullets with his beard, kennedy's head instantly exploded in mere amazement...

[shooteratc]

The Dinosaur's looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE!

[bngi]

If Bruce Lee was alive, He'd be using the Total Gym.

[s6i9rpimpsalot]

now all we need is the russians, but they have a thing for david hassolhauf. (sad face)

[StLballer007]

The infomerical for the total Gym was origanally to be an episode of MTV's cribs for Chuck Norris

[FutileColton]

Chuck Norris is replacing Ollie Lang on Dynasty.

[StLballer007]

a little off topic but

In midevil times there was a punishment known as the pitying. They would take those to be tourchered and put them in front of Mr. T with his arms folded and shacking his head. They found this punishment to be too cruel so they created the crucifix, quatering, and the iron madien

[#1p8ntballa06]

Chuck Norris is replacing Ollie Lang on Dynasty.
thats a fact

[mattimus5460]

have u ever wondered if chuck norris knows about all these jokes?

[#1p8ntballa06]

he does, there was an article on the cover of the st. pete times(newspaper here in fl.) and he said he knew about them.

[shooteratc]

have u ever wondered if chuck norris knows about all these jokes?He does, but he reportedly doesn't pay attention to them. I read an article about it. They also do Mr. T and Vin Diesel lines.

They aren't jokes, consider them truth.

[A.O.D.snakerunner]

chuck norris isnt replacing dynasty, he is his own team. he plays 3,5,7 and 10 man, psp 5 man xball, and nxl. he has yet to be beaten.

[Ellis727]

have u ever wondered if chuck norris knows about all these jokes?

two nights ago he was on the best damn sports show reciting them himself.

[A.O.D.snakerunner]

he was on the tv guide channel 2night, he said the boogey man does check for him at night.

[#1p8ntballa06]

THE 4 commandments

#1 thou shall not ask chuck to spar
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d195/wcwildcats06/aaron.jpg
this is what happens when u ask chuck norris to spar with you(you suffer from to many blows to the head)


#2 thou shall not question chucks authority
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d195/wcwildcats06/untitled.jpg
and this is what happens to you when u question his authority.


#3 thou shall never trick or treat at chucks house
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d195/wcwildcats06/tyler_beat_up.jpg
this is why u never go trick or treating at chucks house!! poor little timmy:(


#4 thou shall not.....do what ever it takes to get a round hosue in the face!
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d195/wcwildcats06/vandamme.jpg
this is what 1 round house to the face by chuck norris will do to a man.:eek:

[Ellis727]

In the Begining Chuck norris created god.Then God, driven by the fear of a swift roundhouse kick created the earth for Chuck norris.

[hyperalias]

When you play Chuck Norris, you don't need to cap your gun at 15bps. It caps itself out of respect and fear.

[Ellis727]

lmao. good one

[#1p8ntballa06]

chuck norris abducts aliens, and probes them for fun.

[brockocoli]

the chuck norris jokes started to get popular about 4 months ago at my school.

Heres my take on it:

dodgeball made chuck norris reappear. then we all watched his old movies...decided he was a badass western hero, like a cowboy james bond, and started to idolize him.

[#1p8ntballa06]

the chuck norris jokes started to get popular about 4 months ago at my school.

Heres my take on it:

dodgeball made chuck norris reappear. then we all watched his old movies...decided he was a badass western hero, like a cowboy james bond, and started to idolize him.


you better not let chuck norris read that. u might end up like those people above^^^^

[wildboy870]

Chuck Norris dosent buy butter. He just round house kicks cows.

[magicsly1]

<<<<#14

Chuck Norris for president.

Edit: Recently scientists have discovered that all lockness monster sightings really are Chuck Norris' right leg.

[StLballer007]

Chuck Norris won a game of "Simon Says" against Simon.

[bushmaster2k4]

While hiking in the mountains, chuck norris came upon a convent where he inpregnated every one of the nuns. 9 months later, the 1972 miami dolphins were born.

[Eels23]

Who would win in a fight? Chuck Norris or God? Trick question Chuck Norris is God.

Andy:P

[sn0wman77]

wat the hell wat a weird thread

[zpowen01]

nice

[brockocoli]

wat the hell wat a weird thread

:dodgy:

[eu4ea]

Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

[kidwithagun]

chuck norris doesn't teabag women, he potato sacks them

[Albert React]

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya."

[paintballa8224]

the chuck norris jokes started to get popular about 4 months ago at my school.

Heres my take on it:

dodgeball made chuck norris reappear. then we all watched his old movies...decided he was a badass western hero, like a cowboy james bond, and started to idolize him.

too bad i grew up watching those movies idolizing chuck norris....i didnt jump on the bandwagon

[kidwithagun]

chuck norris does not need to use pickup lines, he just simply says "NOW"

[ghost.d0wn]

http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx

[brockocoli]

too bad i grew up watching those movies idolizing chuck norris....i didnt jump on the bandwagon

in this case, the bandwagon is bigger than the original fan core.

[bngi]

Let this thread live!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=n8QAeoFdM5g


:D:D:D

EDit: Dunno if it was already posted :P

[#1p8ntballa06]

Let this thread live!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=n8QAeoFdM5g


:D:D:D

EDit: Dunno if it was already posted :P

i dont think it was. that is funny as hell. extremely nice find. :tup: :tup: :tup: :tup: :tup: :tup: :tup:

[brockocoli]

that is pretty darn funny.

haha the very last one he says is the best.

[silentphart1]

Why did people revive chuck norris' fame.

I say we do the same with Steve McQueen.

[splatmania]

can i join the chuck noris fan club ?

[StrangeHolliday]

blood in blood out

[WDP_Victory_MC]

Hey guys check out this game. You play as Chuck and you get to smash ninjas, eat there hearts, and use their brains as footballs.

http://hallpass.com/media/chucknorris.html

[#1p8ntballa06]

naa sorry, cant say i have.

[CoZZy]

http://www.ultimateshowdown.org/

Watch this, LOLOL. Long live Chuck Norris.

-CoZZy

[#1p8ntballa06]

pretty funny

[backman303]

chuck norris practices the "pull out method" not because of safe sex but the fact that the force of his load would kill a women

[maldon007]

true... & there is no "safe sex" with Chuck Norris, his sperm roundhouse kicks right through the condom & each individual "micro chuck" will fly to a nearby woman & impregnate her... thats why most people are Chuck Norrises offspring.

[jayplanedin]

when chuck norris jumps into a pool of water he doesnt get wet.... the water gets chuck norris'd